Kids or No Kids at a Bridal Shower?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Hostess
9908 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Vsmart:  I’ve seen it both ways, it really depends on the kids.  Infants I don’t see issue with either way, infants pretty much go where mom goes especially if they’re nursing.  Toddlers and kids under 7 or 8 often don’t have the attention span for a shower. 

I think it really depends on the feel of the shower and the kids in question – there’s no straight answer.

Post # 3
Member
7084 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the infants and older girls are fine, but I think chasing after a toddler or slightly older child would really get old for the mom. It really depends on the crowd though.

Post # 4
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Vsmart:  I had my bridesmaid and cousin who is 16 attend but that’s about as close as I got. No kids went to mine.

Post # 5
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Breastfeeding infants yes, other children no. Though I was invited to relatives showers starting at around age 15 or 16 if I was invited to the wedding. I was also a quiet, serious child so there’s that. 

Post # 6
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Well, since you’re not hosting I would ask whoevers hosting. Since its their party to throw they can clarify who is and is not invited. 

Since you’re the bride they will probably just ask what you prefer though. So figure out whether you want kids there or not and that’s your answer. 

I think most people invite kids that cannot stay home alone because its easier for mom. But what other people did won’t help too much because oftentimes this all depends on where it’s at, how the kids act, what your tolerance for kiddos is, whether it would make it harder or easier on the moms.

 

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

The only ones at my daughter’s were the flower girl (9) and the groom’s niece (12), who is a bridesmaid. It was in the living room of a venue’s mansion – and yes, full of antiques, so it wouldn’t have been a good idea to have a lot of little kids running around. They hosted 35 (capacity 36), so that wouldn’t have worked. Actually, only one guest came who had a daughter under 10, but she didn’t ask. Mimosas and champagne were served.

If these kids would increase attendance by 10 persons, isn’t that a lot more people to serve and seat? I could imagine the teenagers would be totally dissinterested (and play on their phones all the time) and the smaller ones being bored and getting into things. Also you would then have to contact everyone, and tell them their daughter’s are invited, not just the ones who asked; if they attend and see other kids there, that’s opening up a whole other can of worms. Good luck!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Vsmart:  We don’t do bridal showers where I live, but we do baby showers and usually don’t bring kids to them. We leave them home with the dads. It’s meant to be “girl time” and that’s hard when half the women are chasing after kids.

(I agree with CaroBee:  that you’d make an exception for nursing infants, who just feed and sleep, and don’t run around).

Post # 9
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - The Defoor Centre

Well for me, I would have to ask for no kids.  I feel this is an adult affair and certain things may be discuse that is not appropriate for younger girls to hear.  Although it is not a lingerie shower but i truly believe that you will receives some and most time at the opening of that present, things may be said.  Secondly, If i was a nursing mother or for mothers that are nursing, there are this thing called a pump that you used when you can not be home to feed your baby.  When you are going somewhere and there will be plenty fun, I dont think I want to worry about what my child/children are doing. IJS

Post # 10
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

I’ve seen children who were close family at them. It’s ultimately up to you, though. 

Post # 11
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

aussiemum1248:  Where I come from, I’ve seen kids at those, too. 

Post # 12
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I just had my bridal shower this weekend, and there were no kids invited–however, both FI’s SILs asked if they could bring their kids, as it would be hard for them to arrange babysitting. It wasn’t a problem with us, so they came, and I involved them with the present opening by having one of them, who’s learning how to read, read the cards out loud to me, and then the other two tore open the gift wrap.

Post # 13
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve seen it both ways.  It really depends on the location and feel of the shower.  Ask those who are hosting, if they don’t care, it is up to you.

Post # 14
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think most kids would find a shower boring. If they are welcomed, someone has to provide activities for them, or at least one of them will almost certainly disrupt the shower. Sitting watching grown women play shower games and open gifts isn’t high on the bucket list for many kids.

Post # 15
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

Vsmart:  There were kids at mine (I didn’t know they were coming) and I really wish there weren’t. It wasn’t supposed to be a lingerie shower but several people brought lingerie and other sex toys and things like that. I was mortified because some of the children there were my students. If you’re confident that there will be no lingerie, or you’re comfortable with them seeing it then I don’t see why not to include them. 

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