Post # 1
well, i guess it’s not really a dilemma per se but i definitely need some insight.
at first we were discussing the idea of not having kids at the wedding. but FH has 3 nephews and a niece of whom he is very close with. and their parents are in the wedding party in some way. so we decided they would definitely be there. but then we thought “well, we cant invite some kids but not others”
but now the reality of it is that we dont really have the room for 10 extra kids. and some of the kids we would be inviting i know for a fact that they are unruly and do not listen to their parents and all i can think is that things would go wrong even if we did find a way to make more room.
so, my question is this- Is it ok to say the only kids we are having will be FHs niece and nephews as they are the only really close children.
the others are my aunts kids who i havnt seen in forever, a cousins kids who are unruly, my uncles grandson whom he takes care of, a co-worker, and a second cousins children. and we have no connection to these kids. i know some of the parents wont have a problem with a child free night i just want to make sure we go about it in the right way.
now of course i would tell them we simply cant have them because of space issues
Post # 3
I think you’d be okay since the kids you want to invite all belong to people in the wedding party. It seems like that would be a good “cutting off” point.
Post # 4
Are the 3 nephews and niece a part of the wedding at all? I’m doing adults only, with the exception of my 4 cousins and his niece and nephew, and they all have some part in the wedding. The boys are ushers, his niece is our flower girl and my girl cousin is a bridesmaid. I think if they are close family that they will be fine. But you will ned to be firm if people start asking about their kids coming or reply with more people than you intendid.
Post # 5
@Beth2010 one of the nephews will be in the wedding. his brother and sister will not be.
and one of the other nephews his mom is of course my FSIL and she is a bridesmaid and the dad is an usher.the nephew himself has no part in the wedding but everyone who could possibly watch him will be at the wedding.
i am wording the response cards “we have reserved 2 seats in your place.____ of 2 will/will not be attending” so if people start making up their own numbers i will just call them and tell them we put that specific number on the invite for a reason.
months ago i was talking to some of the parents and they had mentioned that if kids were not inviterd they could find a babysitter but i just dont want anyone to say “well why were other kids invited?” then i could say well they are FHs nephews and niece and they were the only kids allowed
Post # 6
We are in the same dilemma. I’ve decided it’s not fair to our other guests if we have some kids and not allow others to come. I would say either all or nothing. You may have some angry guests if you tell everyone its an Adult-only reception and then there are kids running around. My sister-in-law had that problem.
Its hard to tell family their kids arent included but I look at it this way: I want their parents to have a nice time, not chasing their kids around all night. I just make sure I let everyone know in advance (via save the date) so they can make arrangements for a sitter. Good luck!
Post # 7
I think it’s completely fine to have just the nephews/nieces attend without all other children. People understand limits around inviting too many people.
Post # 8
My FI and I went through this dilemma too. If we had invited kids, there would literally have been 30 children, but my FI and I have 2 nephews who we love to death, and our wedding wouldn’t be the same without them. Since we really can’t afford the extra (28) kids, we are inviting only adults. We’re hoping that if guests don’t understand, they’ll ask, and be understanding of the relationship we have with out nephews. I’d say it’s perfectly acceptable to take the same road that we did, even if not all of the kids have a part in the wedding 🙂
Post # 9
We are having no kids with the exception of my nephew. My family is huge and there are just too many kids. We figure given the advance notice people can find sitters and just enjoy a kid free evening. Saying it is a space issue should be enough.
Post # 10
I think you would be fine saying it’s a space issue. And I totally agree that having the kids of the wedding party is a good cut off point.
If there’s an extra room available and you have the funds, perhaps you could have a kids room, where you have a few sitters watch all the children at the wedding. Any parents with kids will probably really appreciate having a place where their kids will be having a good time while they get to enjoy their own adult time.