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@SarahConnors: I'm so sorry that you're having all this grief from your fiance's aunt. With the many other children, I totally agree that it absolutely would NOT be fair to allow one child who's not in the wedding party to attend the wedding. In fact, I'm wondering if you'll end up with grief from some of the others if you allow this one "squeaky wheel."
Some people just can't stand to be told "No." I too had "No children" at my wedding 'cause I can't stand the distractions children can cause. After all, most weddings don't even last that long. You've already made it possible for families to bring the kids...just not to the wedding itself. Having provided a babysitter on the premises (and really close!) and even offering to pay for this one aunt's child, you have done enough to appease most folks.
Stick to your guns. I would advise you to have the ushers be advised to NOT allow any children into the ceremony.
It is YOUR wedding; not your FI's aunt's! She can make the rules when it's her event! Good Luck.
If you don't want to have this discussion, don't have this discussion. ( To paraphrase the commercial).
Next time she brings this up, just say "We are not open to discussiing this. We have already communicated our decision."
Just keep repeating those two sentences when she "buts" and "anyhows".
If the aunt has the gall to walk out of the wedding because she her grandson is not invited, it will reflect on her, not you.
It is sooooo difficult to deal with people who just can't get it through their thick heads, that invitations are only meant for those whose names are on the envelope. Period.
The only reason I haven't solidly put my foot down is my FI- I want to be respectful of his family but it's getting ridiculous. Not to mention that yesterday while FI and I were driving back home from my grandfather's funeral is when this damned topic came up again- FMIL calls us while we're driving back and starts in about it, knowing full well where we were. I mean COME ON! I need to get FI 110% on board, no more back and forth, so we can put an end to it already. I feel bad that he is getting so much crap from her about it. I can't wait till the day after the wedding when my then MIL will go back to normal. I think she's the zilla of this wedding right now, or maybe it's her sister. Whatever the case, I need people helping spread the word instead of fighting it.
I just want to say I'm sorry that is happening! It's your damn wedding and you should have it the way you want! Stand your ground, sister!!! =)
I think when you win this battle, they will be thankful to have time away from the kids. That's my 2 cents =)
Ugh. That's awful. FI and I are also doing no children (besides our ringbearer, and I'm going to make sure he's in a room with a babysitter by 10pm). It's not fair for people to ask you to make exceptions for them, especially over and over again. Stick to your guns!
Tell her she can pay X amount for ALL of the children to come. Let her know that she needs to issue you and FI a check on X day before the inviations come out.
It worked for us. FI's uncle said he was offended his 5 children couldn't come. FI told him its 50$ total for each child to eat (we played it up and added in table setting, cake, extra centerpiece ect.). FI told him the number of children that could potentially attend and if he wanted to bring his kids it would cost him the amount of all the others included. He has since shut the &*^& up. He was blabbing to every freaking family member that would listen about the Adults only requirement, we heard it though the grape vine serval times.
Let your FMIL know that this is your wedding and not hers. She got to do things how she wanted when she got married and now its your (and FI's) turn. If she doesn't like it then she needs to open up her check book and write out 10,000$.
My bloods starting to boil just thinking about FI's uncle... gah!
Good luck! :)
I think before you tackle the issue with the FMIL, you need to get on the same page with your FI. Both of you need to communicate with her that no children are allowed and that's final. If that means a guest does not want/can't to attend, so be it. If your FMIL is sensing that your FI may give in to her demand, she is going to continue to push him or you until either she gets her way or it leads to a blow up between you and him.
Oh, my God. This is a NIGHTMARE! : / I agree with @julies1949; just stop entertaining the subject entirely. Tell your FH to do the same. Heck, call up the errant guest & tell HER!
We are not having kids at the wedding. Period. Done. Our opinion is that people can suck it up...it's important for our day to revolve around our friends and family enjoying themselves, and having small children furously running around detracts from that. If he's old enough, let him come, if not, weigh the pros and cons of who you will offend...sticky situation!
Ugh I'm sorry. We had a no children wedding, too and we did experience some backlash for it, but remained firm. I think you just have to do what other posters have suggested and when she brings it up, tell her she is aware of your decision, having one child there isn't fair to everyone else who has children they're leaving home, and you're not willing to discuss this matter with her any further. She's being very disrespectful toward you and she needs to let it go now--there will be times in your lives when you're just going to have to agree to disagree, and this is YOUR day!
