Post # 1
Hi fellow bees,
I haven’t posted in a while because after DH and I got married on 9/25, we got pregnant right away and hubby was in a police academy… anyway, I’ll get to the point. I have no idea what made me post here, but you’ve all given such great advice in the past, so I know that you will be able to help out. My sister-in-law is temporarily staying with us… yes, right there that’s a BIG mistake, but we won’t get in to that. After dinner last night, my sister-in-law was washing the dishes and she chipped the bowl that was a shower gift from my mom. When I confronted my SIL about it, she said and did nothing. I think that she should have offered to buy a new bowl. DH thinks that it’s just a “material” object and that I should just let it go. Problem is, I can’t. I’ve slept on it and I feel even more angry than I did last night because of how nobody but me wants to address the issue and feels like she’s wrong. I know that her lack of maturity and awareness is also part of the issue for me… I know that it’s a “material” object, but I imagined that beautiful Crate & Barrel bowl at many dinners yet to come… and chip-free!! Please let me know if I’m wrong because I can’t seem to let it go… it was from my mom on top of it!!! Thanks so much in advance… BTW, baby is due on July 8th…we were very lucky to not have any trouble in that department! 😉
Post # 3
Hmm…I would let this one go. I had almost the exact same thing happen to me, though my FSIL wasn’t staying with us. We had the entire family over for dinner, and they offered to do the dishes. She dropped the serving bowl from Crate & Barrel in the sink while washing it, and it chipped. It has since cracked all the way down the middle of the bowl and is unusable. She apologized, but didn’t think to offer to buy us a new bowl. And that’s fine…accidents happen. I could have just as easily been washing it, and it could’ve slipped out of my hands too.
I would just chalk it up as an accident and move on. Yes, it’s terribly unfortunate, but what’s to say it couldn’t have happened to you or your husband?
Post # 4
It was an accident. I don’t think she should have to buy a new one.
Post # 5
She was probably embarrassed, and it was an accident not an intentional slight. I’d let it go…whatever the bowl is worth is not worth having a bad relationship with SIL. Feel bad about the loss of the bowl, but not about SIL.
Post # 6
I know that sucks. We got a beautiful Crate and Barrel bowl from our registry and DH broke it when we were moving in to our new apartment. Elevator mishap, and whatnot. Not gonna lie, I had visions with this bowl and I was ticked off. Still am a little bit. So I get where you’re coming from. Did she apologize? It does owe an apology since it did mean a lot to you but it was an accident and familial relationships with your in laws are more important than the chip in the bowl, IMO. I would let it go and just try to release the hurt feelings.
Post # 7
I agree with PP. I would just let it go for now. I hate to be cliche but it could be part of pregnancy hormones. I know when I was pregnant a few months ago I would get upset over some things and now I look back and wonder why I was SO upset. I would give it a few days and rethink it.
Post # 9
I think you have to let it go. Accident happen. If it’s a Crate and Barrel bown then it can’t be very expensive to replace. I would just let it go and buy yourself a new one.
My mom recently broke a crate and barrel glass at our house and offered to replace it but I just thought it was obsurd. It’s an accident.
Post # 10
I’d let it go, it’s an accident.
Post # 11
My “sister-in-law to be” scratched the top of our dresser and broke several spikes off the back of our ceramic iguana. But we let it go. No use arguing or fighting over.
BUT I would never have her touch of our stuff again!
So if you have an issue with how she does the dishes, don’t let her do the dishes….
Post # 12
Wow most definately let it go, it was for pete’s sake just a bowl. Just go buy a new one…
Post # 13
Yeh I would let that one go. Is it possible your really angry because she’s over stayed her welcome? When someone’s stayed to long it sure get’s to me. She was probably embarrassed by your confrontation and didn’t know how to react. It seems like you may have overreacted a little. There are bigger problems and accidents happen!
Post # 14
I also think that you should let it go, but I do understand why you’re upset.
I’d be pissed that she didn’t mention it and I also think that she should have offered to replace it. If she had, I would have said “don’t worry about it; accidents happen”, but for that to happen, she should have been forthcoming. Now, you’re pissed she did it; you’re pissed she didn’t say anything; you’re pissed she didn’t offer to replace it AND you’re pissed because she’s staying at your place (that’s definitely got to be a big part of your anger).
Honestly, to me, the material value of the object wouldn’t really matter. You care about it, so it has lots of value. Accidents happen, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t admit to it and apologize when they do.
At the end of the day, you have to let this go.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Congrats on your baby to be!
I think you need to let it go. My roommate has chipped 2 of my C&B dishes (plate, bottom of a cup), AND he scratched a baking pan because he used a knife instead of a spatula (grr.) So believe me, I get it. Yes, she should have apologized, but she didn’t and probably won’t, so you’ll have to move on.
If you want to replace it and if it’s now a discontinued item, check with your store- they’ll be able to check their database and do a transfer, if needed.
Post # 16
seems like crate and barrel chip easily. Can you make it a planter? grow something so when you look at it- you see the thoughtfulness of your Mother and not the clutziness of your SIL?