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I just recently went back to school... This 18 year old girl was showing me photos of her nephew. Then she showed me a video of her 6 year old niece. This video consisted of her uncle saying "hi, ally! you look pretty" Ally then says "no! you look pretty F**k you. F**k you very much" ... maybe she got confused and Thank you and F**k you sound similiar in her speak?
Ally then turns to her little brother, of whom she' is supposedly jealous of, and says "F**k you Robbie, you are SO F**kin ugly. You are so F**kin ugly. Mommy loves me more. F**k you very much!"
The video ends and this girl in class is laughing, "isnt she the cutest??" Umm haha she's cute, but wow, that mouth! She claims that her brother and sister-in-law doesnt speak that way,. but i dunno.. I let it go.
I personally get uncomfortable when I hear kids cursing like its nothing. 2 years old is one thing, but by 3 or 4 years old, it's time to explain what a "bad word" is. I am not mother, but I know we'd get soap in our mouth when we were little for words like hell, suck and dumb and idiot. I couldnt imagine the F-word!
What are your thoughts on Kids using curse words?
No child should be using language like that, in my oppinion. I can't help but judge parents who allow it, much less people who think it is cute. It's awful that she spoke to her brother like that. I can understand an accidental slip of the tongue, and anticipate I'll end up doing just that in front of DS sometime. But I would never tolerate DS repeating it, and would constantly be correcting him while he's young (under 3) and punishing him when he's older. We need to be better role models for kids. I would have gotten my butt kicked if I used language like that when I was a kid.
I'm not comfortable using words like that myself. Never have been. My husband now knows better too. So if my child does, we have a major problem.
They're learning it somewhere...
Side anecdote: One of my best friends babysat for a family afterschool for awhile. She told me how sweet the mom and kids were, but then how shocked she was one day when one of the kids started innocently spewing some words. She asked the kid where she had learned the words, and was told, "Daddy." So, awhile later, she gets to meet daddy, who sure enough is dropping f-bombs or whatever all over the place.
So sad. :-(
I have a coworker at work who has a 3 year old daughter who swears all the time. They think it's funny at home, then are embarrased when they get "talked to" by the day care provider and when she says "holy $hit" out loud in a restaurant. I wouldn't let DS spend time with a kid who swears a lot. I'd also never want to be the parent of a kid who is ostracised because other parents don't want their kid to hang out with the kid who swears.
Umm no that is totally inappropriate. A 6 year old goes to school and if she uses those words around other kids then they will learn them too. I think adults should not use curse words around kids or let them watch shows or movies that have bad language even if they are under 4, because they retain every word they hear and you never know when that kid is going to blurt out a curse word. And some kids take a liking to a particular word and repeat it over and over especially if they get a reaction from people.
My son knows i dont play those games! He knows what "potty words" are. We try not to curse around him, but things slip out...but DS will def catch us and say "mommy you need a time out! you used a potty word!"....and i do take a timeout!
I want him to hold himself and others accoountable for thier language. My friends and family call DS the Potty Work Police lol!! when he was younger he would miick what we said, the first could of times we let it slide with a warning...as he got older we started addressing it. He would get a time out first, and if it happend again....he would "pop" on the butt or hand.
I dont like it from small children. Especially "fuck." Though sometimes it's a little funny. There's a home video of me mocking my grandfather when I was about 4 years old. It was Thanksgiving, he and my grandmother were fighting, and he says "woman, all you do is bitch, bitch, bitch." That pretty much resulted in me walking around the house for the rest of the day going "bitch, bitch, bitch." Not gonna lie, it's a family favorite.
I wasn't allowed to say cuss words when I was younger and I plan to enforce the same rule. It's going to be hard though because DH has a mouth like a sailor. Guess where he got that mouth from? His mother.
Just wanted to add... when I was young my parents never said bad words around me. I remember the first time I heard my dad swear, I think I was around 16, and it was earth-shattering, haha! Not that anyone in my family was a big swearer, it was just funny to hear it the first time.
@bree72: hehehe that's a funny story
i'll admit, the first thing i thought of when i saw this thread was this video, which still makes me laugh...
but in real life i wouldn't find it funny or cute if it was a regular thing. kids are like parrots when they're really little and will say anything they hear. it's one thing to slip up every once in awhile (like, saying "shit" when you drop something or forgot it), but i think parents should really try to keep it to a minimum in front of their kids and nip it in the bud if the kid repeats it
I think it depends on the child's age how you should react (but it is never okay). If they are really little, they aren't going to understand "potty words" and making a big deal about it is just going to make the words stick more. Better to just ignore and they likely won't use it again.
But once they are a bit older, they definitely need to be taught that it is not okay.
Funny story - when I was little, I had one of those Lego tables. I'd built a big tower and then accidently knocked it over. I exclaimed "Damn Shit!" and then went back to building. Although my parents had accidently cursed around me before, my mom had no clue why I put those words together as that is nothing either of them even would have said.
@Catherine: yes! i know. my parents are only cursing outloud recently and i'm 24!
