Post # 1
Hi bees, I have a very large family and while I want certain family members to bring their kids there are other less responsible family members whos kids are reckless and over all just annoying, not to mention those parents DO NOT WATCH their kids and let them run wild. this puts me in a very sensitive position and I’m not familiar with wedding etiquette HELP ( the parents who dont watch their kids also have around 3-5 kids each)
Post # 2
I would say if you invite one couples’ children, you have to invite the other couples’ children. IF however the children of each couple are such differing ages (I have a 10-year-old and 14-year-old son and daughter of our best man and matron of honor coming, and they’re well behaved). My cousins all have younger children, but they’re well behaved too. If they weren’t, I would just keep it to our 10 and 14 year old.
I have family members with babies, and I will leave it up to them if they want to bring the baby. I will not make a mother get a babysitter out of state for her child, or force one parent to stay at a hotel with the baby. That’s just not cool. I don’t want them to cry in my ceremony, but I also don’t want to be callous.
If they make arrangements and choose to leave their children behind, that’s up to them.
Post # 3
LovingIovine: Personally I am not a fan of children at weddings. Evening receptions that go until 10 or 11pm really have no place for children. I am also not a fan of being sat at a table with children during a wedding. I have been to too many weddings where children are either bored, throwing a tantrum, or running around on the dancefloor. My feeling is that you cannot say yes to some family and no to others. If you do invite some children and not others, be prepared to hear some complaining at your wedding because you will most likely be confronted on this issue.
Post # 4
Hire a couple of babysitters to be in charge of keeping the kids entertained during the reception.
Post # 5
I think the only way you can get away with having some kids there and not others, is an exception for a flower girl or ring bearer who is actually playing a role in your wedding.
If your heart is set on having some of your family’s kids there, then I think you need to open it to all your family… maybe hire child care workers who work in a side room in your venue to entertain kids? (Movies, crafts etc. that are being taken care of by hired staff)
Post # 6
Do you have room in your budget to provide babysitting services? I’ve always thought that was a great idea for everyone, the parents get to relax, the kids are entertained, and you have someone(s) responsible to keep an eye on the young folk.
Post # 7
I’m hiring one or two babysitters to watch the kids in a separate area that is right next to the reception. They’ll have toys, coloring books, etc. to play with. Most of my relatives will want to bring their kids, but I don’t want them to have to watch their kids all night and not be able to dance and have fun. This way they can bring their kids and be with them if they want, but they can also have a semi kid-free night.
Post # 8
We will be having upwards of 25 children (75 adults) ranging from 1 – 14. At this point I have to deal with the fact his family has a lot of kids (20), and I cant say to no to some and yes to others. But believe me I will not be happy if a child starts screaming during the cermony and the parent doesnt take them away. Also, if I see the parents partying it up and not watching their screaming kids I will say something. I’m not providing a babysitter, I am footing the bill for everything else why would I pay someone to watch their children for them? They choose to have them and choose to bring them.
Post # 9
its your wedding I say do what you want. I am having adults only at our wedding (21+) and some family isn’t happy but oh well. I HATE dealing with children at receptions. They run around, knock things over, take over the dance floor, throw temper tantrums, etc. Even being 21+ I have decided to invite some older cousins while not inviting others even if they’re siblings. The ones not invited have a long running history of alcohol issues and have ruined past family events when there is alcohol available. Ive been honest about it to them when asked.
Post # 10
I have an abnormally large family 19 aunts and uncles on my moms side each uncle or aunt has around 6 kids ( average) then they have kids ( around 30 years-45 years) and then they have kids ( who are my age, 20-26) then they have kids ( who are 0-5) that’s not even including my dads side or my fiances family. I’m not close to all of them, but the ones I am close too have kids who are horrible. Maybe setting a time that kids have to leave by would be best like after dinner and cake cutting so we can party and not have to worry about stepping on someones rugrat?
Post # 11
You should only invite people (adults and children) who you want there. I don’t believe inviting one kid means you must I invite all. Same way I don’t think every person from each group say aunts and uncles or first cousins must be invited. Just be prepared to set the record straight if you pick and choose.
Post # 12
LovingIovine: As others have mentioned, I think you should invite the adults and children you want at your wedding. Children are no different than adults and they’re guests you can choose to have attend your special day.
Post # 13
I would either A-hire a few babysitters and designate a place for children to be, or B-not invite any children who are not actually in the wedding.
Post # 14
The babysitter idea is great! Maybe a few local college kids could keep the kids for a few hours. I anticipate having quite a few kids at my wedding, but it will be very backyard bbq style so not as formal. But I do plan on having things for the kids to do. Games, coloring, bubbles etc for the reception so they have something to keep them entertained as well.
Post # 15
LovingIovine: I would just do a no kid wedding. I personally think you either have to invite all children or no children- believe me people will be upset if you let one aunt bring her kids and another one not-
If you know the parents wont watch their kids, best believe they probably wont surprise you and be parent of the year at your wedding. Children, especially in high numbers tend to take over events, and they likely won’t be minded by their parents ( if they are like you say)
If you are hell bent on having the kids there, invite all of them but have a kids-only area with a sitter or two. Otherwise you might have a horde of kids running amuck during your reception.