- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Just want to vent it out a little. When I first start to plan my wedding, my mom and SIL give me tons of ideas, told me it would be nice to do this and that. I listen as I want everybody feel involved and happy. Now that the guest list goes up to 200 people (not my wish but it happen that way) and my mom ended up having 10 out of town guest flying from Asia (all her immediate famly members) to attend my wedding. My SIL and my mom slowly blaming me that why am I making it such a big party as they expected a casual one…. meaning that I should not hire an expensive photographer (6300 for engagement, 12 hours coverage, gown + evening gown rental and makeup etc.) and hiring a decorator at $1980, $1350 for renting the church (including a pianoist, minister, and using the historical church for 2 hours)
I originally wanted to just get marry in vegas, then I felt bad to leave out my family …. I want them to be there…. But paying their accomodation with wedding cost would be around 20K, so I figure I might as well get married locally…. cost just add up quickly…
You would think family would not stress the bride out when I’m trying to be very positive… which I am very calm still. I was estimating by October, I would manage to save at least 9K that would be enough to cover photo & decorator, cake etc. Plus as a Chinese culture, people will gift us cash which should cover our banquet (not that I’m relying on that, I’m fully prepare that I might have to pull cash from the line to cover, expecting nothing from the groom family to help out…even though future mother in law mentioned that she will contribute 5K – 10K to help us out)
It just upset me that it was my mom and my SIL told me that it’s once a lfie time, and got so hyper about it… and now blaming it all on me when I’m still calm…. do I really need this type of stress???
SIL keep saying when she got married, she never got that big … but that’s totally different. First of all, we were living in a small town back then. Either my brother or her has a huge family like my FI. None of our family from asia flew over for their wedding, they ended up fly back to Asia to host another party for them. I choose not to go back to Asia, so that’s why these relative fly over for my wedding. I took my mom and my SIL to view the photographer package, they agreed with the past production are amazing and it’s easy to go with their package that I don’t have to stress over on the tiniest thing… one stop shop it all…..
I’m not trying to back stabbing my SIL but we are just in complete different situation. Back then when she was planning her wedding, she insist NOT to work for a year.(she just finished college when she got engaged)..and completely rely on my brother and my family to help her out. Of course she can’t have a big party. My parents pay for their asia banquet….. On my side of story, FI and I are fully prepare to pay for everything on our own. We are in it together…. just annoyed me that because my mom and SIL stress out of the 10 out of town guest.. the start blaming on me…
I didn’t call or invite those relative, although I feel very honoured tha they fly over. Isn’t it as a family, we will work this out together ???