Keeping it a secret

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Blueeyedgirl212121:  My thought is if you truly want it to be a secret, don’t tell them. They might not post to FB, but they will probably tell an aunt, a cousin, grandparent, etc. Or you just go into knowing they will probably let it slip to someone. 

Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Blueeyedgirl212121:  That’s a tough one. I totally get why you would want to tell you mom and his parents, but if you’re afraid that they’ll spill the beans you probably should hold off. I think that if you ask you mom and his parents to keep it a secret and explain to them the reasons why you don’t feel comfortable with any other people knowing, they likely will respect your wishes. Hope it all works out! 🙂

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  .
Post # 4
Member
2469 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

There’s not much else you can do except to tell them how important it is for you to be able to tell others yourself when you feel ready. Is there another close family friend/relative that you would feel comfortable with them knowing? Then they could have someone to be excited with. I told two of my aunts so that my mom could have someone other than my dad to talk to about it and be excited with.

Post # 6
Member
6862 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t tell them until you’re ready to announce.

Post # 7
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Blueeyedgirl212121:  i actually had this discussion with DH. I had told DH that when we tell our family at 12 weeks (Christmas) I want them to keep it to themselves and DH made a good point that we cant tell people what to do with information they are given. They are excited, they are going to be grandparents (for my mom its a first). 

We have decided to wait to tell our families until I am at least 12 weeks bc that way my risk for miscarriage has decreased signifcantly. I know there is always a risk but at 12 weeks, the chances are pretty slim. I plan on keeping it off FB for awhile so I will have to tell my the fsmily to keep it off FB and I dont think there js anything wrong with that.

Post # 8
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Once the “Cat’s outta the bag” it’s really hard to know what will happen with the intended secret. If you have a bad gut feeling that either of the people you want to tell will blab it out – then I suggest waiting awhile so the news doesn’t spread so quickly and then if it does you anticipated that to happen. My mother and sister are sworn to secrecy until Christmas. But they can blab to eachother all they want about the babe because I have told both of them. Hope it works out for you – either way you decide.

Post # 9
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Tell them that this is baby #1, and if they want to be “in the loop” early for future announcements (baby’s sex, labor, birth, future pregnancies), then they MUST keep it to themselves. If they blab, then they will not find out about future ‘special events’ until the general public knows.

Post # 10
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Blueeyedgirl212121:  I think that maybe you should hold off on telling them. A similar situation occurred recently and it didn’t end well. A girl I know found out she was pregnant and told her mum when she was only 5 weeks. She asked everyone to keep it a secret but her mum was so excited that she told my mum.. My mum then told me… I think many people knew about it that weren’t suppose to.  Anyway when my mum told me I was shocked to find out considering 5 weeks is so early (I am currently 9 weeks and still haven’t told my mum).  About a week later the girl had a miscarriage and her mum had to I untell everyone. It is an exciting time and people love to share happy news but it’s just risky to share so early if you’re not prepared to untell them if something were to go wrong.

 

DH and I have our first appointment next week and will be waiting to tell our parents after we have heard a heartbeat. We will be 10 weeks then and we will feel comfortable for extended family to find out at 12 weeks. Fingers crossed our parents can keep a secret for 2 weeks, however if we have the reassurance of a scan and heartbeat it won’t be such a disaster if others find out at 10 weeks too. 

Post # 12
Member
4383 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you truly can’t trust them, then they don’t deserve to hear the news early on (that sounds so harsh, but I think it’s true). I’d tell them only when you’re ready for the whole world to know. 

Post # 13
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We told our parents and siblings around 9-10 weeks because we had the chance to tell them in person.  My mom really wanted to tell her best friend, but I asked her to wait until we at least saw a heartbeat, and then not to tell anyone else.  I know she wants to tell everyone she sees, but she’s been good so far.  And our siblings have been good about keeping it off FB, etc, too.  

I’m 12 weeks tomorrow and we’ll be telling extended family and grandparents over Thanksgiving.  After that, I don’t care who knows, though I won’t make it public at work for a while.  

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