Post # 1
So My love went OOT to visit his family this weekend. I’m so happy he got to spend time with his family, but I do get panic attacks when I’m all alone, so I set meself up to work.
Well work wanted to be “nice” and schedualed me off. So I think I dealed with everything great! No panic attacks, very little anxiety, worked through when little I did have. The plan for me was stay busy and I surrounded myself with my favorite things.
I ate a lot (Uh oh! Gained 2 pounds :O) Watched TV, played some games, and slept fine! This is big for me, as I had a great trauma and suffered from PTSD for a while. being all alone in an apartment is hard.
I called him once becasue there was a monstrous bug and I freaked out and cound’t find the bug spray, The call lasted 2 minutes.
No calls all weekend to check on me, see how I was doing, not even a message to say goodnight. I didn’t even get a text message.
He should be home soonish (I think, I don’t even know when he’s leaving) and I’m hurt, but i don’t want to tell him that. He hates seeing me upset and I really wanted to overcome this demon. But he could have at least sent me a text message.
Not even an I miss you.
Post # 3
I would not think anything of this at all. You talked once. But it would not bother me to not talk to DH for a day or two.
Post # 4
It’s still Sunday, maybe he’ll call you on the trip home? I think that guys do just need space sometimes, and hopefully you two can have a nice Sunday evening to round out the weekend. I think it’s okay to go a day without contact, he was probably catching up with his family.
Post # 5
@MissFireFlower: Everyone needs a little time to themselves, don’t take it personal. My BF is out of town on a golf trip for 5 days. He called and texted everyday and I still miss him, he will be home tonight too. Try to let it go, eveyone needs some time to relax without always considering another person. A text here and there would have been nice though. I think you can calmly mention it in the next few days without making a big deal about it.
Post # 6
@eeniebeans: I take medication for my anxiety, and I had to do years of therapy to get a good point, but some stuff is still hard. It’s such a big step for me. I feel like I’m just about normal again.
I’m just venting. I don’t want to tell him any of this and guilt him for seeing his family. I think he must have been so excited he just forgot where the time went.
Still makes me sad he didnt at least say goodnight or ask how I was doing.
Post # 7
it’s been 3 days. Today is number 4. He left Thursday.
On a happy note: I conquered a BIG fear of mine. Like, crazy big. I’m so proud of me. Maybe I’ll just start to focus on that.
Post # 8
Aww, I understand. My relationship is bit of an LDR, and I always get a little sad when days go by without FI taking the initiative to text me even just to say “How are you?” or “Goodnight”. Hopefully once he arrives, your disappointment will fade.
Post # 9
@MissFireFlower: Oh! My bad, I thought it was only the weekend. In light of your recovery it would have been nice for him to call and check up on you. Maybe he wanted to not make you feel like he didn’t trust you to take care of yourself, I know that can be a hard balance to strike sometimes. You could just ask him about it casually when he gets back, hopefully he had a good reason. I would be bummed too if I had trouble being by myself and my SO didn’t make sure I was doing okay. I’m very introverted and have a little social anxiety and I know I would get upset if we were at a party for hours and hours and my SO didn’t ask me how I was doing the whole time.
Post # 10
Why didn’t you go with him?
Post # 11
@MrsBroccoli: I was supposed to work. I go in on thrusday after he left and my boss said she “pulled some strings” and reworked the schedule to give me Friday Sarurday off. :/
I tried to tell her it was OK, but she insisted and sent me home early. Now instead of have time off for when he comes home. I’ll be working.
Post # 12
He isn’t a mind reader – if it’s important that he calls you then you need to tell him that. If you haven’t done that then you can’t expect him to call when you want him to. Plus, if you wanted to talk why didn’t you just call him?
Congrats on conquering your anxiety while he has been gone – in hind sight the lack of contact was probably really good for your personal growth and recovery
Post # 13
@MrsWBS: This exactly! It’s fine for you to have expectations of him, and it wouldn’t be unrealistic to expect him to call, but it is unrealistic if he doesn’t know you expect it. Maybe next time he is going to be away you two need to figure out some ground rules so that you don’t end up being disappointed?
Post # 14
@MissFireFlower: Well in this situation….GOOD FOR YOU!! Sounds like you made some marvelous progress this weekend. DOnt worry, even though he hasnt called i guarentee he has missed you. My SO is ALWAYS super affectionate when he has been gone all weekend. SOmetime i will say “ok, dont worry about calling me just have fun” and he will still call and my response is always “errr why are you calling me, i said have fun”. Haha so clearly i’m not like that, but since you have issues with it i think you did a great job! And he will be back and super happy to see you!
Post # 15
OP – I can relate to this so much. I sometimes think I’m too needy but I know that I do need a lot of attention. It would definitely bother me if he went away and didn’t contact me for a weekend. I just like to know that he is still thinking of me when I’m not there.
Post # 16
DH and I have an agreement that if one of us is OOT, we have to talk at least every night. That way we both know the other one is ok. This was decided after he went on a trip for a week (left on a Thursday) and didn’t call very often at all. I hypothetically could have slipped and fallen in the shower on a Friday night, and because he didn’t call all weekend, nobody would have known anything was wrong until I didn’t show up for work on Monday.