Post # 1
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
There was never an option of having an adults-only wedding. I wouldn’t really want one anyway. But the closer it gets to the wedding, and the more time I hang out with the kids of my siblings and cousins… the more I am stressed that it’s going to be total and utter mayhem at my wedding. It just seems like parents don’t “do” discipline these days. The kids don’t listen, the parents negotiate and don’t follow through, or worse– just don’t notice the kids acting up!
I’m just feeling disheartened today after babysitting for my cousin’s 6-yr-old daughter. I took her out, bought her two cute headbands at a nearby store, then took her to a little cafe and she got fries, a drink, an ice cream. I got not one thank you.
I suppose I am just venting. We will have a puppet show early in the evening and I’m thinking of doing a pinata later on. I’m just envisioning a crowd of rampaging kids taking over the dance floor, running riot through the reception, etc…
Someone tell me it’s going to be alright?
Post # 2
prahajess: I think the level of “alright” is going to depend mostly on you and how “zen” you are about the situation. If you go into it thinking it’ll be a disaster and you are already annoyed at the situation, yeah it probably will be. Does your venue have a side room or seperate area you can set up kid activities? Coloring sheets, games, etc? If so, that’s a great place to start. I can definitely be brutally honest about the situation, coming from the POV as a wedding vendor, but I’m not sure you’d want that. 😉 You are definitely correct in thinking that people just don’t discipline their kids. It’s 20 times worse at a wedding, and I don’t care what anyone says, I see it at every wedding. They are more concerned about enjoying themselves. In all fairness though, the annoyance factor will most likely be experienced by the other guests and not you. YOU will be busy talking with people and enjoying your reception.
Post # 3
I love having children at weddings, they alays look adorable in their little suits and dresses. My family is from Argentina, and it would be unheard of to have an adult only wedding. I think a wedding is not about having a perfect day, but about celebrating your love and committment. You are celebrating starting your own family, so why not include others? That being said, we will probably be hiring a sitter to look after the kids, so that adults can enjoy some time apart as well.
Post # 4
We had kids at ours, and it was fine. However, our venue also had a playground outside, a big porch, and I provided candy buckets scattered around through the hall. I also designated a corner as the “kids corner” and had some games, their own candy pail, and a couple couches.
Aside from my grandmother bringing fake monster teeth and giving them to my nine year old brother everything was fine. We have a pro pic of him grinning at the camera, monster teeth and all. So lovely.
You have to be aware that it won’t be perfectly sit-down and formal, and maybe go for a slightly more casual atmosphere so that the adults don’t feel intruded upon and the kids don’t feel suffocated. In my opinion, weddings are about beginning new families, and kids are a big part of that!
Post # 5
We had a bunch of kids at our wedding and they were fine. They were out on the dance floor for quite some time but weren’t disruptive or in the way at all. We also have so many cute pictures of them. I agree with PP that it is so cute to see them all dressed up and to see the progression of perfectly put together to shoes and socks off and shirts untucked by the end of the night.
We also put the kids table in a corner away from doors to outside and flanked the table with parents. We didn’t supply them with any coloring books or games or anything but in pictures I see that lots were just playing on their parents phones or those little nintendo games at the table.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Thanks for the responses, everyone!
THe wedding i not going to be formal at all. But in a way I think that might just feed the fire. On the other hand, there is an upstairs hall where the puppet show will be and hopefully I can organize some coloring books, etc. to have available up there as well. Maybe my cousin (mother of three of the kids in question) can bring some board games too. There is also a play structure outside. Maybe they will be spread out.
Normally I have a pretty high tolerance for mayhem, but my FI really doesn’t, and he’s pretty shocked at the lack of discipline he’s seen so far. But I guess I’ll have to way to not focus on whether or not he’s annoyed. And maybe we should talk about it this week.
Time to take a big breath and be zen!
