Post # 1
After looking and looking, I finally found an officiant who seemed to be acceptable and affordable. Since I can’t meet with him face to face before the ceremony and need to hurry and book someone soon, I was trying to get a feel for his personality via email (I asked him if he had any videos of weddings he had done and he said no) and I asked him if he could describe his style and approach to officiating.
Like, it would really annoy me if he’s the kind of person who tries to be a stand-up comedian, but at the same time, I don’t want someone who is totally monotonous and boring, either. And he just keeps dodging around the question and never really giving me an idea what he is like or if he is right for us.
He also takes several days to reply to an email, which makes me wonder how seriously he takes his job.
Is this a sign that I should forget about using this guy and try to find someone else or am I expecting too much? Did anyone else have primarily or exclusively email contact with the officiant prior to the wedding and if so, what was your experience like?
How important is it to have an officiant that you “click” with?
Post # 3
@Edelweiss: I would ask him for refrences from other couples he officiated for, and ask their opinions.
Post # 4
Could you skype with him? At least that way you could see him and get a feel for how he communicates.
Post # 5
It’s a 15 hour time difference, which makes Skype really hard. It means one of us either has to stay up really late or get up really early. The call quality with Skype is also very poor and it’s hard to understand each other. And tbh, it really bothers me that this guy (and other wedding service people, too) know that I’m abroad and that email is really the best way to communicate and just kind of half ignore me. Like, do they want my money or not? Is it really that hard to email a potential customer? It makes me wonder, if they can’t even bother to email me with answers to my questions, how do I know they will even show up at all or remember any instructions I’ve given them?
Post # 6
Might this be a case of you viewing this as a vendor-customer interaction while he views it as something else?
I don’t know, because maybe it very much is a vendor-customer thing if this person makes a big part of their livelihood as a wedding officiant. If this is a side activity for the person, though, or if it’s a justice of the peace or a clergy person, then I can definitely understand them not feeling the need to sell themselves and their services, and not having a ready answer to “what is your style and approach to weddings” – they are not performers, and officiating weddings is just one of their many responsibilities. It could also be that since you are so far away they are not certain whether you are a “serious” customer … again, just speculating.
Post # 7
My advice go with your instincts. If you don’t feel that this person is the right one then look for someone else. I always tell the brides and grooms I communicate with that if they are not comfortable with me then I am the wrong Officiant for them.
So email other officiants, read reviews and see if you can find someone that make you feel comfortable. Because everyone should have a kind, relaxing and comforting person to be officiating their ceremony. You should feel like they are a new friend that you just “clicked” with, in my opinion. So go with your instincts.
On a side note: I personally do not have any videos, but I do have reviews. I admit I would hate to give a reference to anyone. I take the privacy of the couples I work with seriously.
One more thing, the right Officiant will not mind staying up to Skype with you/ or take a call from you. They will find it a wonderful experience to be working with you.