My FI and I were struggling with that but a close friend said "ummm....I want a night AWAY from my kids.....I aint bringing them!!" I still say no. He says yes. We compromised and it will be family only. Well his family, and they are YOUNG.
You will NOT please everyone but once its done, everyone will say how beautiful it was and how delish those cupcakes were! ;)
Stick to you guns. If auntie doesn't come, thats her loss, not yours. I cant imagine AYTHING keeping me from one of my nieces or nephew's wedding. Someone will always have something to say. Too many cooks in the kitchen.....!! Its YOUR day, don't let one person ruin it. <3
@Captain013: It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't get to have things how she wanted at her wedding; I think there's been a big shift in generations (over a few generations, not just one) about how we view weddings and I think we can see on the boards where all of the tension from that shift comes out. It's gone from being centered on the family to being centered on the couple (as it should be, imo) but it must really be hard for women who couldn't have the weddings they wanted but don't have it in their favor now that the younger generations has started having more choices.
OP's FMIL is totally wrong, but it's just something to consider. If she's coming at this from an angle where she really doesn't emotionally understand that it's about the couple, it could explain why she's being so difficult about this. (I really like your idea, btw! I will try that next time someone tries something with me; "You want that? It's totally cool if you will pay for every guest to have that luxury, here's what it will cost.")
@SarahConnors: Can you talk directly to FMIL or FAIL (Wow...future aunt-in-law is FAIL. That's kind of awesome) about how you feel it's manipulative to say that she won't come to the wedding if she can't bring her grandson and how you really can't make an exception because it wouldn't be fair to other families and how you are trying your best to help accomodate them despite this? That it's really difficult because you want her there so badly and you love FI desperately but if you allow her son you need to allow everyone to bring their kids and you can't afford it and your friends and family won't understand you making an exception for her but not for their kids? Maybe she's angling to get you to pay to transport and board a known babysitter to act as an au pair.
@HappierKate: Wow I never thought of it that way- and you couldn't be more right! She's trying to make it all about the families and not about us, which is the more traditional way it was back when she got married. I think that for my FMIL it's also partially that she was married twice and neither marriage worked out. She's been single since my FI was 11 years old, so 20 years now she's been on her own. I think this is like her last stand of control over him in a way, and I think she also worries that I will take him away from her- which I can understand since he's one of two kids and his sister's married. He's the baby and I know they're close. I totally respect their relationship, and I go out of my way to have my own relationship with her as well- I even took the day off on her birthday to take her to lunch just us girls, we go shopping together when I have a day off, etc. I have no intention of changing their relationship though, and I think she knows that but it's got to be hard to let go in the way that he and I will be a family on our own too. I SOOOOOO wish I could go directly to the FAIL (hahaha I love that too btw)- but I have a feeling that will make it even worse. I'm thinking that my best bet is to find a time to sit down with my FI to get back on the same page, and then immediately go see FMIL together to sit with her and explain that we are in agreement on the no kids no exceptions rule, and that we are doing our best to be accomodating but at this point we need her to understand that the answer is no, it's a done deal, and we would appreciate it not being brought up again as well as appreciating her communicating this to her sister- or else we can call her and explain it ourselves. Especially since we're being more than accomodating. This way it's not FI stuck in the middle, because he's getting it from both ends- and this way she sees that he and I are united as a team and that this issue is 100% non-negotiable. I love the way you worded it too, with the manipulation and all. She keeps saying they have no one to watch him, so we offered to solve that problem and it's another problem (she doesn't want to leave him with anyone because of being attached blah blah blah)- seems like there's no pleasing this one.
@Miss Orchard: He's 2- and I almost considered trying to meet him before the wedding to assess the situation but then I realized how stupid that sounds- interviewing a 2 year old to see if I can make an exception for him coming to the wedding! We decided no kids because of exactly what you said, the running around and whatnot. I'm so easily distracted in regular life- I don't need a bunch of kids or even one kid piping up during our ceremony and taking away from our moment. Gosh that sounds selfish when I write it down but it's so important to me that it be about he and I, and that we get to really enjoy the moments together without unnecessary distractions. It just kills me that our own family (well, HIS own family lol) is just blatantly refusing to respect our wishes- especially since we have friends and family with multiple kids who are already agreeing to work with us.