Post # 7
We had a ton of kids at my wedding. Seriously. Eight babies under the age of one, plus several toddlers, a half dozen gradeschool kids and a few teenagers. And you know what? We didn’t have a single issue all night! We had a sitter available during the ceremony but most people just brought their kids to the ceremony and we didn’t hear a peep! They ran around and played during cocktail hour. The sat with their parents and ate dinner. Then they tore it up on the dance floor. At the end of the nigth we had paper lanterns that they helped set off, but that was really the only thing that specifically involved kids. Oh, and cake. Kids love cake. Overall, I truly thought that the kids made the wedding more fun and I’m glad they were all there.
So I would not stress about it. Little things go wrong with both adults and kids, so everything may not be perfect. But I think that most of the time kids are reasonably well behaved at weddings. So you have fun and let them have fun and then everyone’s having fun!
Post # 8
prahajess: Kids did NOT ruin my wedding. Everyone kept their kids off the dance floor during the first dances. The kids did not create a scene. There was absolutely no bad interference. There WAS great interference! I served my nephews their slices of cake right after our cake cutting, before it was brought to the kitchen to be served. Some of my very young cousins were dancing it up on the dance floor all night. One of my friend’s babies was so enamoured by watching people dance that she was the happiest baby!
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
JenGirl: nadnuk: Thanks! This is what I need to hear. And thanks for the pics of the adorable kids (especially the two really big ones in the last picture 😉 ).
I love kids. I think this issue might be more about dealing with my FI not loving them.
Post # 10
prahajess: We had children at our wedding, and had no issues what so ever. In fact my then 2 year old niece fell asleep during the ceremony. I also had activity books/colors for the kids at the reception.
As for your niece not saying thank you that is really on her parents. I make it a point with my 2.5 year old that he says. Please, thank you and excuse me. For example my son wanted his “flash light” out of his bed. I asked him what does he say, he then said Please. I am finding he s more and more using Please, thank you and excuse me. In fact as I am typing this. He came over to me and asked me if we could “Please can we go to the park”.
Post # 11
Bored kids are the worst kind of kids. Great that you are planning a puppet show. A pinata might be too much excitement though, especially if it’s on display for hours before they’re allowed to break it. Maybe consider hiring a couple of babysitters to be in charge of a kids’ activity area where they can play kid games, do crafts/coloring/whatever, etc. If you put someone who is not a wedding guest in charge of keeping the kids entertained, they are more likely to actually be supervised than if you leave it up to the parents, who will be distracted and probably drinking too.
Post # 12
prahajess: Yeah, fraternity brothers should be a far greater concern than children… But these guys were awesome!
Post # 13
prahajess: I’m really looking forward to having kids at my wedding. We’ll have 8 kids aged betweeen 1 and 9 so I fully expect at least a couple of tantrums and noise at the wrong moment and sticky stuff on my dress and lots of other unexpected mishaps but I don’t really care as I can’t imagine not having all the neices and nephews there and it’s always good to have ammo for when they’re teenagers and need embarrasing 🙂 I’d say it’s all about attitude, if you expect it to happen and decide that it won’t bother you and will be something to laugh at later (and make sure the parents know to take the kids out if needed etc) it’ll all be fine. But if you get worried about it before hand and decide it’s going to annoy you when they act like children it will probably annoy you on the day.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
prahajess: It is for that reason that we are having a child free wedding. Just did not want to worry about my nieces acting up (they are absolutely horrendous – my sister does not discipline them). I am also not into having a bunch of kids running around and kids stress me out. That being said, they could be really great at your wedding. Have some little activities to keep them pre-occupied and if you feel comfortable enough maybe talk to the parents of the kids that are prone to not notice the behaviour to please take them out if they are starting to get noisy. I guess it all depends on the attitude you choose to take it on your wedding day.
Post # 15
prahajess: We had an adults-only wedding (we were married on NYE) except for my niece who was flower girl. In reality, it wouldn’t have mattered because only one couple had children. There are just not many kids in our family as we are in the stage where my oldest cousin’s kids are teens and the rest (besides my sister with my niece) have not had kids yet. My niece (who is 4) didn’t make a peep during the ceremony, ate her dinner quietly, sat with me and DH at our table during speeches and laughed at what my dad said, danced vigorously, and then passed out on some chairs lol. Not an issue at all.