- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
It's totally okay to not invite kids, even if you are allowing those in the wedding party to attend the reception. I would put something like "adult reception to follow" and get it out by word of mouth as well that kids are not invited.
There might be some stress around it though. Some people will still ask, or still RSVP including their kids, so there might be some followup needed on your part, or by your parents/in laws to let those guests no there are no kids allowed. If you decide no kids, be prepared to stand your ground!
We are not having any children at ours. The youngest will be the FH's son at 13. We wanted an adult party so that's what we are doing. There is nothing wrong with not wanting them.
It's not that I don't like kids, I have 2 of my own but I would just prefer to not have a ton of them running around. In the bridal party, 3 of my bridesmaids have kids, one has 3 of them and her boys are not the most well behaved children. I plan on just letting the wedding party bring their kids but don't plan on including it on anyone else's invites. We have a groomsman (FI cousin) who has a girlfriend with 2 very well behaved kids.
If people see other kids there, will they be offended? I just would like to limit kids to that of the wedding party only and the members of the wedding can bring theirs but I may politely say that we aren't expecting alot of kids.
I just feel like I am being a huge kid-hating wench and I am not, I just don't want a bunch of them there. I quickly looked thru our list and if we invite everyone and their children we will have over 60 kids! If I wanted that many we would be having our reception at Chucky Cheese!
It's your choice who you invite to your wedding, including children. But you are asking for headaches once you slice and dice kids--ie, these kids but not those kids. There is an exception for kids who are part of the ceremony, but in general, it's going to be a lot easier on you if you establish hard and fast lines--no kids under 18 or no kids except those in the ceremony--"no kids but those in the ceremony plus my nephew" is going to be a harder sell. But if you're prepared to deal with the consequences, then go ahead.
If you are okay wtih the likelihood you'll have to make some awkward phone calls for the inevitable consternation from parents who RSVP their kids, then go ahead and just write the parents' name on the invitation and RSVP card (if you fill them in). I don't think there's a need to write "adults only" or "no kids" on the invite--in that case, you run the risk of offending far more people than you do preventing the 1 or 2 that would even consider bringing children.
I just had this "discussion" with my mother last night. I personally don't want kids at my wedding. I'm only having my nieces and nephews there. My mom wants to invite every child that she's ever met. This would lead to a lot more people that I want at my reception. I love kids but don't want them there. Will I piss some people off? Absolutely!!! But you can never make everyone happy. A coworker just gave me some great advice today. She said it's my and my FH's wedding and to make sure that we're happy with it.
I honestly don't understand some parents who refuse to be separated from their children for one night. I'm not saying all parents who want to bring their kids are like this but I know many who are. . . including my sister in law.
I am trying to think of a nice way to put it on the RSVP card. I thought about doing the: We have reserved #__ of seats for you, will you be attending? on the RSVP. And then just write in the adults.
And the only reason I would be letting my nephew be there is because my brother is in the wedding and his mom is basically out the picture and he is slightly autistic and is actually very well behaved. My parents will be busy with the wedding so my brother doesn't have anyone else to watch him. Brother doesn't have a lot of friends and he and I aren't even that close. I didn't really want him in the wedding but was guilt tripped by parents to have him in there.
@mrskisstobe: that's the common way to do it: write "we have reserved X seats" in your honor and put the number of adults.
You don't have to explain why you want your nephew there to ME, but just understand that to others, they won't really care if there's a reason--they'll just see a kid and think back to the fact you didn't invite their kids. I'm just alerting you to the fact. And also be prepared that some people will decline because you aren't allowing their kids, just fyi.
In other words, justifying WHY you don't want kids is irrelevant. It's just about how you plan on dealing with any fallout from your decision.
I don't mind taking my girls to a family members wedding but they always end up getting cranky and irritating that I think they would have a lot more fun staying with grandma and grandpa on the farm and playing then sitting at the table.
I know some people will be pissed off but oh well, I figure they will get over it or they won't.
I know some people will get mad, but I just really don't want a ton of kids. I think if we limit it to the children of the wedding party members then people should understand. If not, oh well. I just have to realize that I can't please everyone. Nor will I try.
I think it is perfectly fine to have an adult wedding! It is your day and as a mother you alwys feel obligated to watch other peoples kids(it is the nature of being a mom). If people get upset then they get upset.
So I had a long discussion with my mother last night and one of my bridesmaids. My mom completely agrees with me on limiting the amount of kids. Her and my dad never took us kids to wedding when we were little so she doesn't understand why it's an issue. I told her that if we let everyone we invite bring their children then we would have well over 60 kids there. I would be ok with it, if we didn't have to pay per person. If the reception site said kids under 4 are free then I would be ok with inviting them all. I did manage to wrangle a deal with the caterer for half price for kids but that is still $9 a kid and what kid is going to eat that much. I may just have to suck it up and invite them. FI wants me to write on the RSVP card:
We have reserved #___ of seats in your name.
