Kindness Please?

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 3
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh girl, you can’t take what people say on this thing personally. Live your life. I haven’t even gotten married yet and I told my FI we were doing it all over again in 10 years. I am having a ball planning this wedding.

Enjoy yourself. Plan whatever you want knowing that it’s for you (and hubby), about you (and hubby) and those who don’t want to celebrate with you are better left at home anyway.

Good luck and ENJOY!!

Post # 5
206 posts
Helper bee

There are so many things people talk about on this forum that I’d never even heard before, or things people consider rude that I had never batted an eye at before seeing it on here.  Ultimately you have to enjoy your own life and stop worrying about whether other people agree with something like a vow renewal or not.  A true friend would listen, be understanding and sympathetic to why you want one.  Strangers on the internet have nothing to lose by being brutally honest, cold, mean, or whatever, since they’re not invested in a friendship with you.

I completely understand why some couples want vow renewals.  If it works for you, then do it!

Post # 6
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TakeTwo:  I don’t have a problem with vow renewals themselves. I just have a problem when people call it a “Real Wedding” or a “Second Wedding” because you can’t get married to the same person twice; unless you get a divorce between.

I hope you have a wonderful vow renewal!

Post # 7
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@TakeTwo:  And call it whatever you like.

But if you are sensitive to what strangers will say about your ideas I would warn against posting them publicly. That being said…I’m willing to bet you aren’t inviting anybody from this forum to your event so to heck with us all. It’s nice when folks can build each other up but just as in life there are people on the internet who enjoy tearing down.

Maybe find a couple of folks on here who are a bit warmer to your idea and private message them if you are looking for support.

Post # 8
2172 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think vow renewals are great!  Or blessings or whatever it is that you want to call them.  Especially for people in the military, or who got married abroad, or just plan didn’t get a chance to live it up for the real wedding.  You can totally wear a gown and throw a party and whatever.  I’m cool with that.

I think my biggest pet peeves though are the girls who say they’re getting married, even though technically they’ve been married for a year or whatever.  No, honey, you’re not really getting married, you’re just redoing your vows.  It doesn’t make it less special, but please call it by the right name.  I wouldn’t say anything out loud, but really, inside, I’m thinking they need a dictionary.

Post # 10
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@TakeTwo:  You do what you want to honey!  I’m planning a vow renewal next summer…a big dorky one at a Renaissance Festival here in Colorado…I’m going with a “This is US!” theme…which means Mr. 99 will be in a kilt, I’ll be dressed as a belly dancer and since I never got a bacheloretter party and he never got a bachelor party…we’re doing co-ed one at the house with belly dancers and henna tattoos….

You have to follow your bliss and forget the rest!

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