Kid-free wedding, but guests who travel get to bring kids, right?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s whatever you want. It’s totally fine if you only want relatives’ kids at your wedding. I only had my nieces and nephews and OOT kids at my wedding and it was still a small amount (12 including my 3 kids).

Post # 4
716 posts
Busy bee

Invite them if you want and address it to the parents.  If they decide to go the wedding, let them figure out what to do with their daughter.  They aren’t your invites, they’re your FMIL’s so don’t stress about it.

Post # 5
6671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If it were an infant yes.  But a 12 year old would probably rather stay the night at a friend’s house than go to your wedding.

Post # 6
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LadyMoriarty:  The only kids that “get” to be at your wedding are the ones you *want* at your wedding, traveling or not. Like PP said, this is your FMIL invite, so just address it to both adults.


Post # 7
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We are dealing with the same issue. our wedding is mostly a destination wedding but I don’t want children at our wedding. The compromise is to provide child care for the ceremony and perhaps through the reception. Folks can bring their kids but kids don’t have to be at the actual wedding.


ps- stupid WB on iPhone. They really need to fix the autocorrect.

Post # 8
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would think a 12 year old could stay with a friend for the weekend.  I’m going to set up babysitting at my wedding so everyone can bring their kids but the kids aren’t at the reception.  Not sure if that’s in your budget/there is space at your venue for that, though.

Post # 11
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The problem with child-free weddings (and I’m not criticising anyone who chooses to have one) is that grief almost always accompanies the slightest hint of inconsistency in whatever rules have been decided. So for sure, people flying in from out of town with younger children is a clear rule. In this case, you can probably get away with the 12 year old attending because actually, this family are covered by your rule. Also, a 12 year old is old enough to behave well and won’t need to be treated like a child.

But if you really don’t want her there then send the invitation out only to the couple and see what happens. I’d have thought most 12 year olds would hate to be dragged miles and miles from home to attend the wedding of complete strangers. 

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