Post # 1
One of the first things my fiance and I decided about our wedding is that it’s not going to be child-friendly. Our friends like to drink and party, and our youngest guest will be my 15-year-old niece. And then, we found out that my bridesman’s wife is pregnant and due to have their second child next month, making the little one 4 months old at the time of our wedding.
Their older son is 5 and will do perfectly well staying with grandma for the weekend. (They’re traveling from MN to PA for the wedding.) However, there’s no realistic way for his wife to attend if she has to leave the infant in MN. I don’t feel right telling someone in our wedding party to leave their spouse at home (and I really like his wife and want to see her!). However, my fiance is worried that if we allow an infant to attend, it will open the floodgates for other people to complain about their children not being invited.
Personally, I see a strong difference between “no children” and “no children including infants”. With infants, they’re basically attached to their mom and highly unlikely to run around, getting into trouble. And with the child in question, if he gets at all finicky, his mom is more than intelligent enough to take him aside and soothe him.
Help. What should I do?
Post # 3
Definitely let him come, it’s at your discretion! Furthermore, I doubt anyone will bat an eye unless the infant is crying and I’m sure it’ll be sleeping most of the time anyways.
Post # 4
If you’re okay with him being there, then let him come it’s your wedding and you get to decide who can come, otherwise, why don’t you talk to your friend about your policy. They may have another idea.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I vote let him come! Most people won’t care since he is an infant. If there are any people that care, I feel like that’s not a big deal. You’re doing what’s best for that family, and the other people can just get over it. 🙂
Post # 6
Definitely let him come…4 month old infants are usually working through the sitting up stage, let along crawl. He’s basically an appendage to his mother, & she’ll be leaving periodically (with or without him) if she’s breast feeding in order to pump or feed. Just make sure to reserve her a seat near an exit if he gets fussy or unwelcomely noisy & make sure that your venue has a place for her to feed & change him where it will be least obstructive to the rest of the guests.
Especially let him come if you like his mom & want her to show up.
Post # 7
tiny quiet little babies are ok – now, it’s the 2-10 year olds that you should watch out for. they’re sneaky!
Post # 8
I voted to let him come. We are also having a child-free wedding (no one under 20). But if a close friend needed to bring an infant or not go, I’d much rather her bring the infant. It won’t be any additional cost to you, and she’ll probably end up leaving early anyways. I think the other parents should know the difference between a 5 year old child and a breastfeeding (or otherwise) infant.
Post # 9
I’d definitely let him come. It’s unreasonable, even at a kid free wedding, to expect new moms to leave their infants home. Especially if it is out of town. I’m sure they’ll be grateful for your understanding, and will be considerate if the baby is crying during the ceremony.
Post # 10
We are doing a no kids wedding. We will have the flower girls and ring bearers… and allow nursing infants…. ONLY! Not toddlers, just nursing infants.
Infants realistically CANT be left alone. Sure, you can pump or what not, but the only real infants that will be around will be 1st babies.. lol. I do not expect a mother who needs to pump or feed for her own comfort to NOT bring their baby.
If anyone has an issue with that, they can take it up with me! 🙂
In fact, we just found out that one of FI’s friends (barely missed the Groomsmen cut 🙂 and his wife are pregnant! They had a miscarriage about a year ago and it’s been really hard on them, but they took a trip to St. Lucia to get their relationship back.. and well… Baby came with! They are due 1 month before our wedding! We can’t wait to have their baby there.
Post # 11
Parents are the ones who know best the difference between a kid and an infant. They should understand. And you’re already drawing a line between kid and teenager, so it makes sense to further delineate and allow infants. People who complain at that will be complaining at anything you do, even if you allow their kids (oh, Jimmy’s so bored, you didn’t provide the right toys, etc). What I am going to do is mention to the few parents that are coming that “I’m glad I don’t even have to worry about you letting your kid disrupt the ceremony, I’m lucky to have such considerate friends” or something like that.