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You still have 3 months, thats plenty of time for everything, so keep telling yourself that:) I know how it feels when you think of all the details but just focus on ONE detail at a time, complete it, then cross it off the list and go to the next. It is very overwhelming to think of ALL the details at once - I also do this too often:-|
Too bad we cant just take a leave from work, right? haha.
Thanks! I do try to focus on one thing at a time, but the thought of all the other things that are looming stress me out. If only I could take a leave from work, paid. I know I'll get through it; I'm just tired of planning and I want to just be married already. I'm feeling like it's not worth having a wedding, but I think when I look back, I'll be glad we did. We didn't hire a coordinator; I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I just had a big crafting weekend with friends and family. I thought I'd feel so accomplished but I don't. I think it might help me to break down my tasks and write them out on a calendar so it seems more doable instead of just a bunch of tasks on a list without seeing when I'll have time to do them.
I'm sorry that you are not getting the support/responses from people on the wedding. Hang in there!
We all feel that way sometimes. My officiant just cancelled on me and my wedding is October 2nd. I'm scrambling to find a new one and my dad says "oh, your uncle knows this bartender who can perform wedding ceremonies". It took everything I had in me to kindly say, "thanks Dad, I'll think about it if I cannot find another option".
your wedding is not the most important thing to everyone around you. get over it.
"please avoid personal attacks and snarkiness"
all i know is that next time i'm a bridesmaid, if there's a next time, i will know what to do, what questions to ask, etc. i never knew how hard it was to plan a wedding w/o a coordinator, and it's BYO practically everything, except tables and chairs, which are included.
Ms. Figales I don't think that christie was trying to personally attack you. I think that she gave you some honest (albeit not what you wanted to hear advice).
Your wedding is not as important too others as it is to you. I do think you are blowing things out of proportion and you are still three months out.
It will all come together - your friends do care but you have to cut them some slack.
Take a step back and try to get some perspective on the situation.
I see your point, but I don't think I'll be able to do that until after the wedding. There are so many details; I feel really overwhelemed; people offer to help but don't follow through when I ask them to help; i have to keep reminding them and it's just more for me to remember to do; I might as well do it myself. I know people are busy; so am I; I stay up late every night; I'll be glad when it's all over and I can get a good night's sleep and not have to bother anyone with helping. In the meantime, I just try to take thing one at a time and remember that it's just one day and oh well if it doesn't happen the way I wanted.
@Ms. Figales: Ok speaking from EXPERIENCE (my wedding is next weekend), you are not blowing things out of proportion. The thing is, people don't care about your wedding as much as you do, and most people don't really care period. It's SO discouraging when BMs don't respond, don't remember anything, offer to help, and then don't follow through. It's not really that you're exaggerating, it's that you have a thousand things to do and when a bunch of little things come up at once, it's stressful. Is it that serious that people don't respond? No. But it is when EVERYONE does it and when YOU have soooooooo many other things to think about. I totally understand.
You people who are getting married in 2011, give her a break. When it gets closer, there's a lot more to be stressed out about. God luck everyone!
Haha, I feel in a similar situation, only not as stressed yet.
I’m planning my wedding in my hometown from abroad, and while my mother reads my emails, she will contradict herself about what is a good idea and what is not. (One week she’ll suggest something, the next week she thinks it’s a horrible idea and how could I like it?) My SIL said she would help my mom do lots of the planning, but she has a new 1st baby, so she is MIA all the time. She’ll write an email saying she’ll respond later when she has more time, and then maybe a month later I will get a response about something.
I only have one BM, my MOH, and she completely ignores my emails about dresses or planning. I was really excited about dress shopping, but couldn’t do it with her and she told me to send her things online and said in person that she was excited about discussing colour schemes and such, but after she didn’t respond to multiple messages where I asked her opinion or even what’s going on with her life, I gave up. My wedding is far off, so I’m not going to try and ask her about what she wants to wear as a MOH, but I’m sure I’ll be stressing about it at the 3 month mark!
But surprisingly, I’m not that stressed. Maybe it’s because I still have 14 months left and I already have my venue, church, dress/veil/underskirt settled. (Ok, the dress part is almost settled, but I already bought one!) And I know I personally won’t be making or buying centrepieces from my country... so part of me is relieved.
Anyway, I guess just try to keep and mind that whatever happens you'll be marrying your love and everybody should find a way to have a nice time even if the lilies in the flower centerpiecese aren't the right shade, or what. Also, I do remember being a MOH for my sister and not caring about her wedding like at all. (Every time we did something like plan a nice wedding shower or bachelorette party she would cry about it afterward) so I def try to keep in mind that the only one who cares about this wedding is me, my FI and my mother. I mean the rest of the family probably wants it to be nice, but us three are the only ones that would be bothered if something went wrong like I couldn't bustle my dress or the cake was delivered smooshed or whatnot.
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3 months away from the wedding and I'm really stressing. There's so many little details; I feel really overwhelmed. FI helps but I have to bug him to get things done, which isn't helping it's just adding another thing to remember. I'm short on patience.
1) My MOH texted me the other day, "what date is the wedding?" I responded back with our date and she texted back, "I was just testing you." Did she really think I wouldn't know my own wedding date? She's hard to get a hold of because she just had a baby and has not been all that supportive through the planning process, but I understand that she has a lot going on. I know I can't compete with her 1st baby. My mom has been my main support system, but that text just really annoyed me. She really has no idea what I'm going through.
2) I send emails and people don't read! Repeatedly, I've sent an email and people ask me about the details that I specifically stated in the email. I feel like I'm just wasting my time keeping everyone in the loop.
3) My SIL was having my nephew, her son who's 11 yrs. old, text me quesions about the wedding. Initially I asked what her email was and she told me just to email my brother at work, so that's what I had been doing. I sent at least 3 wedding-related emails. Yesterday, I get two texts from my nephew about stuff that I had emailed. I called and left a message asking if she had gotten my emails, turns out they have a new email. Yes they share an email. They do EVERYTHING together it's annoying and weird, but that's another rant. There were two other BMs who got new emails and didn't tell me until I happened to ask.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I wish I could scream, but I'm at work, not working. I'm probably blowing things out of proportion because I'm exhausted and stressed, but I just had to vent. Please tell me your thoughts.