Post # 1
hello bees! I know peoples opinions will vary depending on your families and past experiences, but I want to know — did you invite children to your wedding? Our families are large, and we are expecting around 200 people. My FI has stated that he doesn’t want to invite children, because they can get out of hand. We recently attended a wedding in my family, and some of the young children were running around doing whatever they wanted (while the parents sat, watched, and did nothing about it). My FI doesn’t want to deal with worrying about the same thing happening at our wedding. We have quite a few young children we would need to invite. What is your experience with this? Is it rude not to invite the children?
Post # 3
Only kids in the family 🙂
We hired some professional babysitters to watch friends of family’s children. We’re super close to practically all of our guests so I don’t think it will seem odd.
Post # 4
We had a number we had to stay below, so we invited children of the wedding party, children from out of town, and children who were too young to either stay at home or for whom getting a sitter would be difficult. Everyone was cool with this. I know because I called all the parents and explained what was going on.
We also hired an event nanny service who kept the kids entertained all night so there was no running around and getting into mischief. Best $250 ever spent.
Post # 5
We originally wanted a no-kids wedding, but then we realized that there is only 1 kid in our family…. yeah. It didnt matter so much after that.
Post # 6
it is not rude to not invite children. if you want an all adults reception, then make that clear and stick to your guns! i will be inviting children to my wedding, but its really just a personal preference.
Post # 7
Other! We’re telling people they’re allowed to bring the kids, but it’s not encouraged. Basically we’re warning them that our wedding is going to be a pretty wild party with lots of drinking, bad language, probably some streaking… that if they want to bring their kids that’s fine, but we are making no accomodations to keep them from being exposed to adult behavior.
It’s working out well so far because our friends and family already know that we’re not particularly child-appropriate people. There’s also only a few kids who people might actually bring… most of our friends and same-generation relatives don’t have children yet.
Post # 9
We’re inviting first cousins only (there are only 4 under 18). Our friends children will not be invited. Our friends just started having babies which means a whoooole bunch of toddlers.
Post # 10
The only kids we had were my niece’s (1 and 3) and my cousins (10 & 13) and hubby’s brother who is 12. We also had 3 teenaged cousins.
Post # 11
We’re not inviting children for a few reasons:
1) None of my immediate family have any children, so the only children we’re talking about here are my cousins’ children, and therefore my second-cousins.
2) I have a LOT of relatives, and a LOT of my cousins have children so it adds a good 20+ people to our 120 max (including us) wedding and at this point we’re B-listing a lot of our friends. The FI doesn’t have any children but one on his side, so this is all about my side’s kids.
3) When my grandparents died last year, the behaviour of a lot of the aforementioned cousins’ children was appalling and nothing was done to correct them. We’re talking running around screaming in the funeral home. I get that they were bored and just acting as kids do; I take exception that their parents just ignored it.
I loved going to weddings as a kid and I agree wholeheartedly with having kids at weddings, but it just isn’t going to work out for our situation.
Post # 12
I wanted to not invite kids except for the ones in the wedding. My FMIL had a few requests that were very important to her. Her younger sister’s 4 daughters had to be invited. So then we had to invite the cousins on his dad’s side of the family, but there are only 6 of them and they are all 16-19ish. We will have a total of 6 children under the age of 5 and all but one is in the wedding.
Post # 13
Generally, no. We may have some guests with breast-feeding babies though, and that would be fine.
Post # 14
@Entangled: your post made me laugh so hard! I love your attitude 🙂
I just wasn’t sure if it was rude to invite some children and not others. I’m a young bride to be (22), and have not been to all that many weddings (that I can remember, anyways). I was afraid that if we extended the invitation to certain children and not others, some people would be offended? From all of your posts though, it seems like it’s a pretty common thing, which makes me feel a little better!
Post # 15
My wedding will have many kids..
Post # 16
i thought about it very briefly but we had so few on our list anyway that it just wasn’t an issue. we only had 3 kids there, plus my 1-yr old niece was the flowergirl but had a babysitter during the reception. only about 5 other kids were invited but didn’t come. there were a couple more babies whose parents came but got sitters since our reception was past their bedtimes. not many of our friends or cousins etc have kids yet!