- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I am new to the board, and newly engaged. We are having a semi-long engagement, simply because we are having the wedding on my grandparents property (where my parents were married– 25 years this past July) and I want to give my grandfather plenty of time to do all the little projects around the place that he has been putting off. Don’t get me wrong, I am not anal or anything, but there are a few things in dissrepair around the property that my family wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving the way they are while hosting guests. My grandfather told me that it would be his honor, and my grandma is very excited since she gets her projects done!
I probably would have preffered a shorter engagment, only because a shorter engagement means less time to waffle and over-research decisions or create time or money suckiing projects for ourselves. My DF is glad to have a slighty longer engagement, only because it allows for more time to save for the wedding and honeymoon (the wedding expenses are being split by my family, his father, and the pair of us). He is the one pushing for us to start planning now, so we have a better idea of what we will need to budget. We both have agreed to keep things fairly inexpensive, since I am the type of lady that can think of so many other things I would rather spend our money on, like traveling and eventually becoming home owners.
His other major concern with the wedding is avoiding creating a lot of work and stress for me. I have a full-time job (like many ladies) and a heart condition. Stress and I don’t get along, which is something he is concerned about. He has a good point, but I am most concerned with the day of and the day proceeding the wedding and wedding errands and setting up taking its toll on me. I have a hard time being on my feet, so that mixed with stess could be very trying physically. Because we are having the wedding “at home” and outdoors everything is going to have to be set up the day of. I have a great family that are willing to help (everyone helped with my parent’s wedding, which was DIY and they still talk about how enjoyable it was), but at the same time I don’t want to be the bride that makes her family slave away while she is off sitting somewhere.
I feel bad about not being able to get in there and help as much as I would like to. Because of this, I would really like to keep things simple. Although we aren’t planning on using a WP or a bunch of vendors, I am also trying to keep complex DIY stuff to a minimum (I am very artistic and love to make things, so this is a hard one) and eliminate unecessary and fussy things. Part of it is that I admit that I am going to have to have help/may have to let other people do the set up for the wedding, and I don’t want to stress them out or get upset about details getting messed up– basically I am hoping to keep DIY projects to the point that the guys in my family could help– flower arrangements that don’t need arranging, just cutting wholesale stems to length and tossing them in a vase, ect. I am also looking to eliminate some of the little fussy things that come along with weddings, particularly paper product and decor-wise. Fussy and men don’t go well together, and I also figure there will be a bonus of money saved without detracting from the day.
So far we have our location on the lawn, a backup location in case of rain (the family hay barn), our date, and we are strongly considering doing an A.M. wedding with a breakfast/brunch buffet– potentially with no cake (DF is not a fan) or bouquet or garter toss, and only a first dance/few dances. So far we are thinking about not having a wedding party, or just FG and RB, although DF may decide he would like to have groomsmen, and then I would have to drag some friends from across the country, or ask his sisters. I would like people to be able to sit for breakfast, but don’t want seating assigned, and am considering doing haybales with quilts or just having people stand for the ceremony (which is what my parents did, with the exception of a few very elderly family members). The setting is already very pretty with a mountain and lake view, some antiques that sit about, with trees and some yellow flowering bushes that will be in bloom behind us, and a few planters that my grandmother fills with annuals every year. The wedding should be 50 guests or less, almost entirely family.
So ladies, what things can we eliminate from a traditional wedding or today’s popular wedding that are more work than they are worth, or our guests won’t miss? Also, are there any things that are important or must-dos in your mind, or are fairly simple but big on the “bang-for-your-buck/work”? Anything that was “so worth it”?
Basically I am trying to create a wedding checklist minus all the “extras” we probably won’t do, both as a way to keep us from going overboard with “ideas” and “projects” and also to help with pricing and budgeting.