Post # 1
So I am a very small person– significantly underweight (not by choice, just by a very fast metabolism and small frame). They always have to use the child-size blood pressure cuff to take my blood pressure…
So I had my first physical ever on Monday (shudder) and the doctor did a pap smear with the infant speculum because the adult size was too big. He also said my hymen was too tight for him to even fit his finger all the way in. My Fiance and are waiting until marriage to have sex and we are going on a two week long honeymoon. (yay!) He said he would feel really paranoid our first time if he had to break the hymen because he doesn’t want to hurt me, so we decided for me to have a hymenotomy where the doctor cuts the hymen to open it up a bit.
But I’m really nervous! Mostly because I hate the idea of any man except my husband seeing me naked, but also a little nervous about the procedure. Dr. says he sticks two needles in first then does the snipping… sorry if this is too much info… I’m just pretty nervous about it.
Any positive stories/experiences with this procedure?
Post # 3
I haven’t had this procedure, but I don’t think breaking the hymen hurts that bad. It happens to a lot of women from just using a tampon. My first time having sex hurt, but not terribly bad. Fiance broke my hymen that time because I bled a little. A hysterectomy seems a little intense to avoid painful first intercourse.
Post # 4
I don’t have any experience but rest assured that you don’t need to feel uncomfortable in frontof your doctor, he wont be interested in seeing you naked, just getting his job done. Also, some advice.. the first time ALWAYS hurts but if you are extra small/tight down there, it will hurt a LOT! Make sure he spends a lot of time “loosening you up”, it’ll make it hurt less. and don’t be surprised if it doesn’t fit the first time, because it may not.
Post # 5
@FutureMrsMcDermott:I don’t think she said she’s having a hysterectomy… it’s a hymenotomy. I’d never heard of it till reading this post, but the way she described it, I’m pretty sure that the doc is just cutting her hymen, not removing her uterus.
OP– I’ve never heard of the procedure, but I’m sure everything will go well. It hurt when I lost my virginity, but it wasn’t too bad. I have a small frame, but I’m probably not nearly as small as you are from your description, so your experience will probably be different than mine. Especially since you said the doc couldn’t even fit a finger in.. I hope everything goes well!
Post # 6
I had a hymenectomy (hymenotomy?) in my mid-teens. As much as is possible, don’t worry about the doctor seeing you without clothes; the doc is definitely not making that connection–it’s what that type of doctor sees all day! The procedure also was much less painful (it was really not bad) than I’d anticipated.
I will say, it is a procedure that can make you feel extremely vulnerable; make sure you have someone you love and trust there to take you home afterward, and treat yourself with extra kindness for a few days afterward. You will be okay!
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for the support!
Just for clarification–the doctor isn’t taking anything out of my body, just cutting the hymen so it’s not so tight. Glad to know I’m not the only one out there like this.
I know the doctor isn’t “interested” in seeing me naked. It’s just awkward because I’m a very modest person and (if I had cleavage) it would be awkward for me to show any, don’t really wear short shorts (stay around knee-length, etc. So the awkwardness with the doctor stems from being very careful to protect the private parts of my body from anyone for so long then just having to lay it open. It’s a vulnerable place for me.
My Fiance will be in the waiting room along with his sister and mom whom I am very close to. He is so sweet and taking the whole day off work just to be there for me. But I definitely smell ice cream coming after the procedure!
Post # 8
I considered having it done myself, actually, but never actually got around to it. My dr had no trouble with performing paps on me, so I figured it wouldn’t be any different. If your dr is having trouble even performing paps, I think it’s probably medically necessary so that your first time isn’t awful or you don’t tear so far that you bleed profusely.
My first time on our honeymoon was still painful, but after everything healed up down there, it was just fine! So, be prepared to still have some pain. Your hymen may stretch/break further than where your dr cuts it, but hopefully it will alleviate what you WOULD have felt!
Just a tip: take an ice pack on your honeymoon! I used a bottle of tea from our fridge, and it helped with the soreness I felt on the first few days. And don’t use tampons to control your bleeding. You could get an infection from the fibers getting into the ‘wounds’. Use pantiliners and bring old undies to absorb any fluids/blood the first few times.
Post # 9
@Miss Galaxy: I’m the same as you – very modest and my gyno always has to use teeny tools because I’m so small. I just remember that my gyno has seen a million women naked and they try to be as respectful of your privacy as possible. Breaking your hymen isn’t exactly fun (mine broke before my first time having intercourse), but your first time having sex will give you some discomfort with or without it. I think having your doctor cut it is a really good idea and will make having sex on your honeymoon a lot less painful. It’s really sweet that your Fiance is concerned and wants to make it as comfortable as possible for you 🙂
Have you considered buying some KY for your honeymoon? It really helps my poor tiny vagina accomodate my FH’s size. I second the icepack idea as well!
Post # 10
@piglet_625: taking an ice pack sounds like a really good idea! Thanks! I would not have thought about doing that. May I ask about how long it took you to heal? And I never use tampons! They hurt so bad! Maybe after the procedure and the “recovery” from it I can finally use them for my period! 🙂
@SBourgeous: Thanks for the support! I’m not exactly sure what KY is? (sorry…I’m pretty sheltered when it comes to sex…my parents think it’s the bad s word and I went to private school, so no info there, so anything I know basically I learned on my own) 🙂
Procedure is tomorrow! :/ Positive thoughts/prayers are appreciated! (I know, it’s not that big a deal, but for me it is…)
Post # 11
I just wanted to jump in and mention this, in case this is still the situation for you after getting hitched and having your first time.
There is a condition called vaginismus where when a woman is uncomfortable with the idea of sex, taught to be afraid of it, or just uninformed about how it works, her pelvic floor muscles unconsciously contract and make intercourse (or penetration with a speculum or tampon etc) really, really painful if not impossible. Usually a woman first realizes something is wrong when she can’t insert a tampon or have a pap or insert a finger. The space is not actually that small, it’s just that the muscles are (unintentionally) clenched.
Sometimes doctors suggest cutting the hymen for that condition, when really what’s needed is physical therapy. The cure rate is very high. But it can be hard to get it diagnosed because a lot docs don’t understand it or even know it exists. There’s a website, vaginismus.com, that explains more.
I am sure if your doctor has looked at you and said the issue is your hymen, that’s what’s going on. I just wanted to mention it just in case.
Post # 12
@Miss Galaxy: You’ll be fine, but good luck just in case. 🙂
Post # 13
I have a difficult time usng tampons as well. I saw my GYNO a few weeks ago for the first time and he couldnt even get the tool in there, ugh it was awful. He suggested I start using tampons to stretch out the vagina so that when I do have sex it will be less painful. Hope it goes well for you.
Post # 14
I am having this done soon so am curious as to how the procedure went. Did it hurt? Were you in pain? How long was the recovery?
Post # 14
Miss Galaxy: ping me to discuss
Post # 15
The procedure will go fine! It may seem very evasive but it seems simple and they don’t have to cut you open or anything like that. I’m not sure how much more comfortable sex will be the first time without the hymen though. My first time was just uncomfortable not painful, but just different. I think you will still get that feeling regardless. Good luck bee!
Also, please don’t worry about your doctor. If you feel uncomfortable the whole procedure will not be pleasant (not that it will be to begin with but it will just make it worse). Try to relax and trust your doctor.