Post # 1
So I invited a friend to our wedding and just received her RSVP back a couple days ago. She RSVP’d “no” – and nothing further. I didn’t really expect her to come knowing that it was a two-hour drive and she has a lot road anxiety, but we had discussed the wedding a couple times over the last year and she never let on that she wouldn’t be attending.
When the RSVP came back, I was kind of surprised to find that it had no note on it. We’ve received a lot with “yes” ticked-off and “we’re excited to see you there” written beside it, or “no” ticked-off and “sorry we can’t make it” written there. But she just ticked-off no, and there was no mention of it through email, facebook or text. Just no.
Could she be mad that we didn’t give her a date? We invited several other people she knows, and I know she’s not dating anyone so I didn’t think it was a big deal given how small our wedding is and how tight with numbers we are. I emailed her to say we’d received her RSVP and was sorry she couldn’t make it. No response yet.
Post # 3
@anonybee0810: Yes, you are taking it too personally.
Post # 4
No – Usually when I respond to RSVP’s and can’t make it I just check off the no and don’t elaborate.
Post # 6
I hated when people did that to me! I don’t think she’s being rude, just answering your question. It’s easy to take it as a slight, but I don’t think it’s personal at all. Just send her an email or text, ‘Just got your rsvp, sorry you can’t make it!’ and she’ll probably get back to you. It sucks, but that’s the way wedding planning goes.
Post # 7
You are definitely taking this too personally. We got a couple messages from people which was awesome but most “no’s” didn’t have notes. Like you said, you didn’t expect her to come so I’m not sure why you think she is mad.
Post # 8
I have never written anything in…don’t take it personally. Just b/c some people do it, doesn’t mean everyone will/has to. And I don’t agree with e-mailing her, trying to get an explanation or an apology for not coming. You’re overthinking this! Just move on and wait for all those happy Yesses!
Post # 9
@anonybee0810: I didn’t realize that no’s had to come with an additional response, an apology or a verifyable excuse. The options were yes or no. She chose one. That’s all she had to do.
Post # 10
I don’t think it was rude. At least you got an RSVP back!
Post # 11
She isn’t required to give you a reason. You gave the options. If you wanted a reason you should have written decline + a line for a reason. Though obviously this would be in poor taste.
Post # 12
you’re reading way too much into this. I NEVER write notes on RSVP cards and didn’t know people did this until I saw my own coming in. Even then, the vast majority of people do not write notes.
Post # 13
@anonybee0810: you are taking this way to personally. so far i have received 3 No’s and all of them just checked No.
i’m sure i’ll get a congrats card from the No’s closer to the wedding.
Post # 14
@anonybee0810: Maybe she did not know it would be considered “appropriate” to write a note. She also might be embarrassed about why she cannot attend.
Post # 15
Yup. You’re taking this too personally.
They don’t need to give you a reason. They’re not showing up, end of story. Just let it go and put them in the “no” pile.
ETA: I am also in the “Never write notes on RSVP Cards ever” club. I don’t see the point. I don’t need to say I’m excited to see someone there if I’m going and they’re going to be there too. I also have no need to validate or explain why I’m not going. So, chill.
Post # 16
You’re taking it too personally. And I agree that you should be happy that the person actually managed to RSVP instead of just not saying anything and then leaving you wondering for weeks.
I don’t think I would want to go into detail about why I couldn’t attend something either. It could end up getting awkward.