Keeping Connected to Friends at Different Stages in Life?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
15014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have one or two that I am still friends with from my early twenties. I think that it is just natural to move on as different interests, lifestyles, and lifestages start to become more clear. Now that doesn’t mean you have to cut them out, keeping up with them on fb, major life events, and the occasional outing is all good, maybe later on you will find yourself back in swing with were they are at and can reconnect. 

Post # 4
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This is such a relevant topic. I think that it comes down to you and your friends having a mutual respect for each other and your life choices. Just because they like to party doesn’t mean you can’t catch up over coffee or brunch or something like that, or you can attend a party and have a couple of drinks with them. Just because differing interests activities means that you probably won’t hang out together as much, doesn’t mean you can’t stay connected in different ways

Post # 5
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsN14:  I think it’s about making time for your friends, especially time with just you. I am 22, FI is 30, and I am the first of my friends to get engaged, have a full time job, live in my own home, etc. I make sure to make time for girl time or time just for us without my FI, so that my friends see that I’m still me and we can still spend time together. Does FI ever spend time with the group? Absolutely! But I really think it just comes down to committing yourself to make time for those friends, even as your life changes, moves on and gets busier. 

Post # 6
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsN14:  It is very challening when you are moving to a new stage of life and your friends aren’t. The relationship will either grow and adapt, or it will end. I have lost friends with each life stage I’ve gone through, but I’ve also become closer to others and met new people. As sad as it is, sometimes folks just grow apart :-

Overall, I feel friendships work better if you are in the same place in life with the same goals, interests, and hobbies. Just my experience though!

Post # 8
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Barn

This is also happening to me right now! I’m the first of my friends to move out and move away, will be the first to get married… My best friend is still very much in the party stage, drinking, hooking up. Plus she’s very into appearance, clothes and hair and makeup. I’m just not interested in that stuff. It’s sad 🙁 We have a lot less to talk about too. Wish I had some advice for you OP! 

Post # 9
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As your life changes, so do your friends sometimes. It’s not that it’s malicious, but just the natural flow of things. It’s more comfortable to be around people who are into the same things you are, whether it’s clubbing, taking classes, getting married, having kids.

Make time for them as best you can, but don’t force something that doesn’t work. And remember, just because things kind of wane right now, doesn’t mean they won’t pick back up later.

Post # 10
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsN14:  I’m a few years older than you, but when I got engaged at 21 my friends were dumbfounded. They just couldn’t relate because they were still in the hookup/party mindset. A lot of things led to where our relationships are now but basically I don’t talk to them very much anymore. If they happen to reach out I’ll be cordial but we just don’t have anything in common anymore. I still love them and care about them, but they’re not the people who come to mind when something major happens, when I need advice, or have a funny story. I think that happens a lot over the course of your life. Some people are not going to remain.

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