(Closed) kind of confused about safe days sex/cycle situation? Ladies who try NFP help?(:

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok, first of all for some women there’s no such thing as ‘safe days’. All women have diferent cycles and it’s normal for some women to ovulate more than once a month, so you never know. Idealy your ovulation comes in the middle of your cycle. Example: My period it’s usually 28-30 days so my ovulation it’s likely day 14, so days 12-17 are unsafe.

If you don’t want to take your temp another option’s to check your vaginal mucus (not english speaker, don’t know the actual term. Sorry) when it’s white and sticky (not liquid and clear) you’re ovulating. Of course this method’s not entirely safe.

As for the period changes, as far as I know having sex doesn’t change your period per-se. Having said that, things like stress, sickness and extreme changes in your routine or your environment (something like moving somewhere with a dramatically different weather) can mess up your cycle and can delay it. I once missed a month of my period due to stress.

ETA: When you’re taking BCP the hormons in it control your period, so it likely won’t change. Also, when in BC your ‘safe days’ are supposed to be every day.

Post # 4
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

You should get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It explains about natural family planningvery well and will help clear up confusion. 

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

To answer your question: even if my cycle becomes screwed up , can I just practice the 8-19 day thing ?

The answer is no. That ‘8-19 thing’ is based on when you ovulate and how long sperm can live. If your cycle is ‘screwed up’ then you may be ovulating at a different time. Some sperm can live up to 7 days (hence day 1-7 is “okay” in a normal cycle and 8 onward is not since sperm from the first 7 days will die before you ovulate on day 14ish).

Therefore, if your cycle is not regular, neither is your ovulation date, and avoiding only day 8-19 is insufficient.

Post # 6
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know what “cycle beads” are, but I was just going to suggest downloading the iPeriod app for your phone.  I did it a year ago and love how easy it is the track my cycle and symptoms.

Post # 7
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Using “cycle beads” is an extremely unreliable way to practice NFP. (when your cycle gets messed up, then you are almost guaranteed to get pregnant!) The modern method of NFP is based actually on mainly your cervical mucus, and to learn the nuances of what is fertile and what is not, it is really best to take a class, or at the very least, read a book like Taking Charge of Your Fertility that was mentioned above. So, yes it sounds like days 8-19 approximately might be fertile for you, but you can’t rely on that, and you should get more familiar with your body to determine other factors that will show you if you ovulate on an unusual date.

Post # 8
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with PP’s that you need to do a lot more research on this, and cervical mucus is a better indicator.

Even if done correctly, for myself I won’t leave it up only to natural family planning, until I am at a place in life that we are ready to have a child if it happens. So I use birth control pills and condoms. Better safe than sorry for me! Plus, that way there are no days I have to avoid it, so it we strike a fancy we’re ready to go!

Post # 11
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@al1988:  You need to do some reading.  Ovulation test kids cost money and you can EASILY learn to track your symptoms for free. 

 

Post # 13
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you either need to commit to practicing NFP consistently (putting in the effort to learn about it, record temperatures, etc.), OR use another method of birth control, OR be open to a surprise baby. Using any birth control method halfway is not going to be effective.

Post # 14
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

ovulation kits are not 100% accurate and often times you can miss decting your surge. I would not waste money on them while not ttc. It adds up very fast.  I would sign up for fertility friend or use the free software that comes with taking charge of your fertility. Honestly charting with temps takes less than 90 seconds. You get a thermometer that records your last temp so you can sleepily take it then put it in the chart when you are more awake. 

Post # 16
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

You have to do it every day, just set an alarm. It does have to be in the morning and roughly the same time every morning. I used to set my alarm for around 5:00 am, I would take my temp and 90 seconds later I would be back asleep. You DH should actually help you with it and support it by reminding you also so he should know to wait 90 seconds for that kiss. It is also not the end of the world if the time is off once in a while, the online charts can adjust for that and what not.  It becomes as routine as brushing your teeth. 

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