(Closed) kids or teenagers, that is the question!

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Address the invitation only to the people who you are inviting. For example, if John and Jane Doe have three children Alice (age 15), Barbara (age 12) and Calvin (age 9), the envelope would look like the following:

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

Miss Alice Doe

123 Sesame Street

City, State ZIP

 If you are doing inner envelopes, the outer envelope would go to the parents only and the inner envelope would have the three names.

Post # 4
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

do an inner envelope and address it to the parents + the kids you are inviting.  then do ___ of ___ on the reply card so its clear again.  In your example above… it would be "___ of 4 will attend".  that should avoid the confusion!

Post # 6
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Honestly this is totally word of mouth on my end. My family is being total warriors for me and just passing the word on. Plus on my invite and one of my insterts (pocketfold invites) it will say "Adult only reception" I will assume people will that that for what it’s for and know adult means 18 + however should they call and ask, we will explain.

We’re pretty sure we’ll be able to head anything off at the pass and if someone RVPS with more people or younger people on the list, then we will call and let them know. Though this is working for me because I have 2 plate choices and  they will have to put their name in to designate a plate choice.

Post # 8
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Could you send individually addressed invitations to the children you are inviting?

One word of warning…most find it poor etiquette to invite some children of a family and not others.  It might help to spread the word in advance of the age limit so no one is surprise or upset.

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

I agree that it’s not ideal to invite some kids but not others from the same family. Is there any way you could draw the line a different way? Like invite all kids of close relatives, but not invite kids of friends?

Post # 11
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

We’re doing a "No kids" ceremony mainly because of FIs boss’ brat of a child, so we’re passing that word of mouth, that there will be babysitters at the ceremony. And most people are either a) not bringing their kids or b) bringing a babysitter along, since it’s a destination-y wedding. I’m sure i’ll put something about babysitters in the "Information" section of my pocketfold as well.

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Oooh, that is a tough situation…I don’t know if your budget allows it, but could you set up a room with a babysitter for the under 13 year old kids? That way they would be kind of invited, but not really? Maybe you could "invite" the whole family, but then also include an insert in the invitation that says that babysitting services will be provided during the reception for all children under 13 years of age.

Post # 14
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

This is difficult and I’m not sure I have any advice.  We are inviting either all kids or no kids in each family.  Our dividing line was this:  If we consider the kids to be either friends of ours or of FI’s kids, they are invited with their parents.  If not, they are not.  FI’s kids are 17 and 20, and he has friends whose kids are really like cousins to his kids.  There are also some teenage kids of friends that are not so much friends of his kids, but are the sort of personable young folks that are pretty comfortable with adults, and we enjoy their company.  And then, you know, there are the friends whose kids you never see except on their way in or out the door – and maybe even can never quite remember their names.  They are not invited.  Its a nonstandard solution, and I suppose some people may wonder why others’ kids are there when theirs were not invited, but we are prepared to explain our reasoning if anyone is gutsy enough to ask.

The ONLY kids we are inviting just because the parents are also attending are one very well behaved 5-year old, whose parents will have to travel to attend (and they are close enough friends that we are sort of pseudo aunt and uncle), and my sister’s baby, whose first birthday will be the day of the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

if you’re going to invite some kids, you have to invite the whole family. i think it would be totally odd to invite some but not others. if i was the guest who received the invitation and only 1 of my 3 kids were invited, i would find that a hassle since either a) i can’t go because i have my other kids or b) i have to find someone to watch the other kids. 

i guess it’s different for me since i’m inviting whole families (babies included) because  i’m actually close to the parents and their kids. 

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