Weddingbee boards

So my FI have been together for 3+ years and engaged for 6 months. He was with his ex before me for quite some time and they never got engaged.

So here's my deal. I have a program on my computer to monitor what my kids look and all that because I don't want them just pulling up porn or stuff like that.

Well I was checking the log the other day and noticed that my FI had been on my laptop (usually uses the downstairs PC) and it showed what he looked at. 3 different girls, one of which was his ex and another was a girl he went out with a couple times and she blew him off the other is some random one. So being the snoopy poop, I looked further back in the log and sure enough he has been pulling up their profiles on Facebook for quite some time. Not everyday but it looks like 1-2 times a week. When I look further back, about 1 year, it showed he had emailed 2 of them. One was to the girl he dated twice and said that she looked beautiful in all her pictures and he wished he would have taken her out a few more times. The other was to the random girl and all it said was Wow. He did recently email his ex but it was about a situation with his brother and SIL. And he told his ex that I was his soulmate.

Why do men feel the need to do stuff like this?

I guess my big concern is because my kids started daycamp and of course my kid would befriend this random girl's daughter. This would be the random girl he emailed Wow to. Anyway, I have my daughter introduce me to her new friend and her mom (this girl) was right there. I did make a point to say my Fi(said his name) and I live close by. I hate to be mean and nasty but she is really not that cute. She is one of those who is always at the bar and you can tell.

I guess I am just having an insecure day. I do love my FI but this makes me feel like he is settling with me and wishes he was given a chance with them

It was before we got engaged. It was over a year ago.

The ex email was because of his brother and wife. They caused huge drama between my FI and his brother because they asked to invite people we don't know to the wedding. His SIL said that his ex is better than me and all that. So FI emailed his ex and said that she should be friends with his bro's wife since his bro's wife thinks so highly of her. He told his ex that he was never ready to get married when they were together and he's ready with me and that I am his soul mate and all this other stuff. Basically saying that he is over her and he is happy with me.

It just makes me feel insecure that he is looking at these girls. He hasn't emailed them since the one time a year ago.

I don't want to confront him because then he will think I was snooping. Ok, well I was a little.

I guess I don't understand why guys feel the need to look at other girls. Once in awhile, fine I guess. But the same 2 over and over again?

I know he loves me and put a ring on my finger but come on.

Well, just to put things in perspective, I look at all SORTS of peoples' pages on Facebook, and it certainly doesn't mean I care for them - even a smidgen. I check out my ex every now and then. I check out his new wife. I check out other exes... just to see what they're up to. Granted, I don't talk to them, but when I get bored at work, sometimes I "check up" on people from my past!

He is still looking at them though. Just the other day he was on their pages. It's feels like he is obsessed with them.  I hate to think of what he does on the computer downstairs. I have the program on the laptop not the downstairs one.

I am ok with a little curiosity, but the same 2 girls over and over again? Especially when he had emailed them in the past.

It was over a year ago that he had emailed them. He still looks at their pages occasionally. Sometimes it's 1-2 a week and then he will go for awhile and not look.

He actually does not know I have it on there. It's my laptop and I pay for the internet so I saw no point in telling him.

I do love him and I know he wouldn't cheat on me but this really pisses me off. He tells everyone he loves and my kids, well then prove it.

I wish I had a way of confronting him about it but it will cause a huge fight and he will think I am spying on him. Im not. I only put that software on there because my older daughter, who is 10, was looking up things on You Tube that I considered highly inappropriate.

If I do tell him then he will accuse me of spying and saying that I put it on there to see what he's doing and all this.

Part of me wants to schedule a play date with the girl who's kids go to my daughters' day camp. I am sure he would sh** himself if she showed up at our house.

IM SORRY HE IS STILL LOOKING AT THEM! WHY WOULD HE FEEL THE NEED TO LOOK AT THEIR PROFILES? I DONT CARE WHAT THE EXCUSE IS BUT 1-2 TIMES A WEEK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? BIG NO NO FOR ME.

He does it when I am not home.

A couple of times a week?  That is weird.  Does he only look at their profiles or are they one of many? 

I just feel like you need to close the door on your past sometimes.

He pulls up their page and that's it. He doesn't look through their pics or anything.

I have looked at ex's before but not often. There are times when it looks like he hasn't looked at their page for awhile and then starts to look again. Niether one have given him the time of day. The one girl he took out a couple times before i met him she blew him off.

Before my DH and when not in a relationship, I would go through phases of being semi obsessed with past guys.  I would look up their info to see what they were doing, what has changed, etc.  I figured out it was best to go cold turkey and never look at them again and move on. 

I just think something is fishy and you have the right to say "Hey, what the heck is going on?"  I mean telling a girl "Oh, I wish I would have dated you more."? Seriously?  Sure he's told the ex you are his soulmate but he still looks them up weekly.