@eryepye: I love the way you worded that too- because it's exactly how I feel- like I'm being deliberately disrespected every time she brings it up. I mean how many times we have to discuss this before it gets through her head is beyond me. Once I explained to my FI that making this exception is going to upset our other guests- especially HIS friends who have babies who we aren't making exceptions for- he seemed to really get it. I know guys don't think about it the same way we do- and I have a feeling he's so sick of hearing it that he just wants to do whatever he can to make it go away. While I get frustrated enough that I consider giving in, I know I can't because I don't want to and it will open the floodgates for other people. There will always be extenuating circumstances- that's what my FMIL doesn't seem to get.
I think that when we mail out the invitations to our guests I'm going to include a hand written note to guests who have kids saying something about how we hope they can come and here are a few numbers for excellent babysitters who will be on hand for little so-and-so during the wedding. This way there is absolutely zero confusion, and by making it personal and not pointing out who's not invited maybe it will go over more smoothly. I just don't want to deal with this nightmare for any other guests!
I really appreciate all your feedback too :) It's so nice to feel validated!!! And to vent- I can't even vent on my facebook because FMIL is on mine and she stalks me I swear! If I post anything seeming upset or annoyed about anything she calls me to ask what's wrong. I know she means well, but my goodness...
My FI and I are in almost the exact same situation! We are having a DW in Mexico and there are a couple of guests (FI's brother) who is pretty much insisting on bringing his kids. Well, our wedding is at an adults only resort. There are no children allowed, even for weddings. FBIL knew this from the start but is bringing the kids to MX with no sitter. They are staying at a different place and plan on bringing the kids??
FI and I have been all out of sorts abou this. We have finally come to the conclusion of (no kids are allowed anyway) but telling our wedding coordinator and hotel about the situation and making sure that no matter what, they are not allowed in (they really shouldn't be anyway since no kids allowed in hotel). And secondly, FI is going to have a very blunt convresation with him directly. He is going to tell him not to bring the kids to our wedding, and to please respect our wishes.We hate it since it's FI's brother, but they are being so weird and tacky about this. I seriously think it's a power trip thing. They agreed a long time ago that they would not bring the kids, and now don't want to leave them behind. The main reason is because the oldest one can't behave! I'm tinking, why are you bringing her to our wedding if she can't behave?
It's a few hours. It'snot her wedding. If she can't get a sitter, she shouldn't come! My advice although it is difficult and awkward, go straight to the problem and address it. I would call her and just talk to her about it. Let her know that there are no children allowed. Ask her what her plans for a sitter are. If she has none, let her know she will not be able to come in to the ceremony!
@TXbrideFW: I couidn't agree more- I presonally feel like it's all about a power trip for this woman. I like to reassure myself that she probably just loves this kid blah blah blah, but like you said- not her wedding, our wedding, and I think it's total BS- we are offering to pay for and accomodate the babysitter and everything- there's no damn reason! I'm trying to figure out a way to have someone at the wedding, like the ushers, who can quickly inform guests such as this one who show up with the kid in tow that it's not acceptable or allowed or whatever and escort them to the nearest babysitter! AND I so agree- it's a few god damned hours- not much to ask- seriously!
When push comes to shove, all I want to do is tell her to shove the kid up her a$$ seriously... but obviously I have to be more respectful than that. I almost wish I could be the zilla in this case
I would talk to the aunt directly. Tell her that you heard she was inquiring about bringing her son and unfortunately you cannot accomodate her request. Let your FMIl know that you've settled the issue with your aunt, and consider the issue closed.
Make sure you get FI on board, go talk to the MIL, and make it very clear that this woman will not want to be turned away at the door with a child who was not invited, so she needs to either agree to the babysitter or stay home. She can get as mad as she wants, but at the end of the day, she needs to learn to deal with the fact that its all or nothing, NO EXCEPTIONS
We dealt with the same thing at our wedding, and honestly, it gets old. Some people can't seem to get it through their heads that a wedding =/= family reunion
I talked with FI about it again last night- it's super frustrating because the conversation goes the same way every time. He doesn't want to talk about it, finally does talk about it, gets frustrated (we both do), and then I have to re-explain it AGAIN- and then he feels bad, and we agree.
