- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
It’s been 6months now since I got married and it has been really great with my husband. I love him so much and his family and I get along really great.
But since we became an item the girls that I considered to be my best girlfriends from church were against it. Not because he’s not a great guy, they’ve known him longer than I have and they even saw potential in us being together before we even knew.
The reason is because one of those girls was dating his brother on and off because her dad did not approve and ultimately lead to them breaking up.
I still don’t really get it to this day why this all had to happen, because they went back to dating secretly again anyway. But either way, that was around the same time my husband was trying to pursue me, but we were also the ones trying to console my friend and his brother.
They told us that it would be difficult for them if we got together so we did put off dating for a while. We waited around three months and then they started to see eachother again that’s when they started to tell us that they didn’t care what we did so we decided to go ahead with the relationship. But we found out that when they said they didn’t care they meant they did…
My friend’s father was also our pastor and my husband and I were going to him for counseling at the same time. He encouraged our relationship but told us to keep it on the downlow to be sensitive.
Since then it blew up and my friend asked me for distance and his brother became passive agressive and has even said that it shouldn’t be us getting together and that it should be them.
I know it sounds ridiculous and just straight out of some stupid teen drama… I was in shock.
Since my friend asked for distance the other girls in our group started to become distant, rude or would tell me that I should be more sensitive and that I shouldn’t have proceeded with my relationship until they were okay.
My husband proposed anyway, and we had our first kiss when he did. It was a bittersweet moment that I almost ruined by being so upset about my friends and he had to wait until I finished ranting so he could propose.
But on top of that, I had my non church friends that didn’t really accept me being Christian. And so the friend that I had since middle school who was going to be my maid of honor told me she would not attend my wedding. She didn’t really give me a good reason why but told another friend of mine that she just doesn’t see herself having anything in common with my husband so didn’t really see us being friends and that we’ve grown apart.
Since then it’s been a year and all those girls except the girl of the root cause of all this drama are now engaged. I’m happy for them but it kind of sucks that I can’t really celebrate with them since we’re not close anymore. I miss them a lot still.
My husband and I have left that church since all of this began. It was a small community and honestly we didn’t feel that the advice our pastor was giving us was helping the situation and it was just too close to family.
Luckily all the guys in the church.. who some of them just happens to be now engaged to those girls are still good friends with my husband and see them pretty regularily except for his brother who we only see during family dinners.
I know God has his plans and I have learned so much from all of this but I just really miss those girl times I used to have…I still have other great friends and love them but since going to a new church it’s been hard adjusting to a new community.