That is completely uncalled for. No child should have words like that in their vocabulary. Period. The issue here is that they arent letting that poor little girl know, they are laughing and video taping it so she thinks its perfectly acceptable. Well its NOT!
I think I'm more bothered by the demeaning and insulting way that little girl talked to her brother than I am by the curse words. That little girl obviously has some major jealousy to her brother that should be addressed, way above and beyond the cussing.
My husband and I don't cuss much as it is, but we really try to be careful around our daughter because she is so little she just parrots what we say, even though she doesn't understand much of it. When she gets older, we'll explain the concept of curse words, but for now, we just try to monitor ourselves.
I think that's out of line. It's one thing if a very young child hears a curse word and repeats it (like @bree72 's story of her repeating "bitch bitch bitch."). When they are super young and they repeat what they heard (ONE TIME!!!) it's a little bit funny.
But when you allow a child to use curse words and are teaching them what they mean and how to use them (like "F*ck you), it is completely out of line.
What happens when that child goes to day care or school and gets punished for doing something that this parents told him was ok? That's not fair to the child. All of a sudden, the child is getting punished and doesn't understand why.
I don't think its okay to talk like that period. Especially to her brother. Not an adult nor a child. If that were my son, he would have corner time immedietly, and then we would work on what appropriate things to say are.
I had a kid in my daycare class who swore like a sailor. His pothead dad thought it was hilarious to get him to talk like that. Just about every swear word you could think of was part of this kid's everyday vocabulary. The sad thing was that this little 3 year old was as sweet as could be and had no idea why the words were so bad. He just knew daddy laughed when he said them. He was at the front desk a lot for swearing, mainly because if I didn't take him up there he'd have the rest of the class laughing and repeating him in a matter of a few minutes. It was just a really tragic situation actually. Parents should not encourage their children to behave in a way that's going to harm them. That's just wrong.
I sometimes slip, usually in traffic, but on a daily basis I think curse words make people sound like they can't use proper, intelligent vocabualry so I think kids should totally understand that words like that don't do anything for people taking them seriously. Of course I think it is incredibly pathedic, I was in a school and I have NEVER heard such foul mouthed 2-5th graders. I know it is because mommy and daddy say those things and media tells them it is okay, but frankly, if you can't think of a more intelligent reply than "F. You!" then one should invest in a dictionary and a thesurus and add something worth saying to society.
The only thing better than kids cursing is really old people cursing. I don't really like the idea of teaching kids to curse because it's amusing (I don't think kids should be unwitting performers like that), but I also don't think people should constantly be censoring themselves around children and being super sheltering and protective. Yeah, it's not always the most creative manner of speaking, but the way I see it, if the shock factor is gone from the f words and sh words of the world, then we'll have to come up with new and creative vile speech.
[reason #33 why I am not going to have children... my kids would totally be the ones teaching all the other kindergarteners all the really, really bad words]
ETA: I don't think that cursing a lot means someone has a bad vocabulary or can't express themselves. Sure, some people who curse a lot are less educated and less articulate, but there's plenty of people who like 25 cent words and four letter ones.
I have never filtered anything I say around my son. I swear all the time. Not like every other word but when it happens it happens. My son has never been one to swear though. There was once he did it and I had to explain that it wasnt a nice word to use. He will call me out on it too when i do it. Lets just say he yelled "fml!!!" in a dressing room once. embarrassing. And when he was a little over 2 (he was a late talker) we were in target and for some reason he just kept whispering "asshole" over and over again. that was embarrassing too. but on a regular basis he knows the "bad" words and will not say them. swearing in my family is something that is kind of like drinking. At a certain age its "legal" to do it but you should do it responsibly :) oh and never in front of your parents or elders. I still filter myself around my grandma but she doesnt around me lol so that tells you how that works.
I should also say that I dont think its cute and it wouldnt be ok for my 6 year old to swear. I was raised with the do as i say not as i do mentality and its the same with my son. just because i do something doesnt mean he can. He knows the rules and i am lucky that he is a good kid and doesnt really give me a problem.
@chasesgirl: I disagree. I am intelligent and I swear on a fairly regular basis. I can express myself without it just fine, but sometimes to give someone a big ole F YOU!!! just feels darn good. I dont think that means i need a dictionary or thesaurus.
How awful. I can't velieve anyone would find that funny. A little kid dropping a ton of f-bombs while ranting at her brother? That is horrendous.
I don't think it is funny in general, but there are times when it can be...like when they are first "testing" it.
For example...a cute, sweet little girl I was babysitting. She was about 3. I had my back to her because I was trying to pull some books out of the closet. She was in a perfectly happy mood, then all of a sudden I hear "GOD DAMN IT!" I turned around shocked, and she just looked at me so sweetly and innocently that I actually wondered if I was hallucinating! I just basically ignored it, figuring a response would encourage her to repeat it again.
When I was little, just over a year old - like just learning to talk, I was in the backseat of the car in my car seat. My mom got cut off and had to slam on the brakes. I yelled out "Jesus Christ Almighty!" My mom was too shocked to respond! I never said anything like that before or after that one time!