This time he said he told his mom to stay the F out of it already- let it be his aunt's responsibility to figure her own stuff out. So at least we have him on board with it being a dead issue with FMIL. He doesn't have his aunt's phone #- and probably doesn't want to get it for me because he knows I'll take the matter into my own hands lol. So what I'm going to do is simple- and something I had already planned with the invitations anyway. At this point I'm leaving it alone unless it's brought up again- no need for FI and I to keep hashing it out. When I send the invitations I'm including the hand written notes as planned- especially so that I can let guests who have already booked rooms know how excited we are to have them come- and to include the babysitters phone numbers for guests with kids. FI won't be helping me with the invites- I'm planning on visiting my aunt and having her help me (she's the best, has 4 kids and insists on NOT bringing them lol- and has been helping me by fielding this info to everyone else in the family so I don't have to deal with it). SO for this FAIL (lol, I still love that), I'll put a note in saying "Dear FAIL, we were so excited to see that you have booked your room and will be joining us on our special day! We're excited to spend time with you and Caspian (said kid/nightmare) over the weekend. Here are the babysitters that can come to the Inn to party with Caspian while you have a blast at our wedding: (insert babysitters info). We know money's tight, so we will cover the cost of the babysitter for you, and sign it with x's and o's, and with my personal contact info if she has any questions- because at this point, I WANT the woman to call me and bitch- because I will dead the issue so damn fast her head will spin. This way we're not blatantly saying the kid's not invited, but we're pointing out that there are babysitters for a reason and that there's legit no excuse anymore. FI wanted to allow the kid at the reception- but I'm remaining firm in my no exceptions rule. This will eliminate the FMIL and FI as middle men, and direct her right to me- which is what I have on the wedding website ANYWAY (it says we respectfully request that children not attend the wedding, here are highly recommended babysitters who can come right to the Inn for the wedding, and if there are any issues please email the bride at blah blah)- I even set up a separate email account for it (don't want nightmare people with my personal email address lol)- but she decided to ignore that or didn't see it- who knows.
We'll see how it plays out. Do I have to tell FI about the note in the invitation you think? Any guests who have kids is getting a similar note- just not with the we will pay for it part lol. And it's not mean or disrespectful- he already knows I'm putting notes in the invitations anyway lol. Wish I could just have the note say "Please don't bring your damn kid- leave them with any of these babysitters. Thanks" lol! If only!
Listen to @julies1949's advice, shut her down with the same sentence everytime she brings it up. If she continues, you need to let her know she is being disrespectful and that you do not appreciate it and it will not be brought up again.
Honestly, who cares if FMIL's sister decides to leave because she's too "attached" to her grandson. People with this sense of entitlement baffle me. If it were me, I would have recinded the invitation to FMIL's sister. You want to behave like a 2 year old and have a temper tantrum? Consider this your time out, twit.
Funny how some adults think that by throwing their own temper tantrum, they can get their way. I'd let the aunt know that her kid will be sooooooooooooo bored since he'll be the only child at the wedding, with nobody else his age there to play with. Maybe throw in some words about how you think it's inappropriate to have a child around an open bar and intoxicated adults (if you're having alcohol at the wedding). Ultimately, I agree with the PPs about shutting the conversation down... you've given her the options several times: stay home or use the babysitter. She gets to pick one, and that's it. If she chooses to miss the wedding based on that, then it's on her conscience, not yours.
@ViaMinorViator: HAHAHAHA oh my gosh I think I should maybe have FAIL stay with the sitter too- never even thought of that! I love it! She really is basically throwing a tantrum- so irritating. I feel exactly that way- she has this sense of entitlement because of the circumstances surrounding why she has custody of her grandson. I get that she's been dealt a rough hand, but she's acting like she's a saint and should be given extra special treatment and privelages, and it's just not the case. I applaud her for taking her grandson into her home and raising him- but her tyrade is totally ridiculous and unnecessary- especially since we're already trying to work around her as it is.
@MadameTussaud: FI actually mentioned that today lol- he said that even if we made the exception and had him come he's going to be the only kid and be bored out of his mind- not to mention he'll see the other kids inside playing games, doing crafts, watching movies and eating pizza. I hadn't even thought about the alcohol thing- our wedding is literally cocktail hour themed with lots of appetizers and booze lol- so it really is inappropriate to have a toddler running amock.
