(Closed) Kind of a pissy craptackular day!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have to say you may be a better woman than me! I would be upset and angry if I found out that my FI was emailing and contacting his ex’s and random women. I feel that if he is truly satisfied with our life together than no other woman, especially an ex should be a thought to him. Maybe he feels a bit anxious now that you two are taking the step towards becoming husband and wife but I still think it’s inappropriate that he’s done that and that he has hidden it from you. Good Luck

Post # 6
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ahhh..I see. Sorry for the confusion then.

Well, at least you can rest easy regarding his ex. The fact that he spelled out for her that he is happy with you is a reassuring feeling. In regards to the other women, if he hasn’t emailed them in over a year than maybe it was a moment of panic for him. Maybe he knew he was getting ready to propose and just had that “cold feet” instance. And of course when he thought better of it, he knew you were the one. It’s definitely a tough situation and I can’t blame you for feeling insecure. Do you think confronting him would help you feel better?

Post # 8
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

It was over a year ago. I would leave it alone.

Post # 9
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, just to put things in perspective, I look at all SORTS of peoples’ pages on Facebook, and it certainly doesn’t mean I care for them – even a smidgen. I check out my ex every now and then. I check out his new wife. I check out other exes… just to see what they’re up to. Granted, I don’t talk to them, but when I get bored at work, sometimes I “check up” on people from my past!

Post # 12
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Wait, I’m confused. I thought you said it was a year ago that this was happening, but now you’re saying that he still looks at them. I don’t know how cool I would be with that. I think I might say something to him…even if it’s just to say you saw in the history that he was looking at these girls on facebook, and what is going on.

I mean, I admit, I look at my ex on facebook and his wife too, just to see what’s going on with them, but that definitely doesn’t mean I have any interest in them. And, my husband knows that I do that. He actually uses my facebook page to check out what’s going on with his ex’s too. It’s just out of morbid curiosity.

It does also bother me though that he was emailing these girls a year ago. Though you weren’t engaged then, he was still your boyfriend, correct? I wouldn’t be cool with that either. If you’re in a relationship with me, there shouldn’t be any reason for you to be emailing other girls letting them know how attractive you think they are.

Post # 14
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with 2peasinapod. It would bug me if he were looking at these girls once or twice a week, every week and also that he e-mailed them while you two were dating.

I would just ask him what on earth he is up to. I am assuming he knows you have this software to monitor your kids computer use. Just say you were checking that and noticed he has quite an interest in these two women…

Post # 16
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s never a bad time to let him know. It might make him stop using your laptop for these things, but I still think it’s worth finding out why he feels the need to look at these girls and contact them while you’re dating and now engaged. It just doesn’t sit well with me that he was telling other girls how beautiful they are. If my husband did that at any point while we were dating, I’d be pretty upset. I should be the only woman he’s saying those words to (unless he’s saying them to his mother or his daughter).

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