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I know other people will say that you can make an exception for family, but I personally don't think it's fair, so I would say that if you're inviting your cousins, you should invite all children.
However, in terms of inviting infants but not children over 2, I think that's fine. So I think it's fine, whichever way you choose to go.
we can't add kids because of the size of our venue, we are already at capacity with guests, and to add kids would have meant not having adults there that we wanted there. So I have my niece as flowergirl and that's it, I have explained in my invites that we cannot invite children due to venue restrictions and left it at that, if people don't come because of that, then I respect that it's their decision :) we're inviting people from South Africa that have children and will include details of highly recommended babysitting services that they can use for the day of the wedding, if they do fly over to join us.
I appreciate it's a big ask of us, but we really have no choice
Thanks Jenniphyr. Re: family - just an example:
Uncle1 has three children - one is a few years younger than my mother, and has a son just a few years younger than me (all are invited, plus a guest for the son). Child 2 is a few years older than me, married, with two small children (not invited except as described above) Also, child 2 is in Colorado, so chances of attendance are small. Child 3 is single, invited with guest. Aunt1, has one son, who's children are living with her. Aunt1, son, and son's guest are invited - boys are up in the air, but are both over 15 - they are most likely invited as they live with aunt1. Aunt2 has two sons - one is local, and has two children in elementary school. Aunt2 and Husband, Both Sons and wives are invited - kids would be excluded under this plan, but could be added. All the kids in question in this part are my 2nd cousins, and we're talking 4 children and 2 older teens.
Where it gets very tricky - my mother has extended cousins that are invited. They are my mom's 1st cousins kids (not sure if that makes them my 2nd or 3rd). I am fine inviting the adults on this side, but not the kids, as there are over 20. On this side, the split between the adult cousins and kid cousins is a clear split on a level - the 3rd generation is all under 18.
Applecore: I would love to just say babysitter and that's it. Unfortunately, the hotel is 25 minutes from the reception, and the reception only has the one room - no where else to go. :(
At this point I'm going to be bald on wedding day.
I'm in nearly the same situation. Our guest list is around 200, and if we allowed children, they would comprise nearly 25% of the guests! No thanks! Our venue is small and can literally only seat 190 for the ceremony. Anyone else would have to stand in another room and watch the ceremony on a TV monitor. There is no way that I am having one of my adult relatives or friends have to stand in the other room because a toddler is using up a chair! For our immediate family, we are allowing children (our 3 neices and 4 nephews), and I think that is totally acceptable. For everyone else, we are inviting couples only. Since etiquette sites have said it's potentially rude to note "adults only" or "no children" on an invitation, we're hoping that people get the hint when the RSVP card states "2 seats have been reserved in your honor". As a back-up plan, I've hired a nanny to be at the wedding venue, so that any kids that end up arriving can be ushered downstairs. :)
I always say that weddings are not for children. I however, made a few exceptions on my weddign day. My youngest sister is 10 (9 at the time) so she was there obviously. My SIL has two daughters 7 and 9 and they were both there and so was my BIL's daughter who is 3. Other than that there were no children allowed. I think exceptions can be made when its close family members.
We are also doing no children except for niece and nephews. Then our guest list is ONLY cousins and aunts. No children of cousins. We will have some infants around, but we are not inviting them at all.
I think you really need to have a clear cut off when you do this sort of wedding. No children of cousins means no children of cousins for any guest, no matter what the age or circumstance. A child might be needy no matter what age they are, so it's hard to say that an 18 month year old has more right to be at a wedding than a 4 year old.
I invited my nieces and nephews over 8. The threeEthan are 1 or younger are not invited. I invited all my second cousins (5). My FI family is 1/3 the guest list. I had to balance out the family.....
I invited my nieces and nephews over 8. The threeEthan are 1 or younger are not invited. I invited all my second cousins (5). My FI family is 1/3 the guest list. I had to balance out the family.....
Our guest list is 66
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So, FI and I are finalizing our guest lists. Right now, the biggest issues are kids. I have six that must be invited - they are my nieces and nephews. We are considering not inviting any other children, due to costs and the size of our venue. However, we do have several couples invited that will have children under 18 months. I consider that age to be the "need mommy" stage. This is especially because the wedding is in upstate NY, and the couples are in VT, NH, CO and CA. However, alot of other family members kids, we are giving a blanket no.
1) Is this "fair"? Can we just leave kids off the invites totally, but then give notes in those four invites, explaining the situation, and saying that their toddler/infant can come?
2) By doing this, we will be inviting certain family levels over 18, but not children of the same level. Anyone have insight on this?