Kids or no kids…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee

if you dont want kids- dont invite kids! I’ve been to quite a few weddings in the past year. half had kids, half didnt. we had SO MUCH MORE FUN at the ones with no kids. the ceremonies were better, the music was better. Go with your initial plan. You cant make EVERYONE happy- just make sure you and your FI are happy!

Post # 3
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

My daughter had no kids at her wedding.  And she meant no flower girls, no ring bearer, no kids at all.  There was almost drama with one SIL until she realized she was not going to get her way.  That said, because it is a holiday weekend, I think it will be very hard to have people come from out of town without their children.  Like you said, a holiday will keep some people from being able to come anyway, then add no kids on top of that.  Any other weekend, maybe.  Holiday weekend, no.

 

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think anyone will be offended if you say “no kids” in this circumstance. If you don’t wish children, don’t have them. Kids are great but they do make for a different tone at a wedding especially if you have 30 of them wandering about.

But also, guests don’t NEED to come if the circumstance doesn’t work out for them. The important people like parents, siblings, immediate family will be more than happy to figure out childcare

Post # 5
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

To ellaborate on my above comment: that being said, don’t be surprised if more people turn down the invite than you would have otherwise anticipated. Which is fine for some people, not for others. Compeltely up to you and your fiance

Post # 6
Member
744 posts
Busy bee

While I support the decision to not invite kids to a wedding, I think in this case you may find yourself very disappointed in the low guest turnout.  While many people would be fine leaving their kids at home for certain holiday weekends (Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc.) I would assume very, very few people would do so for Thanksgiving.  They can travel after Thanksgiving, but I think many people consider it a family weekend.

Again, it’s your wedding and you really can do whatever you want, but if you will be sad with a very low turnout, I would strongly reconsider Thanksgiving weekend with such a high proportion of traveling guests, and especially if you exclude kids.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  goblueca.
Post # 7
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If it’s really important to you for everybody to be able to be there, would you be able to hire a babysitter to watch the kids during the reception? Then you get the attendance you want and the no-kids reception. I’m not saying you should feel obligated to provide childcare, but it might make it easier for people to come.

Post # 8
Member
7275 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m totally for no-kids weddings, but I think you’re going to have a low guest turn out. Most people are either going to already be traveling to visit family at that time, or desperately avoiding travel.

Post # 9
Member
2654 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

liza8402:  We are hiring a babysitter for only our CLOSE family members and friend .. we have a weddingof about 75 and there wouldbe been like 25 kids..

If hiring a babysitter isn’t an option then there really isn’t many suggestions other than prepare for people to say no…

Post # 10
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I do not think a Thanksgiving Saturday wedding is any different than a non-holiday Saturday wedding when it comes to n kids. Either way the kids are not in school. What is different is that people travel during Thanksgiving and you may have declines because they are already committed elsewhere or travel to that place for Thursday’s dinner and then to your wedding is cost prohibitive. 

Post # 11
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

If 80% of your guests have to fly in, and you are saying no kids, I think you are going to have a very low guest turnout. That’s not because your guests are trying to be mean, but it’s just not realistic or practical for them to leave their children at home. I have close family who would not have been physically able to attend my wedding if I had said no kids. That’s not because I’m not important to them… that’s because a no kids decision would have made it logistically impossible.

Post # 12
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

honestly, I think that’s asking too much of your guests – they have to fly in AND it’s a holiday weekend AND they can’t bring their kids. For some it’ll be fine, of course. It’s hard to say without knowing exactly who’s on your guest list. If the only folks with kids are people who aren’t that likely to come anyway, then it’s not that big of a deal. But if a good number of people have to fly in, are having their holiday weekends interrupted, and will have childcare issues, then it’s not fair to them.

Post # 13
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club

I think not allowing kids during the Thanksgiving weekend would limit the number of guests attending because the friends and family that would normally help with child care may be out of town or entertaining other out of town guests. 

I also think you will greatly reduce your attendance by having your wedding thanksgiving weekend, especially if many of your guests are coming from out of town. You will have people decline solely because you said no kids, because it’s a holiday weekend, and because travel is typically more hectic and expensive that weekend. If you’re ok with low attendance then I say stick to your guns and say no kids. But I don’t have kids and would still decline a thanksgiving weakened OOT wedding.

Post # 14
Member
6753 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with many PP. I would think you would have a much higher decline rate because of the holiday weekend. For example, normally I might ask my SIL to watch my kids if we had to go away for a weekend wedding- but I would not do it on a holiday weekend- she has too many other commitments. If you are ok with that, then it’s no problem- but is hate for you to be dissapointed!

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