- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
A little backstory: FMIL is not the easiest person to get close to. She’s not mean or rude in any way, rather a bit (ok, very) awkward and from what I can see, quite manipulative. Coming from a home where my mom and I are best friends, the strained and uncomforatble relationship FMIL and FI have was a foreign concept I’ve accostomed myself to over the years.
Flash foward to wedding planning, I’m making an effort to include her in bridal and planning things since FI is an only child. But it’s difficult since we have no relationship really. What really gets me is she ONLY communicates through FI i.e. I’ll send her an email about something, florals for example, and she’ll mention it in a conversation with FI which he’ll relay to me which tells me she READ the email, she just chose not to answer me.
Also things like, “What is burlap doing as far as day of hair and makeup?” Um, you have my number and email address, why can’t you ask me directly?? He doesn’t know nor care!! This goes on all the time.
Where the saying one thing, do another comes in specifically is with a craft project that she requested to do. FI told her about something I wanted that she said she would “Love to do!” I thought that was sufficient, but then she was all over him like, “Well, I need to know what burlap wants b/c I have to go back to work next month…” and he was breathing down my neck about it, like I have nothing else to do. I could have ordered the thing off Etsy by now!
So I made it my business to sit down and write a long email to her exchanging pleasantries, showing her the proofs of the invites, day of hair and makeup arrangements, suggesting we get together for lunch and provided a pic of the craft project I wanted.
That was over a week ago!!! No reply, no acknowlegment. Not only that, but I mentioned in the email that for the hairstyle she wants, she schedule a trial. Then FI says to me, “I talked to my mom today and she doesn’t want to pay for a trial so she might do it herself.” THAT MEANS YOU READ MY EMAIL!!! She specifically referenced something I mentioned IN THE EMAIL!!!
Anyway, I’m over it. I’m tired of extending the olive branch with her and getting nothing in return. I have enough to take care of without having to consider her feelings or thoughts on things anymore. I spent quite a bit of time on the wording of the invitations since she and FFIL are bitterly divorced, so I sent her the proof to get her approval and guess what? No response so now we have 200 cards. OH WELL!!
Should I just order the piece off Etsy and call it a day or reach out to her AGAIN? I’m not in the game of chasing people down! Is that too passive-aggressive, or am I just getting things done?
#tired #overit #crazyFMIL #justhadtovent #happyfridaybees