(Closed) keeping pregnancy private- thoughts?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

DH is pretty anti-facebook. I enjoy facebook and really like keeping up with friends. BUT when it comes to my pregnancy, I am being much more private about it, just naturally. First it was because we were keeping it a secret, then because we hadn’t told everyone yet. Now that people know, well, I just don’t feel the need to out myself publicly.

That said, I’m assuming that in the next few months there will be pictures of me at events or mentions from other people on my wall. I won’t avoid those or take them down. (I have a friend who is due in January that is doing that – she actually deleted posts from friends commenting on how good she looked etc.).  But I’m not planning to invite them either.

I will post something after baby is born, so everyone knows and knows we are safe and happy (think it’s the easiest way to get out the news and not miss anyone). 

After that, DH and I have discussed at length — because facebook is so pervasive and it really is a nice way to get updated on friends and their kids. We are planning to open him an account that will be for the iRun Family.  We will only become friends with people we are actively friends with “in real life” and plan to post pictures an updates on that facebook feed only.  We view it as a nice way for our good friends to keep up with baby’s life. But we don’t want the random HS friends etc. to be getting the play by play.  Also no naked baby pics regardless.

So, all in all, we’re choosing a middle ground.

Post # 4
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

My husband and I are not ones to share personal information on Facebook. We’ll post photos from family events or link a funny video or comment when we see/hear something funny, but it would be weird for either of us to “announce” on Facebook. The people who really need to know will hear it from us or our immediate family members. We aren’t going to HIDE it. As in, if my belly is visible by Christmas and people see and comment that’s fine but I don’t plan on posting anything pregnancy or baby-related on Facebook. I have like 1,000 and for about 950 of those, it’s none of their concern!

Post # 5
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m just about 11 weeks and I’m struggling with this as well. So far we have only told both sets of parents and my best best friend (of 20 years) and telling them was already a pretty big deal for me. I’m a very private person normally and feel even more private about my pregnancy.

We are telling siblings and the majority of our close friends next week after our NT scan and I think that’s where it will end for me. I don’t feel the need to make a facebook announcement (and told my mom she couldn’t either. She LOVES facebook annoucments. She announced my engagement before us) and will just let people figure it out on their own.

Post # 6
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m not really into facebook (neither is DH) and wasn’t planning on posting anything about the pregnancy except for maybe a few pictures after the baby is born.  A family member outed me at 14 weeks, though, so now everybody on facebook knows I’m expecting.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with announcing a pregnancy on facebook so long as you’ve already told the important people in your life in a more personal way, but where I get annoyed is when people post the play-by-play of every symptom, every ultrasound photo, labor updates, etc.

Post # 7
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it would be kinda weird to not talk about it or hide it. We didn’t make a big announcement, I feel they can get kinda cheesy to be honest. But after our last doctor’s appointment I posted that I had a good doctor’s appointment where we got to hear our baby’s heartbeat, and told people what the due date was.

Beyond that I haven’t posted much about the pregnancy, I’m really just not a facebook oversharer. On the contrary, I’m a huge fan of stfuparents, haha. It seems natural to share the fact that I’m pregnant with my facebook friends, but they don’t need to see all my ultrasound pics or know how far dilated I am or anything like that. Even though that has made some of my relatives think I’m just not excited to be pregnant, because how can I contain the urge to show the word the pregnancy test, ultrasounds, pics of the kid popping out, pics of the first time breastfeeding, etc., the way they did.

Also, I absolutely do not get belly pictures. If you want to keep them for yourself, whatever. But I do not understand what posessed grown women to pull up their shirt for pictures and then post it for all their co-workers, friends from school they haven’t seen in forever, extended family, etc. to see.  

Post # 8
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If I didn’t share things on FB, I wouldn’t be able to share with anyone.  I have no local friends, family, or even aquaintences.  That doesn’t mean I’d post a blow by blow account of a pregnancy, but I’d definitely use it.  I’m jealous of those of you who don’t need to use FB to keep in touch with people.

ETA: I think ultrasound photos on FB are creepy though…don’t plan on ever posting those.

Post # 9
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it all depends on how into Facebook you all are.  I Facebook A LOT but hubby doesn’t.  Most of his posts the last year have been from me tagging him in my status updates.  I know that I have to put it on Facebook when we’re ready to announce it (sometime after Thanksgiving).  I think it would be odd to eventually post a picture or something of us with the baby and then have to answer questions after the fact about “the random baby you are holding”.  I probably won’t post everything, but major updates and ultrasounds.  I have friends who post everything daily… and that gets old. 

Post # 10
Member
5429 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t post everyday things. but milestones are okay!

  • heard heartbeat on monitor -found out we have 2!!

  • had ultrasound – baby is okay

  • baby is here!

These types of things! And no pictures…

Post # 11
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Personally, I feel like there is a lot of over-thinking going on in this article.  My beliefs are that if you don’t want to post something on FB, then don’t.  If you do, go for it.  I think some people are infinitely more private than others; some people overshare. It’s all up to you, but I don’t think there should be backlash if you decide not to share – that doesn’t seem right to me, either.

Post # 12
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

My entire family lives literally thousands of miles away, and in a different country, so FB is how we stay in touch. I don’t think I overshare, but I definitely post photos and updates for them to see what’s going on.

Post # 13
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro

We told our closest friends and family members at the end of the 1st/beginning of the 2nd trimester. We waited until 20 weeks to say anything on Facebook. We probably won’t post anything else baby-related, though, unless it’s a big deal (like pictures from a shower or the announcement of the birth).

Post # 14
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

@Mrs. Mole:  Didn’t know the Moles were expecting! Congrats. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2006

@DrTeeth:  +1. Exactly. Let those who want to share share and those who don’t don’t. 

I personally, I’m very private. I will not be posting any suck news on facebook. The people I talk to every day and close family will know in real life. They don’t need facebook to know. If I need to talk to long distance relatives, I’ll call, text, or IM or email pictures. 

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