Post # 1
We have a kids meal option for our wedding for the few children we are having at the wedding. The option is chicken fingers with mac and cheese and a vegetable. What kid doesn’t eat that kind of food? Well my fiances dad is remarried and has two younger boys one of which they RSVP’d for with the beef adult option! I’m sorry but paying $30 vs $10 is a big difference and for a 10 year old I think a kids meal is just fine.Ultimately I am just going to order him a kids meal.
Am I in the wrong for being upset about this and just ordering the kids meal? What would you guys do?
Post # 3
A 10 year old wanting an adult beef meal option at $30 a pop? Is your fiance’s dad going to pay the $20 difference? LOL
Post # 4
@happyface: Haha thats what I was thinking deep down!
Post # 5
Was the kid’s meal option on the rsvp card? If not, they might have assumed there isn’t one?
Post # 6
Yes its on the RSVP because the other brother is getting a kids meal.
Post # 7
Depends, do you have any healthy options, and are the chicken fingers processed? My brother and sis in law don’t let their kids eat the typical processed kid food.
Post # 8
I’m not an etiquette expert, however, I will still offer my humble opinion. If you listed on the RSVP’s there was a kids option, I think it’s pretty presumptuous to RSVP for beef for a 10 year old. However, if you did not, don’t get angry. If you’ve been going through anything similar to me, you’ll have plenty of time for that. I would simply call and say, “I noticed you ordered beef for (name of child goes here), however we decided early on that any child under the age of __ will automatically be receiving the kids meal options. I just didn’t want any surprises. Thank you for understanding.”
If you decide to just order without addressing the issue, my fear is that it can possibly cause unnecessary tension. Her intentions may not have been anything but innocent. Give her the benefit of the doubt – make the call – and don’t feel bad for your decision.
The one thing I’m realizing is how so many people feel entitled to help “plan” your wedding. They want the bride to be on her best behavior but they can do and say whatever they want. Since my invitations have gone out, I’ve had to correct many people and hurt a few feelings along the way. My FI and I decided we would not do plus 1’s for our co-workers due to the size of our venue and our budget. I still checked the etiquette on this rule, which says if you are inviting more than 4 or 5, plus 1’s aren’t necessary. I actually had a co-worker who received an invite to say…Did I tell you that I was going to be coming alone because you put 1 for me? I was floored and had to tell him – No, you didn’t but I put one because that was what I wanted! He wanted to bring a girlfriend he just started dating.
I can go and on about the intense pressure you receive from all sides during the planning phase, however, you almost have to brush it off and move on to the next dilemma.
Post # 9
I would definitely just switch his to a kids meal and not even say anything. When he sees all of the other kids getting kids meal, I’m sure he’ll figure it out.
Post # 10
OMG this exact thing happened to me. My sister (who wanted two dinners for herself as well) insisted that her 5 year old have a $95 prime rib dinner over the $25 kiddie steak skewer and vegetable option. I told her F no! It’s the same darn thing basically and there is no way a kid would eat that much food anyway…annoying. Like I would really pay $285 for her and her kid to eat…please!!!! We don’t have very many guest but that would be an unfair exception to make.
Post # 11
I would simply let her know that children under the age of XX are being ordered the childrens meal. You can also ask if there is a specific reason he is not getting the kids meal.
Post # 12
I’m obviously the minority, but I probably would just let him have the beef entree.. $20 isn’t worth having an awkward conversation with my future inlaws. A $95 meal maybe…but not $30.
Post # 13
I would check on the reason he didn’t pick kids meal. It could be he is sensitive to gluten or something in the breading on the chicken tenders or the diary in the mac and cheese etc. It could also be that his family feels like 10 is old enough to be eating regular meals. Restaurant kids menus usually cut off at 10 or 12 years old, so he kind of is in that gray area.
Post # 14
I agree you might check WHY the kid is getting that meal, an allergy or something could be there. But honestly, if I were 10 my choice would have been beef over mac and cheese and chicken tenders 100%, I’ve always liked red meat better. Unless you specificilly stated on the meal choice card “Kids under xx will be given the children’s menu” then honestly I would have thought there were options for the kid too, either they CAN eat the adult meals, or if they won’t, there is a kid friendly OPTION for them.
Post # 15
I hate to say it OP, but you’re completely in the wrong here for getting upset about this. Even more in the wrong if you go ahead and order this kid a kids meal. Most of the 10 year olds I know are not eating kids meals, they’re eating off the grown up menu. Heck, my 9 year old eats off the grown up menu. If I’d have recieved a response card like yours in the mail, I bet my daughter would have chosen the steak option too and it wouldn’t have even occured to me you might have a problem with that. First of all, your kids option might not be enough food for this kid. Second of all he might not like chicken nuggets or mac an cheese, I didn’t when I was a kid. Now, if you had a kids menu with more than one choice, AND explained that kids under xx age would be getting a kids meal (so choose one of two kids options) then it would have been acceptable for you to get upset when kids pick a grown up meal because there was more than one kids option. Even with that though, a 10 year old is in the grey area and you should treat him as an adult when it comes to his food selection. Seriously, don’t order this kid a kids meal. That’s insulting to him, his parents, and your intellegence.
If $30 is really going to break your bank (which I doubt given your prices for meals) then you should call the parents and explain your mistake. Tell them that you foolishly only budgeted $10 per meal for children and foolishly assumed a 10 year old would choose the ONLY kid’s option. Ask them if their son would mind terribly having the chicken fingers instead and apologize profusely at your mistake. If they say their child doesn’t like that or it won’t be enough food, then let it go and accept the fact that you’re paying the same ammount for this kid as you are for any other guest. At the very least, you should have offered two kids options or assumed that some of the kids would choose an adult option. Especially the older kids. Most 10 year olds I know don’t want to be labeled as little kids, and part of that is not ordering off the kids menu. I would bet money that both this 10 year old and also his parents would think it was strange of him to eat off the kids menu. I would think it was strange for my 9 year old to eat off the kids menu unless there was a really cool toy or her favorite food, and I would be insulted if you went ahead and ordered her the kids meal even though our response card said otherwise. If you explained the cost issue, I would still think you were rude, but I would be slightly more understanding.
The idea of having a kids option is a good idea, but only if you give them at least two options and also make it clear that all kids under x age (I would suggest 8 since anything above that really is up to the kid) will be getting the kids choice. Kids are your guests too, and should be treated accordingly.
TL;DR: Let the 10 year old keep the steak option. It’s rude of you to expect that a child that age would do otherwise.
ETA: I bet when most parents saw the kids meal option and saw what the food choice was for the kids option, they assumed it was an option meant for kids 5 and under. That’s what I would have thought given the fact that it’s all stuff that a kid without very many teeth (or the ability to eat politely) can eat. I would have thought that option was for kids in the 1-5 age range and it never would have occured to me that you expected it to be for older kids too.
Post # 16
I would say to check with the parents to find out why he ordered that meal. As a few other posters said, it could be due to an allergy/intolerance, or maybe he just truly hates chicken fingers lol. Once you find out why, then decide from there if you want to fight the battle. How old is the kid, too? It could be that the parents thought that the kids meal was for the super little ones.