Post # 1
Mainly I guess this is a vent, but if anyone has any tactful suggestions on how to deal with this I am all ears!
So I love my mom to pieces, but lately she’s been harassing me to go shopping with her…to get “sexy lingerie for you and FH to enjoy together on your wedding night.” Her words! Aack! Oh, that is just not something I want to do. I’ve tried saying things like “really, you don’t have to do that” and “Mom, that’s not necessary,” but for some reason she is hellbent on doing this.
Am I nuts? Would this weird anyone else out? There are lots of wedding related things I am enjoying doing with my mother, but sifting through the goodies at Agent Provacateur whilst fantasizing about “encounters” with my future hubby is just not one of them. Yipes! Anyone else got this problem?
Post # 3
This wouldn’t weird me out, but I have a pretty close relationship with my mom. Someone told me that traditionally this is what people did for pre-wedding parties. I recently went to a wedidng shower for a pretty traditional family and some of the female relatives got the bride (tasteful) lingerie.
If you are uncomfortable, just be honest and tell her so.
Post # 4
I luckily didn’t have that problem. Maybe you could ask if she could buy something for you, instead of going shopping together. Just outright tell her that it makes you really uncomfortable to shop for lingerie together.
Post # 5
Just tell her to pick something out and have it as a gift before you go to your bachlorette party or at your bridal shower.
For some reason my mom thought it was necessary for my bridal shower, a really weird looking piece too, and she’s really not that kind of lady. I donno, weddings make people weird, you just got to roll with it (though I wouldn’t do the shopping trip, let them roll on their own)
Post # 6
Maybe you could compromise and just hit a regular department store for some sort of lacy nightgown or something and not go full out? Then she’d be happy and you’d be… less uncomfortable with the situation. It’s sweet that she wants to help with all the “special” aspects of the day, and not just the wedding stuff. Don’t worry, a couple months back there was a girl who’s grandmother wanted to take her lingerie shopping! LOL!
Post # 7
I think it would be fun. But my mom and I may have a different type of relationship than you and yours. I went with my sister once and it was more of a giggle fest!
Post # 8
It wouldn’t bother me and it used to be traditional for a mother/family to help the bride with her bridal trousseau! Besides, mom took me for my first bra, so why not this too? I highly doubt your mom is thinking about your “encounters”, it’s more likely she just wants to buy pretty things for you! And hey, that stuff can be expensive, so let her!
Seriously though, if it makes you that uncomfortable, then just be honest with her and either ask for a gift card or, if you are doing a tropical honeymoon, ask her if you can shop together for fun beachy stuff!
Post # 9
It isn’t weird at all…just because she’s your Mom doesn’t mean she isn’t a woman too! lol I bought each of my daughters several pieces of lingerie for their bridal showers, as well as some beautiful silk nighties. I think you’re thinking it’s going to be more than it really is. It’s actually a tradition for the MOB to buy the wedding night ‘clothing’. Enjoy it! It won’t be horrible…I promise. 🙂
Post # 10
I believe some people think it is tradition that the bride’s mother purchases the wedding night lingerie.
Post # 11
I WOULD be weirded out if she was doing anythong other than suggesting something like… lol IDK, a simple white robe and a plain white silk full-length nightgown beneath. That would be okay, but if she started pointing out the garter belts and thongs, I’d start to lose it!
Post # 12
OK, thanks for the reality check ladies. I guess maybe I just need to calm down about this and realize it’s not such a big deal. I somehow had no idea this was a tradition! I’ve been to lingerie showers before with friends and had a great time. This is just not something I was prepared for.
I think one of my problems is that I grew up in a really strict and straight-laced household. Now I am not like that at all anymore (thank you, college, for loosening me up!) but I guess it’s just jarring going from “Don’t even think about letting a man touch you before marriage!” to “Let’s buy you some sexy things!”
@sweetest…that’s just it! If I thought it was just going to be simple things we’d be looking at I’d be fine, but all indications are that she wants to help me pick out some racy stuff.
I do think you all are right, though. I’ll take some deep breaths and try better to appreciate her involvement.
Post # 13
this probably wouldn’t bother me if i was in your shoes,….if said in a different way. hey, maybe she just wants you to hurry up and give her some grandkids LOL
Post # 14
lol Grody. I think you should go then make it embaressing for HER. Like..pick out some leather and whips and stuff.
My mom wouldn’t want to do this, it’d freak Her out. I think it’d be funny though.
Post # 15
Haven’t had this problem but could you just get some on your own then tell her sorry, you’ve already got some?!?!
Post # 16
Maybe she wants to use this opportunity to give you the “honeymoon talk” Too funny!