Post # 1
I’m waiting for our venue to get back to me (I’m supposed to hear back tomorrow morning) & if they say we can’t get married there idk what to do.
We’re having a 200 person wedding & I get MASSIVE stage frieght. I know everyone says “you won’t notice everyone” but I KNOW I will. I get nervous & slightly nauseous in groups of over 10 people, even if I know everyone. With close friends, its not that way but aquaintances & FI’s friends/fam that I haven’t met. To FI its really important that his fam/good friends come. 75% of the guests are his people, 5% are mine, the other 20% are mutual friends. He has a big family & lots of friends in the area since he grew up here his whole life & I’ve moved here about 4 years ago.
I just want to elope, not have 200 people stareing at me, not have to pick only 25% of the guests to our small reception & dealing with paying for food for everyone, favors, ugg I’m just overwhelmed with bills. I want a 20 person wedding & a large reception party, where we just hang out.
I’m not gonna change anything. I’m kinda just venting but I’m not mad or sad. I’m done working & waiting for FI to come so we can go start packing as we’re getting ready to move.
Post # 3
I can definitely understand that. I’m convinced I’ll trip and fall flat on my face, or mess up my vows in some ridiculous way.
I don’t think weddings would be nearly as nerve wracking if there weren’t so many “obligatory” guests. I know we have more obligatory guests (100) than people we really want there (about 75) – crazy!
Post # 4
i have that same massive stage freight, and because of that (and some other things) we decided on a smaller 30 person ceremony. right after the ceremony we had a reception with all of the people because my husband wanted all of our friends and family there. when i say reception i mean dinner with no wedding traditions- cake cutting, bouquet toss, dancing, etc. because i felt like people would have to look at me during these things, and i didn’t want that.
i had a small ceremony so i can’t speak for a 200 person one, but i really didn’t notice anything going on around me. i even made a mental note to look at the flowers in the aisle b/c i wanted to know how they came out, i had to wait until people posted pictures to see them. my husband and i even had doubts that our photographer was at the ceremony because we both just didn’t notice him until we saw him in people’s pictures. one of my friend commented about how bad it was that a car had their radio blasting through a lot of the ceremony, i had no idea until we watched our video. it’s like i wasn’t even there, i was just so focused on getting married.
Post # 5
Hopefully I’ll be like you artbee & not even focus on it. I mean, I was nervous about a 100 person wedding & then it went up to 200 & I was so scared I’m suprised I didn’t freak out! We’re pretty sure everyone we invited is coming except 1 person who has a family wedding that same day. Its so scary thinking about it! & @ lilyfaith sometimes it does feel like there are the people you “have to” invite & there’s people I’d want there but at the same time I’d rather have smaller numbers than invite all our friends. Mostly its cause he has so many friends, its almost ridiculous!
Post # 6
Could you elope for the ceremony (what you want) and then have a big party when you return (what your FI wants)? That way you both get what you want, but you don’t have as much attention on you? Maybe if you emphasized how nervous you will be in front of your guests to FI he will be willing to compromise.
Post # 7
Well, marriage is all about compromising so maybe you guys could still have wedding guests but just seriously downscale.
Post # 8
When I think about my wedding day, I imagine walking down the longest isle ever with hundreds of people watching my every move. Sorry, that’s how I feel about large crowds. I may talk with FI tonight but we’ve talked about it before. Plus our wedding ceremony can fit hundreds of guests, but our reception can only hold about 50 maybe 60.