Post # 1
(this is a made-up account i registered for sensitive posts)
So I don’t actually *have* genital herpes but reading that other post about someone having herpes without realizing it freaked me out a bit.
And yes as a DISCLAIMER I do not know a lot about getting tested for STIs etc etc because my SO and I both are virgins have not been sexually active (and on top of that are super long distance, so everything has been on the phone). We’ll be “doing the deed” on our wedding night.
I feel like I am less enthusiastic about sex now because of the likelihood of me getting
1) Genital herpes passed on by my SO’s tendency to get cold sores, which, if i’m not mistaken, is caused by herpes simplex 1 (I’m talking about passing the virus to ladybits through oral…which he likes)
2) UTIs from sex
I have always been a healthy clean gal with no infections of this kind and I’m feeling like… “darn, marriage is gonna mean sharing *EVERYTHING* with my man, including infections” lol.
The herpes thing kinda got me down because i naively thought that we would be safe from anything like that since we’re both virgins.
Well I guess that’s all… just venting I guess. Can anyone else relate? Also feel free to enighten me with your health wisdom. N00b status here.
Post # 3
I can’t help you with the herpes thing, but a good way to prevent UTIs is by peeing right after sex. It’s not the most romantic thing, but it works..LOL.
Post # 4
@poppygirl16: I had a UTI once from sex…it was bad but honestly it’s not the end of the world. You take meds, you get better. Ta-da! It’s just scary to see blood in the toilet but it’s really not so bad once you get the medicine. Pee after sex and be clean(don’t use harsh soaps) and you’re fine. I got it because I did A—>V by accident. Bad idea.
As for herpes, it’s pretty uncommon to get genital herpes that way. Herpes really “prefers” the area it’s meant to go, and if you haven’t gotten it from kissing your SO, most likely you already have the virus in your system (or at least antibodies for it) and are thus unlikely to get it from oral. I have only heard of that happening to one person…the other people I know with genital herpes got it from parnters who had genital herpes.
Post # 5
Does he get the cold sores often? How long has he been getting them? Would he been open to the idea of taking Valtrex as a preventative for a while?
I get cold sores from time to time. (not on the nether regions, just my mouth). When I first got them, I had more frequent outbreaks. I used to just take the Valtrex when I had one. After several, I asked the doctor about taking the Valtrex daily for a while. I did it for about a year. I had maybe one sore during that time. I’ve stopped taking it daily for about 6 months now and have not had one yet. FWIW, my husband has not picked up the virus at all.
As far as protecting yourself, ask him to tell you when he feels his lip start to tingle. Don’t kiss, share cups, silverware, etc. Not until his sore is completely healed. That’s really all you can do to prevent him spreading it to you.
The herpes virus is actually really, really common. You may have been exposed to it already and it’s just dormant.
hope that helps.
ETA: regarding passing the “oral” type to the gentials and vice versa: this is actually very common. I saw the doctor when I had my first cold sore. She swabbed it and was able to tell me it was HSV1 (the cold sore one) but gave me a lot of info about being careful about oral sex and HSV. It only needs contact with bodily fluids or an open wound to get into the body. I knew a girl who would get cold sores on her back/shoulder area. She had a small cut and he Boyfriend or Best Friend kissed her shoulder. She got sores there. I’m not trying to fear monger-but do inform yourself. Talk to you doctor if you have concerns.
Post # 6
@beetee123: Thanks for that tip I will have to remember that one. I think I have read it here and there…
@anon00: OK reading that has calmed me down a bit, lol. thanks
@MrsPaulsBabyBallerina: totally helps. he seems to get cold sores oh… gosh i haven’t been recording but it’s probably 2-3 times a year or something. I’ll have to look into Valtrex. And it’s good to know that your husband hasn’t gotten it from you! (presuming that there was some mouth-to-nether-region contact as well)
Post # 7
I’m a UTI champ. Pee right before and right after sex, and make sure you always wear loose, comfortable underwear and wipe front to back.
If you do get one, just get to the doctor asap for antibiotics. It hurts, but it’s bearable (with booze.)
Post # 8
I do seem to get UTIs more often now, but they are never bad enough to go to the doctor. Like I will have definite UTI symptoms for 1-2 days then they go away with just cranberry juice.
Post # 9
@poppygirl16: about 90% of the population has had a cold sore at least once in their life. It’s pretty much impossible for you to find anyone who’s never had it. You likely have had it in the past too. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just don’t have oral sex while he has an active cold sore. Just use basic common sense, you know? Don’t touch cold sores, and you will be fine.
Post # 10
I get cold sores once in awhile, I’ve never passed it along. It’s incredibly unlikely that you’ll get anything as long as he doesn’t go down there when he’s got an active one. Like seriously almost definitely not gonna happen.
I have an active sex life and have never had a UTI. Be sensible – pee after sex, don’t be dehydrated, don’t change downstairs orifices mid-way, don’t be a sugar addict, and your chances are vastly diminished. You say you’re healthy and not prone to that kind of thing, so you’re probably not going to get it from sex either as long as you aren’t totally careless.
Post # 11
I’ve had a lot of chronic health issues. Darling Husband has had cold sores, but I haven’t had a problem yet *knock on wood*
I also get a lot of UTIs due to issues with my kidneys, but haven’t gotten one from sex.
Post # 12
Thanks for the reassurance, ladies–I feel more at ease now. I thought that he’d give me herpes going down on me even without an active cold sore, since the virus is “latent” most of the time and all. but yeah… ok… phew. thanks for the tips!
Post # 13
If you DO get a UTI, in addition to drinking drinking water water until you can get to the doctor, it also helps to take TUMS. Something about the calcium making your pee less acidic, or something. I don’t know.
Post # 14
good to know for sure … taking notes!
Post # 15
There are cranberry pills you can take that are great. I take them if I feel any UTI-type symptoms coming on and I haven’t gotten one in ages.