Post # 1
Hey Bees! I am new to this community and wondering if I am alone in how I am feeling.
So a friend and I got engaged around the same time. Set dates and her wedding is set before mine. We have a lot of similarities especially taste wise and I am slowly getting annoyed with the fact that having my wedding after hers I will look like a copycat. I would hate for that to happen. Maybe it is my ego but I want to be given credit for the things I like and spent months planning.
Are my feelings justified? Should I steer in another directions or should I hold strong to my vision that we happen to share?
Post # 3
@lolalovebee: I get so sad when I see these posts. You guys should be so excited for each other during this awesome time in your lives! Just b/c you have similar tastes doesn’t mean your weddings will be exactly the same!
My BFF got married 2 weeks before me, and my old roommate got married 3 weeks after me. We all had very similar tastes in things, but our weddings were different in our own ways. They were at different places and we had such a good time bouncing ideas off of each other. Try to focus on the happy part of the planning. You’re both getting married to wonderful men and are going to have very happy lives! Who cares if you both have high centerpieces?!?
Post # 4
I went to a wedding a month ago and was laughing because me and the bride (her husband is friends with My FI) essentially picked all the same things! Like exactly! She ended up friend requesting me and I took the opportunity to say “you have great taste!” lol! My FI however was annoyed and said that everyome was gonna think we copied them. I’d use her ideas as a jumping board to make yours even MORE personalized and unique. For example the other bride had manzanita centerpieces like I did and had orchids on it. Mine have flowers AND crystals on it. Not to “one up her” but it made it different enough in my mind.
Post # 5
I come from a city where 95% of the wedding take place in the same venue and in my opinion weddings will be different based on the couple.
I will do what III like, do not care who did it before or after and if friends or others feel the need to take credit etc, then oh well!
Post # 6
@Angelz_love: I have manzanita tree centerpieces too with crystals and candles…woohoo :):)
Post # 7
stay true to what you want.. They may be similar but you will remember the day you want!
Post # 8
Do what feels comfortable to you. Maybe that means sticking to your original ideas; maybe that means mixing it up a bit. Realistically, you’ll probably end up somewhere in the middle. No one will judge you on those similarities except narrow-minded, judgmental people— and they’re going to judge you no matter what you do, so no point in trying to please them! (Plus I think people like that are not your true friends and possibly don’t belong on the guest list anyway!)
Post # 9
I can relate. One of my good friends got engaged in May of last year and I got engaged in July. She is getting married in November 2012 and my wedding isn’t until August 2013. We have very similar tastes as well, and we ended up (without knowing it) picking the same “Will you be my bridesmaid” idea that we both found online…well my BM’s posted a pic on fb after they received them and I also posted pics and she and her BM’s basically called me out on it (passive aggresively) saying that I copied her basically. I was PISSED. She ended up apologizing the next day and deleted her ridiculous comment and swore she didn’t tell her BM’s to say anything…but whatever it was like beyond childish but NOW I am paranoid people are going to think I am “copying” her as well if anything is even similar at our weddings…luckily we don’t have the same guests but I just don’t want her friends seeing pics of my wedding later and think I copied her or HER think I copied her….I know our weddings are far enough apart that it doesn’t matter and I will know I am not copying her, but after she straight up called me out and pretty much said I copied her on the BM proposal thing I am definitely paranoid. I totally relate, but like everyone said just do what YOU want and if people want to say you copied your friend then forget them in the end who cares and just enjoy your day! 🙂
Post # 10
Have the wedding you want to have. Trust me, no one is going to be comparing your weddings. And if they do, they have some serious issues.
Post # 11
Even if you have similar tastes, your weddings will be different, so I think you should go with what you love. No two weddings are alike, and you’ll be resentful if you change your vision just so that people won’t compare your two weddings.
Post # 12
I won’t say whether or not your reaction is justified….that’s up to you. I will say that I don’t think you should be upset. You two are friends, and have the benefit of planning the most exciting day of your lives, together! You’re obviously going to have the same tastes, you’re friends and friends tend to like similar things! Even my BFF, who is like my polar opposite, picked out an engagement ring almost identical to mine without either of us knowing it LOL. Besides, unless both of you are having the exact same guest list…very few people will notice, and even less than that will actually care.
And, not to sound mean, but unless every single aspect of your wedding is a brand new never before seen wedding idea…you got the ideas from someone else and don’t ‘need’ the credit; whoever came up with the idea does. Don’t stress this, enjoy the fact that you have a friend who is also getting married!!
A very good friend of mine got engaged before I did, and I’m getting married first. Not only is she NOT jealous, but she has been the most helpful person I know! And when the time comes for her wedding, I’ll be right there helping her. I even offered to make her the same bouquet as mine for her wedding, since she loved it so much. It’s AWESOME having a friend who is going through the same things! Embrace it!
Post # 13
I am not jealous and am super excited for her, more like disappointed that a lot of the detail are similar. But you guys are right, no two weddings are the same.
Post # 14
I was at a wedding a few weeks ago- and we have similar tastes, so she did a lot of the same things I’m planning on doing. And I’m just excited that she offered to let me borrow anything she used for decor- so I don’t have to find it myself. So while we will have a lot of similarities- as others have said, you’ll find a way to make it your own!