- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
I’m wondering if you’d give me a little feedback on a sticky situation. My fiance and I are both in strong agreement that we want an adult only ceremony and reception, with the exception of his ten year old nephew, who will be in the wedding party.
His brother, who will be the BM, has another child in addition to the ten year old daughter: a little guy who will be just over twelve months by the wedding.
Both the fiance and I aren’t crazy about having a one year-old at the wedding. It’s a super squirmy, fussy age, and totally unpredictable. We’re also having a very small, intimate ceremony outdoors, so there isn’t really the factor of taking the kid to the back of the church or “outside.” There’s nowhere to go if he starts fussing. I should mention that we’re also having an evening ceremony (6:30 ish), so there’s a good chance that he could be super cranky.
But the brother’s family are coming from out of town, and the SIL doesn’t have any family where they live. There’s no one to leave him with for the weekend, barring her family coming in from out of town for a visit. I’m sure they’d relish an excuse to come babysit for the weekend, but that’s obviously asking a ton of other people and schedules!
We’re considering asking the brother and SIL how they would feel about a qualified nanny taking the nephew for a few hours back at the hotel, but we’re hesitant. The nephew is often in nanny/day care at home, but this is someone they don’t know. We don’t want to upset MIL and FIL. But we are also concerned about our short ceremony being compromised by a screaming toddler. I know, I know, it happens, and you’re supposed to laugh through it. But what if you just don’t want that?
The brother and SIL could be down with it, or they could really not be. We have to just ask, but we’re worried about opening a can of worms.
What are your thoughts? Is proposing a nanny reasonable? I know a lot of you ladies are also into adult only weddings, and it’s always a sticky situation, but it’s so much more complicated when it’s the child of an immediate family member and not some cousin you haven’t spoken to in ten years!