- 6 years ago
I asked FI last night, after seeing a discussion on open relationships & what people thought of them, what he would say if I wanted to partake in one.
I let him know that this was solely because I had seen it on here, and NOT because I actually wanted that kind of relationship; I don’t. But I was curious as to whether he would be alright with it or not. Well, he wasn’t, lol. But his reasoning was kind of interesting to me. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to ‘share’ me with anyone, or because he was worried I would get attached to someone else…it was because, as he put it, “I’m giving you my whole self. Everything; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the absolutely wonderful. That is what a relationship is to me-two people giving each other everything. If you split that up amongst more than two people, you sever the real meaning of the actual relationship between the first two. Every time you have sex with someone, it’s like you’re giving them a piece of you, whether you realize it or not. And I want you, but I want the whole of you, like I am giving you the whole of me. It isn’t fair for me to ask you to take bits and pieces of me and love me unconditionally; therefore, it wouldn’t be fair of you to ask that, either.”
I am in NO way demeaning those who have an open relationship; in fact, I’m totally alright with anyone who makes that choice for themselves. I just thought the only reason people didn’t want that type of relationship would be because of jealousy, or something similar to that, and it was really shocking that FI had a totally different, but definitely valid, reason for not wanting that for us.
Do any of your SO’s have similar beliefs, or is jealousy the main reason to not have an open relationship??