We decided with the babysitter situation that we would get recommendations for babysitters from the venue and just post them- this way it's 110% the parents responsibility to get in touch with and make arrangements with them. I was going to hire them myself but then heaven forbid something goes wrong or what have you, I don't want to be held responsible for it. Most of my family is stoked that they don't have to bring their kids- and I have a feeling the handful that are in the wedding party will end up in with the sitter at some point during the reception anyway lol! I think that's what FMIL wasn't getting- there will not be any other kids there aside from the bridal party (think ring bearer/flower girl (each 4 years old) and a junior bridesmaid and groomsman (7 and 9 years old)- no other 2 year olds running around. Not to mention we don't exactly have the most kid-friendly menu going on either.
This is ridiculous. How 'entitled' are these women behaving!? Tbh I think you have every right now to be blunt. You've been polite and gracious and accomodating but if they refuse to listen then take an OP's advise and put your foot down. Don't feel bad about it either!
I'm feeling for you. The whole FMIL thing is annoying.... I hope it works out because its a not so fun situation. I'm not having kids at my wedding reception. I dont feel it's an environment for young children.
Yea she's making me nuts- I can't even vent about it (or anything) because she seems to always track down what I say. I vented on fb last night about something totally different and she called me to see if I was okay because she saw that I was "upset"- ugh. Then she mentioned that when she sees me she has a question for me. If it's about this again it'll be beyond easy for me to shut it down in a big way now. At this point, I'm so done being accommodating and tactful.
I just updated our wedding website too- I think I must have added the no kids verbage in like 3 places now- just to be safe- as well as the babysitter info- and I added that the Inn we're having it at has a 2 night minimum stay requirement too since FAIL (hahaha yea... still gets me every time) was convinced that she only booked for one night- which is literally impossible. I had included the link to our website in the Save the Dates but it seems like only a handful of people had actually gone on it- so I sent the link to whoever I had on facebook via private message (had considered just sharing it but lord knows people who aren't invited but are friends of ours on fb would be bent out of shape or would assume this meant they're invited too). I made sure to inlcude FMIL on it- just to be sure. Still waiting to see what she wants to ask me when she sees me... though I have a feeling it's her asking again about the same damn thing. *sigh*
I'm sorry you're going through this, that really sucks. I had something similar at my wedding - my mom was shocked we were even considering NOT having a children onyl wedding, and said that she thought it was understood that weddings are adults only events, and in her family as long as she can remember children are never invited - so I don't think it's true what people say about how the tradition has changed and weddings used to be family events. FMIL, on the other hand, wanted to walk down the aisle carrying her one year old grandson and setup his playpen in front of the head table. Yeah. She would of flipped if we hadn't invited children. In my case I caved but only because it was really important to my FI to have his nephew there.
However, in your situation your FI is on your side, which is great. I think he should be angry with his mom for daring to call to bother you about this right after your grandfather's funeral! I think you need to have one final serious talk with your FI about this - let him know you made the changes to the website, and that you want the two of you to be a united front here, and if his mom brings it up to say, "We have already discussed this and are not changing our minds, we are having an adult wedding and anyone bringing their child is welcome to use the babysitter. We will pay for the babysitter for Aunt X, but her child isn't invited to the wedding. That is our final decision."
I dont understand how anyone could possibly think it's okay to bring a child to a wedding reception where there is loud music and an open bar? Why not just bring your kid to a dance club? Makes no sense to me sorry.
I understand how you would want kids at the ceremony where two people come together and actually get married.. but the reception.. really?
FMIL'S and everyone else who tries to control any aspect of the wedding needs to get shut down.
Have to update- out of sheer joy- after all that nonsense! I did end up including a lovely hand written note in the invitation for the FAIL (hahaha I still love that) saying that we were so excited to see that she booked a room already and here's the babysitters info for little Caspien for the duration of the wedding and to email us with any questions or concerns. She had, about a month ago, stomped her feet at FMIL and said she was bringing the kid to the wedding and if anyone said anything to her she would just go home. Well, we got her RSVP back that she, and little Caspien, will not be coming. WOOHOOO!!!!! Hahaha- best RSVP I've gotten back so far. Made my whole day! In the end FMIL was on our side too- she was saying she can't believe how ridiculous her sister's being. I'm so glad that I stuck to my guns on this one- because I had to reinforce with some of my own family that kids really aren't allowed at our wedding (bridal party members not included- I had to have a flower girl lol!). Thank you all so much for your input and advice- really helped me work through it and deal with that heinous woman!
