Kind of wish we had eloped – any bees relate?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Chani:  Yes.  I wanted to elope from the beginning & still would have liked to now at this point.  FI wanted the big wedding.  I’m trying to make the best of it.  I don’t really look forward to tday wedding day.  I look forward to it being over.  And to being married.  

Post # 4
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Chani:  I’m the opposite of you. In the beginning stages of planning, I kept thinking how much easier it would be to elope or to have a very small, intimate wedding. I was so stressed and really unhappy with how much money it was costing. I also have just a few close friends and a pretty small family. I never pictured having a huge wedding. But, FI has a huge family and they are all local so we are expecting the majority of them to attend. He wanted everyone there and do have the traditional wedding.

However, at 2 months out now I am SO excited for our big-ish wedding and can’t wait to see everyone and enjoy every moment. I’m really happy that we are having this wedding and I think I would have felt like I was missing something without it. 

Post # 5
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I had the same feelings as you, I only wanted a wedding to wear my pretty dress. 2 months before our scheduled wedding I was just like you know what, I’d rather get eloped, and that’s what we did. I still wore my very expensive dress even though it was just the two of us, we had pictures taken and dinner afterwards. I loved how stressfree it all was. I don’t regret changing my mind about the wedding at all. If you don’t have a lot of money to lose then you should do it. Elopement doesn’t mean that you can’t look gorgeous and wear your awesome dress. 

Post # 6
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Chani:  Like every day. I’m a perfectionist and wedding planning is about the most nerve-wracking thing possible for a perfectionist. The moment I walk down the aisle and see my groom’s face, it will all be worth it…I just want that day to be here now so I can quit wigging out.

Post # 7
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Chani:  I hear you on the dress thing…I wanted a dress too.  So we had an extremely small ceremony, (25) people, and I got my dream dress, on clearance, and it was all good!  I think sometimes we get caught up in the Wedding Machine and feel obligated to do and buy things we don’t necessarily want because that’s how everyone else does it.

You gotta do what works for you, its never too late to get what you want!

Post # 8
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

@Nona99:  That sounds like exactly what we’re doing!

A small intimate wedding, only parents, siblings and grandparents (and their SO’s) then dinner at a nice restaurant after. And I am definitely wearing a big white dress!

 

@Chani:  OP I think there is a lot in between eloping and having a huge wedding. I totally get wanting to wear the dress because I do to! I think you’ll end up being happy with it because whatever you choose to do it’s YOUR wedding day 🙂

Post # 9
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Nona99:  Same here! I got married on the beach with 13 people total and I wore a beautiful Watters wedding dress. A wedding can be whatever you want it to be.:)

Post # 10
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it’s completely normal.  I felt the same way about my wedding.  I wanted a small, simple wedding from the beginning but it got bigger, more expensive and more complicated than I would have liked.  

Closer to the wedding, I just had to let go of some things.  I gave up some DIY projects, gave some things to my FI to do (he did well on some things but really bad at others!) and left some decisions to my vendors (who were amazing 🙂 

In the end, it was stressful but I’m married now and while not everything was perfect, it was still a nice event.  I try not to worry about the what ifs! I’ve heard married people say they regret having a big weddding or regret eloping…etc.  I think it’s really what you make it. 

Post # 11
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We eloped because we got tired of everyone planning our wedding. It was the best day ever. I am so glad it was something special between the two of us!

Post # 12
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur

All I cared about was getting to wear my beautiful dress! Who says you can’t when you elope? I am wearing mine and the only other ppl who may potentially be there is our mom’s and maybe my brother.

Post # 13
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@blushpinkbride:  That is so me. I haven’t slept a full night sleep just thinking about everything, and I mean everything that has to be planned to perfection for my wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I wanted to elope so badly. Or else have the tiniest city hall wedding. I didn’t want the big production. I fell into a deep depression about a month before the wedding because of it.

But you know what? The wedding was amazing. Every little thing I worried about wasn’t a big deal on the day of. I was so happy. 

In hindsight, I would have still loved to elope, but I am also glad I had the wedding.

Stress is normal. Worries are normal. Unless it’s making your health fail, keep going and focus on the positives!

Post # 15
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s definitely normal. Just a couple months into planning, I broke down in front of FI and started crying because of wedding stress, and we seriously considered doing a 30-person wedding that summer instead of the 120+  guest production we’re having this summer. I still fantasize about that sometimes when I get stressed out, but we figure you can only really have the giant party once, and once it’s over with we’ll be married,  and we’ll have a lot of presents 😛

Post # 16
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t need to have guests to wear a beautiful gown.

It makes me rather sad to see how often brides have a style of wedding they really don’t want just to justify wearing a wedding dress. It’s as if the dress is mainly for the guests, and a lack of guests means getting married in your everyday clothes or a dress that serves its purpose and nothing more. That’s not how it has to be. 

A woman could have a private ceremony, just her and the groom, and wear a $1,000.00 gown. I see that all the time. It’s not wasteful or selfish, or any of the other things people like to call it, it’s just a bride wearing what she wants to wear on a very important day in her life. 

An elopement or private ceremony (they are not the same thing) doesn’t have to take place at a courthouse or cost as little as possible. They can be as luxurious as any wedding with guests. They can be whatever you want them to be. With an elopement or private ceremony, the sky is the limit, and you really can have any type of wedding you want wearing any type of dress you want. 

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