We will be attending_____
We will not be attending_____
And then just write in 2 for the adults. And if they write in their kids, I probably won't say anything unless we get close to a whole gaggle of children.
I do plan on not including small children in the final head count to the caterer, especially because I remember how much my little ones ate when they were under 4. Plus the caterer makes a pretty decent amount of food, and told me that if I say that I will have 250 people there, then there will be enough for everyone to go thru at least twice.
So I am still stressed and really needing a VERY large bottle of wine right now. Liquid lunch it is! And whoever said wedding planning was fun, is seriously disturbed!
it sounds like you have a good plan there. just don't let it get out of control with people crossing out there alloted number of seats and adding in their kids. we're doing adults only except for FI's brother who will be 12, plus we are allowing him to bring one of his cousins so he'll have someone to hang out with. they are both very mature for their age so i'm not worried about them, but the thought of a dozen or so kids running around just doesn't appeal to me. my parents never brought us to wedding either - i went to my first wedding when i was 18 - so i think this is totally normal. i would seriously rather someone not give me a gift and use that money to pay for a babysitter for the night.
I am hoping we don't have a ton of kids running around because the day will be stressful enough without hearing 60+ kids screaming and running around--Ughh...migraine waiting to happen.
I plan on writing in the # of adults with a sharpie, so I hope that gives a hint and that the kids' names aren't on the invites. I feel awful about inviting some and not others but I can't please everyone.
EH; this is DEF. a touchy subject! me "personally" am allowing children at both my ceremony and reception! but i do understand how you may feel! but i also know as a mother that if you choose not to invite children some parents may get thier feelings hurt!! and may EVEN end up not comming at all!!! wether its because thier feelings got hurt..or they dont haave a baby sitter. cutting children out of your wedding will DEF. cut the people who show up.
I'm having a small wedding of about 90 so we had to limit the amount of kids or we would have gone over capacity. What we ended up doing was a few things. First, we hired an event nanny service. Next, we called a few parents and let them know what was going on; our venue is tiny and we're wondering if they'd be okay with leaving their kids at home. All of them were once we explained our reasoning (you can use whatever you'd like! "we want a more adult atmosphere", etc.) Last, we actually printed the invited adults name on the response card. It's worked pretty well!
I am not going to hire a sitter or a nanny or anything mainly because I wouldn't expect someone to do it for me if my kids weren't invited. The majority of our friends live in the same town we are having the reception and ceremony at and have had to have sitters before for their kids, so this shouldn't be a huge deal in finding a sitter. I plan on sending out the invites in February and having the RSVP by the 15th of March so that should give plenty of time for someone to find a sitter for our May wedding.
I understand that some people would be offended if I don't want their kids there but we aren't doing it to be rude or mean. I don't want a crap ton of kids there because the way I see it, it's not a free for all and some of the kids who we dont want coming, their parents do not watch them. I don't want a bunch of little kids running around. If we had just a handful then I would invite them all, but we would have 60+ kids if we invited them all.
I actually look forward to going places and not having to take my kids sometimes. It doesn't make me a bad mom, I just enjoy adult conversation without having someone interrupt me a hundred times or being under foot constantly.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 32 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| This Time Round | 30 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| andielovesj | 5 |
| DeeVine1217 | 5 |
| beargoose | 4 |
| AshleyR83 | 4 |
| fishbone | 4 |
 Jamcnair |
3 |
| his chippymunk | 3 |
| ana77 | 3 |
| mightywombat | 2 |
| dkeller30 |
2 |
Ok, so we are about 7 months out now from the wedding and finalizing our guest list and the wording for the RSVP cards.
My dilemma is this. I am having my daughters in the wedding and my best friend's daughter as the flower girl. I am ok with having a few kids at the wedding, like my girls, my nephew and the wedding party's kids. Fine. But, we have several friends with 2 or more children. Is it ok to not put & family on their invites and just put # of adults on the RSVP?
And I know this is going to sound AWFUL and I don't mean it to be but I have an issue with kids at a reception running around on the dance floor acting like fools. It's not the little little ones, because they are just cute. It's the ones who know better and just act up that annoy me. I hate it when they slide on the floor and all that stuff like its a playground and the parents allow it to happen. I have a fear that my 85 year old grandma will get slammed into by one of these kids.
Is this wrong or should I just suck it up and put & family. FI does not want any kids there other than the 3 in the wedding and my nephew.