@SarahConnors: Good for you! I never understood why people think it's ok to do things like this. If kids aren't invited and you disagree with it, just don't go! Threatening to bring the kid or applying manipulative pressure or guilt is so wrong, and doesn't make you look any better. Ridiculous!
That's awesome! I'm glad it worked out for you! We're having several children attend the wedding and reception and I NEVER wanted that. However, FI's parents wouldn't drop it and it became a huge issue so I just let it go. All of the children are 10 and over (there are 6 kids total) except for one 5 year-old and one nine year-old who will be leaving by about 7.
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I'm fighting my FMIL on this issue- we are having a sort of DW (a 3 and 1/2 hour drive away), and we exclusively reserved our venue with the rooms in it for our guests for the weekend- 2 night minimum stay. I explicitly expressed to both of our families that people should feel free to come as families, room together, bring kids, whatever- but that children are absolutely not to attend the wedding- no exceptions- as agreed upon by FI and I. We have provided babysitter info far in advance. FMIL has been asking me to make exceptions, more like demanding, and no matter how many times I tactfully and respectfully explain that I can't make exceptions, she keeps bringing it up and causing tension between FI and I.
Basically- FMIL's sister adpoted her grandson, and there is no one else to watch him. I explained to FMIL that we have babysitters info and she can still bring him, but that for the duration of the wedding he will have to stay inside with the babysitter. She came back at me saying they can't afford babysitting (how they can afford a 2 night stay in VT blows my mind then, but whatever...), so we offered to cover the cost for this one particular child discreetly. FMIL then tells me that it's her only sister in the world, her "only living relative" and that the woman told her that she's bringing the toddler with her to the wedding, refusing to leave him with a sitter because she's "very attached" and that if anyone says one thing to her about it she'll just go the hell home. I mean COME ON!!! *sigh* FMIL was trying for 3 kids originally, but it seems like we're down to the one (for now at least) that she's fighting me on.
I know FI Iwants his mom to be happy, and I know he wants his aunt there- but he's never even met these kids! She thinks it would be good to have them there because they've never met and so they can meet their other cousins- how many times do I have to explain that it's a wedding and not a GD family reunion!? *sigh* He agrees with me, but then feels bad and gets bulldozed by his mom and comes back trying to get me to agree to make exceptions. I know it's not him talking- because when we decided to have a wedding we made the decision to exclude kids except for those in the wedding party together. My family and his friends combined would make almost 40 kids, so it's just not an option. My family is a lot larger than his, which is something he always seemed okay with- but then she gets on the phone and guilts him and nags him to death about it. He sticks up for me and agrees with me at first every time, and then she hammers him about it and he comes back to me all worked up. I know it's my FMIL talking when he comes back and is torn, and it's making me CRAZY! I want to call her and explain that while I understand, no is no, this is the last time I'm speaking about this and I would appreciate if she would stop asking as it's causing so much unnecessary stress and tension. There is a babysitter on the premises not ten feet from the actual wedding, so there is no reason this woman can't have the kid(s) with the babysitter during the wedding. It's unfair to tell my entire family and our friends that their kids who I know, love and wouldn't mind having there can't come but then allowing this 2 year old because of one stubborn obnoxious woman. My parents literally can't understand why it's even an issue since every other guest is respecting our wishes.
This issue just keeps coming up over and over again- I keep thinking I've taken care of it by explaining to my FMIL that there will be babysitting available right there and how we will even pay for it- and she seems to accept it, but then calls a month or two later and starts in on it all over again. I don't feel like I should have to make exceptions because we agreed in the beginning to making no exceptions because it's totally unnecessary! I'm afraid that I'm going to get to a point where I literally snap and tell them to shove this kid up their very attached a$$. And I hate that it's causing any kind of disagreement between FI and I. I love my FMIL- and she's been so great since I met her- but for some reason with the wedding stuff she is making me nuts- between the rehearsal dinner (her insisting that she invite an additional 8 to 10 people who are not involved in the ceremony at all), inviting all her friends, and most importantly this. I think I could even deal with the rest if not for this. We have friends with babies who will be 4 or 5 months old by the wedding date, and we have had to tell them no exceptions. Part of me starts to feel like is it worth fighting it so hard and maybe just give the hell in so it can be a dead issue already, but I really REALLY don't want to give in to this. It's not fair and makes no damn sense. GRRRRR!!!!
Sorry- I absolutely HAD to get that out!