Encouraging a child is terrible. You're story is disgusting. Parents who knowingly choose and encourage this kind of behaivor probably should have their heads examined.
@heathaah: I understand exactly what you are saying though and this is different.
Children are little recorders. When my bonus son was 2 he dropped a glass of juice, put his hands on his hips and said "Oh crap". My husband and I just looked at the other and giggled quietly to ourselves. I then stopped saying that word, because I was the bad influence. He probably said it 2 more times, but we ignored it and he stopped saying it.
I think when Kids get to a certain age,it should definately be explained to them what "bad words" are,and why not to use them. But to see parents encouraging it by laughing and recording them isnt fair on the child.
But,funny story about my DH,when he was really small,his mum and dad were walking around with him in his stroller,and his dad said "arrgh,Ive just stood in dog shit!" before he could censor himself. DH,of course,starts repeating "dog shit,dog shit,dog shit" alll day!lol. It also amazes me how kids can pick out certain words and copy them but it is nearly always a swear word they will pick up. My BFFs younger sister was watching a dog show on TV once and when they described the dog,they used the word bitch, and out of all of the words said,THIS was the one that the little sister picked up on and repeated!
I'm a preschool teacher and I never realized how many little kids say "bad words" until I started teaching. They definitely hear it from somewhere. I know a lot of my kids hear it from watching TV/listening to music with their parents. I usually tell them not to use those words at school, but I try not to make a huge deal out of it because then they tend to start saying it for attention.
Funny story: When DH was 4 or 5 years old, he got mad at church and said "Mommy, I am pissed O-F!" He said the "bad word" and incorrectly spelled the wrong word. haha
I don't have a problem with adults cussing. But I don't think it's fair to encourage a child to cuss (and not all cute) because they have no concept of the "tone" in which the words are received. They aren't making a choice and it's gross that an adult would knowingly use them for a laugh in that manner.
I used to cuss like a sailor on shore leave until I became a mom, and sometimes I slip in front of my oldest, but we talk about it and he knows it's not "cool" to use the same language at his age. I did let loose with an F-bomb when we were almost side-swiped on a busy highway, when he was 4. From the back seat, I heard his little voice telling me, "You no say dat, Momma. Jus only my daddy say dat!" So, he understood it wasn't appropriate (and I had a talk with his father). Thankfully, I now have a mute button around the younger ones by some force unknown to me!
I remember my dad struggling to not say "shit" when we were kids... he spilled hot coffee one morning and there was a long, drawn-out "Shhhh....ugar!" So, "sugar" was the "bad" word in our house. lol
@jjmomma: we said crud, and poop, and freak, and sugar, and fudge when i was younger.. but my mom still didnt even like those!
I have a niece with a drug problem who swears like a sailor. Her 2year old dropped the M-effer at my brother's funeral. Then later proceeded to tell her mom to go eff herself. In the months after the funeral my niece took off and left the baby with my family. I'm so happy to say that at age 7 she is militant about using bad words, because no one else in my family talks like that and we told her it was wrong to use those words.
Altho for the record my niece is a pos. :D
It's totally one thing for a child to mimic and say it one time, but that little girl isn't mimicing.... she's using it in context in a sentence just like an adult. So not cool. The girl definitely shouldn't be video taping it and laughing at the behavior either. Kids are hams and they know when an adult finds something funny and they'll do it just for the attention after that.
@ravenwait: My mom was the same way! We kids weren't allowed to tell eachother to shut-up. Even now, if her older grandsons say crap, she lectures them. :)
One day my daughter witnessed our nasty middle age neighbor exhibiting a particularly ugly temper tantrum about people walking on her lawn. My daughter who was like 5 at the time whispered to me "She's a bitch!". I just about died laughing and said "yes she is".
But I would never encourage the behavior that the OP spoke about. That is awful.
@chasesgirl: i completely agree! in my experience, the constant potty mouths are the same people who don't know any words to replace them with anyway. if that's how someone presents themselves to me, i'm going to assume it's because they lack the larger vocabulary to truly express their feelings without using an offensive manner.
Wow, y'all are a tough crowd. I mix my cuss words with a grandiloquent and demiurgic vocabulary. I <3 my thesaurus. And my dictionary.
I agree that foul language in children is NOT funny. But I do have a funny story about it. My nephew, I think 4 at the time, was walking in the front yard with his grandmother (my MIL). They were talking about her flower beds and how the squirrels keep eating her flowers all the time. He says to her, "those damn squirrels." It was and still is hilarious because he's never said a thing like that before and hasn't since. He learned it from his grandmother. We still laugh about it now, 2 years later.
With that said, I also think that a child that repeats it or says something randomly and out of the blue should be met with zero reponse, like another poster said. If you draw attention to it that will probably make it more "fun" for them to get a reaction out of you.
Also, I have a 10 year old daughter and when we are around my husband's college friends we tell her to never repeat anything she hears, lol. She says, I know mom. Until these people have children, they still have potty mouths.
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