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Thanks for bringing this up to the hive! My MOH lives on the opposite side of the country so I try to keep her involved in all of my big decisions and she has a link to my blog which I update pretty frequently.
I'm now going to make it a point to keep her in the loop!
THANKS :)
I think brides are far too scattered a lot of the time to keep people in the loop. It's probably good to rely on a mom or MOH to disseminate info. I found out all of my pertinent info (down to where/when to order a dress) from the bride's mom for the last wedding I was (out of town). I sent out an introductory e-mail and contact sheet to our entire wedding party, and I'm kind of treating our MOH and best man as producers of the whole thing. I figure I can get the pertinent info to them and let them get that info out to the rest of the party. Good thing we picked some organized people to be in our party!
I do so much via email to keep everyone in the loop. Thankfully, the brides in the weddings I've been in, have all been really good about communicating. It is hard though, if you're coming from so far away and don't know what's going on. But we all knows brides can get SUPER stressed, so I'm sure it was totally unintentional.
I email my bridesmaids regularly to keep them in the loop. When it comes time for the actual weekend, I'll email them an itinerary-type thing and I'm also going to make those little pocket schedules :o)
Yeah, I'm across the country and most of the brides are out of state of where the wedding will be held.
I was a bridesmaid before and I felt like I didn't know what was going on... so for me, I try to tell my bridesmaids everything... through facebook.
Although, I think I might be telling them too much. They might be a little burnt out. But I want them to have input or ideas in things I am planning for the wedding.
What annoys me recently, is I ask them a question and no one responds. WTH? That's probably why I think they are sick of me talking about the wedding. (I am 4 weeks from the wedding.)
We send out a Wedding Party Newsletter every couple of months to keep people informed. I also rely on my Mom, the motormouth, to spread the word about things as they come up. My MOH and I are currently putting together a spreadsheet with the schedule of the weekend including who needs to be where, when and how they're getting there. It also has all the VIP phone numbers. Whenever we finish it, I'll post it under DIY if anyone needs a template.
i agree with this. i'm in a wedding coming up and i'm just keeping a few days before open just in case. i haven't heard about a rehearsal dinner, but i'm assuming there will be one, so my calendar is open. and the bride doesn't respond to my emails, so there's no way for me to find out info. oh well. at least i'm learning for my wedding.
I definitely rely on email a lot to keep in touch with all my bridesmaids at once. We're going to have a schedule of events on our website so everyone knows what's going on, but I will also email them a copy to be sure they know exactly what events are happening that they should plan for! Plus their copies will have all the important info Mrs. Dee to Bee mentioned, like VIP phone numbers and how they can get from place to place, where everyone is staying, etc.
Keeping my bridal party in the loop is actually something very important to me. I say that now, with 11 months to go, so we'll see how things turn out. I was in 3 wedding this year alone and had my feeling badly hurt in 2 of those. To the point where I was standing in the airport on my way back home, crying, the day after the weddings.
Almost my entire bridal party is long distance, as is most of our family. I want people to feel welcome, appreciated and acknowledged that they spent the money and took the time to come out for our wedding. I know things get crazy and stressful, but the last thing I want is for people to have their feelings hurt or people (ESPECIALLY a bridesmaid/MOH) to feel taken advantage of or not appreciated.
It's an awful feeling to be a MOH, spend well over a thousand dollars for plane tickets, hotels, showers, bachelorette parties, gifts, dresses, shoes, etc... and not even get a thank you. No one should feel like that.
So yeah, having our wedding party feel "in the know" is really important to me.
Question for you all... what about the groomsmen? How much should they know? I'm thinking that guys don't really care about the details, they just need to know where they should be. I don't know if I want to overwhelm them with all of the details.
Thanks for the responses everyone!
@shesgotchutzpah - it sucks to feel that way! I am sorry you had such a bad experience :( Especially when you spend big bucks to be a part of someone's day! My bridal party and family are all long distance with the exception of my MOH. So I made a wedding website to keep everyone updated with plans, and do lots of communicating through either Facebook or email.
@yrret107 - I think groomsmen still need to know what the plans are with regards to any specific events they need to be present for, like you said. I suppose in terms of "in the know" all I meant was a specific timeline of events that I need people to be there for or plan in advance for, like rehearsals, day of, etc. Other stuff is a "nice to know", but probably not necessary.
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding that was like pulling teeth to get info about. The bride was pretty good, but when it came to bachelorette stuff, or joint shower gifts? The MOH flat-out sucked at keeping me in the loop. I am now e-mailzilla letting everyone know everything. It gets tricky since my sis/MOH lives about 2000 miles away, plus I have 2 other out of state bridesmaids and 1 in Europe! I told my sister to make sure she keeps the girls informed so no one feels left out.
I don't have a lot of experiences as a bridesmaid, but as a bride I'm trying to strike that balance of giving out important information without overwhelming anyone. My MOH is on the opposite coast but is very in the loop just by the nature of our relationship and I only have 1 bridesmaid who is also across the country who sometimes I feel like maybe I haven't quite kept in the loop enough. Last week, about a month before my wedding day, I sent out a bridal party email introducing everyone (BMs and groomsmen) and giving them the full day before and day of schedule. Of course, the girls read it and responded and the boys...didn't.
Someone else said this on another post which I think I agree with - you can send information/schedules etc., but that doesn't always mean people will read and retain it. I think at some point close to the wedding it's a good idea to get everyone together and run through it in person. But at least with sending the information, they can't say you didn't try to inform them!
I have a facebook group-they just don't all check it all the time, so I try to txt them all. I'd really like to do a newsletter for the girls & guys so they all get info about things coming up.
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Hi Bees,
I don't know why, but I was randomly thinking about this today. I have been in two weddings that I lived very far away from, and hence had to buy a plane ticket and fly in for. I was the MOH in both of them. I found myself surprised that I received very little information about the day-of events for each of them. Now I partially attribute this to the fact that I lived so far away. But sometimes I felt like I had to hassle the bride to find out what the heck was going on. One bride was irked that I didn't go to the gift-opening brunch, but I didn't even know it was happening until the RECEPTION at her wedding, and at that point I had made plans to spend some time with my family (the wedding was in my hometown and I only get to go home once per year, maybe twice, due to flight costs).
Anyone else feel like they had no idea what was going on for a wedding you were a part of? I am planning my own wedding now, and my bridesmaid all live far away, so I am trying to be really concientious and keep them in the loop. Just curious what other bees experiences have been.
By the way, I love my friends regardless :)