Post # 1
I am a terrible secret keeper…but I really want to keep the dress secret because I want it to be a surprize! Simple as that. The only people who have seen it is my mom, sisters and FMIL. Thats all.
I didn’t think it would make people upset, but one of my bridesmaids got very ‘annoyed’, or upset with me for not sharing the dress. I explained that I wanted it to be a surprize, and I did let her know the style, but I did not show her pictures. When I tried to change the subject, she was truly upset, and kept asking/saying “why won’t you show anyone?”, “thats weird”, and “you’re just being dramatic”.
I’m not too sure how to react to that, but I feel like its my choice and nobody should take offense- they’ll see it on the wedding day!
Anybody else out there not sharing their dress? What kind of reactions have you had?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
I just show others the stock photo. They don’t have to see me in it!
Post # 4
@MsCorona2bee: show her a different dress to shut her up. She will be the most surprised on the day haha
Post # 5
@leisha606: Good idea!! I totally should have! I was most definitely not going to show her just because she got upset. I stuck to my guns even more!!
Post # 6
She probably is offended thinking you aren’t “close enough to show her”. I got a little upset when my best friend wouldn’t show me her dress. i clearly didnt SHOW I was upset… but I was a little disappointed. She ended up showing me anyway a month later and i think it brought us closer that we both shared the same “Secret”. I think sharing a dress photo with your bridesmaids and close family is nice. however if you TRULY want noone to know, stick to your guns and they should understand.
Post # 7
@MsCorona2bee: I tell people I want the dress to be a surprise – thanks to the bees who suggested that line last summer!!! 🙂 When we have house guests I put a “decoy” dress photo in my wedding planning book. LOL
So far no one has been upset, or else they were too polite to say so. 🙂
Post # 8
@Sarahupup: Thats true. Thanks for your insight since you’ve been on the other side.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I showed my bridesmaids. But I wouldn’t call you dramatic for wanting to withold it. I personally find it surprising you wouldn’t want to share with your bridesmaids. I let the surprise be with FI and my guests, but I like to have my bridal party there to share in exciting things like dresses 🙂 Just my .02
Post # 10
There was another bee who did a dress-reveal pic with her bridesmaids on her wedding day. It was great! Perhaps you also could plan to do that, and offer that as a possible reason?
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - Catholic Church Ceremony & Restaurant/Bed & Breakfast Reception
I wanted to but couldn’t stop- and then once I showed a few people they would guilt me with- “Oh, I heard so-and-so saw your dress! Can I see it?”! It’s been fun to share it but I kind of wish I would have kept my grip and kept it a secret…
Post # 12
@Brielle: Thats a great idea! I will totally use that as the ‘excuse’ for not showing it.
Post # 13
@senoritafancypants: Thats how i felt. It is a slippery slope once you show one person then it leads to showing more people!! Lets see if I dont crack and give in one of these days… I have 5 months to go!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
I know someone that did that. It was fun and the dress was a real suprise on the day.
Post # 15
@MsCorona2bee: I guess I am with your BM. I really don’t get the keeping it a secret thing. I honestly can’t remember the details of anyones dress but my own and refusing to show someone comes off to me personally a bit dramatic and silly. Honestly I ask to be polite but at the end of the day I really don;t care about your dress so yeah I don’t need it to be some big dramatic secret.
The only person I know who has done this super secret dress thing, well it didn’t turn out so well. I found most of the women at that wedding to be more critical of her choice than they had been at other weddings and there were a lot of comments like “I don’t see what the big deal was such and such wore the same dress” or “what a let down, she built the dress up to be something magical and it is just a plain old dress”.
Post # 16
My dress is a secret from EVERYONE! My Mum, FMIL, 2/3 bridesmaids and my granny all came on at least one of my shopping days, but none of them know which one I’ve chosen.
It’s tough sometimes, especially when they ask or try to trick me into saying something about it, but I couldn’t turn around and show one person without feeling like I’d need to show everyone.
Your bridesmaid is maybe just a bit put out that she doesn’t get to share the experience with you, but I like PP’s suggestion of the “bridesmaid reveal/first look”!