- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
My one question would be do any of your guests keep kosher? If even some of them do I think you need a kosher caterer.
Some of our guests keep somewhat kosher, like not eating pork or not mixing milk and meat. I'd say a third of the guests fall into that category. About 2 or 3 guests keep strictly kosher and would have to eat vegetarian if we didn't get a kosher caterer
I am open to having a kosher option, just not the entire wedding catered just for those few people.
But not all caterers can handle doing a true kosher option. They couldn't prepare it using their knives or pans that has been used with shellfish or pork. I know that many of my friends that are extremely orthodox would eat nothing at your wedding because of this concern. :(
The Kosher option would be from a kosher caterer that provides individual meals.
I see that as a viable option, but he doesn't, for some reason. Is there any way to compromise?
If you are not keeping kosher regularly, I just don't see any reason to spend the crazy amount of money that it takes to have a kosher caterer. My parents used a kosher caterer for my brother's engagement party but it was luncheon type foods and it was not sit down. They definitely did not do that for the wedding, nor are they doing it for mine. The chazzan (who married them...they were closer to him than the Rabbi) opted not to come to the reception because it was not kosher. Totally his choice - but my parents def. did not get a kosher caterer because of him.
As for your 2-3 friends who keep strictly kosher, if they are indeed fairly strict, they won't eat anything at your wedding, whether its veg or not. I don't know how many people you are planning for, but you can't really base your catering choices around 2-3 people.
If you only have a few strictly observant I would say go for it. You might forewarn them ahead of time so that they can either eat before hand or have a say in what meal is ordered from them. That might make them more comfortable with it too if they can call up the caterer and chose their own meal. That way they know everything is on the up and up. IDK just a thought :)
@Bunnygirl: If there are only a few people, just make sure that the other caterer is providing the meals in sealed packages and it is served to the guests sealed--they should be given either silverware from the Kosher caterer or plasticware.
But I think the bigger issue is WHY your fiance wants to use the kosher caterer for the whole wedding? Is it actually more important to him than simply making the guests comfortable? Is it related to family expectations/traditions? Does he feel like the idea of the wedding is bringing up issues of faith/observance and he actually has a real desire for it for himself? It really seems like if he is pushing the issue that there is probably a bit more to it, and you should at least ask if it relates to any of those points (since you're opposed, and bring up the VERY valid point about the incredible extra cost, he may just be wary to bring it up on his own if it is along the lines of 'because I always thought it would be this way and want it').
On the other hand, you can get amazing kosher food at (relative to other kosher caterers) not terrifying prices--one hint is to look for caterers in areas with large Sephardic communities lol.
Good luck!
@RhubarbPie: I showed my fiance your reply and he seemed receptive to the idea that we really shouldn't base such a huge decision on a handful of people. I think we really need to just sit down and figure this out. He is a numbers man, so maybe some hard evidence of the cost differences and the number of guests who require it will help me out. Thanks!
@bearlove: I think you're right about there being an underlying reason. He hasn't come right out and said it, but he alluded to the fact that in Ontario, a Conservative Rabbi won't marry a couple if their reception isn't kosher. We need to do more research but that's a pretty daunting fact. Also, I think he might just feel people will "expect" certain things, such as kosher food. Either way, your reply gave me a lot to think about! :)
Could also do a fish option if you are concerned about the few that keep more kosher only having the vegetarian option, that is what we are doing.
My fiance just agreed to have non-kosher food as long as there is a kosher option! I guess he realized how important to me having GOOD, real cake was! I know he is making a huge concession for me, so I am definetly agreeable to letting him win some other wedding-related battles.
Now...to find a Rabbi who won't mind the meal...
You could always have a dairy, all vegetarian meal...just saying ;)
We could do dairy, but really, the cost of Kosher catering is very prohibitive....well, that, and my husband-to-be is a meatatarian...
I am so so happy he agreed. Neither of us is strictly kosher, so this makes so much more sense for us.
I had also heard of stories where conservative rabbis wouldn't marry couples who didn't serve kosher food at the wedding. We found a conservative rabbi who agreed to officiate our ceremony despite the un-kosher meal being served at the reception (although she did push for us to look into the option of using a kosher caterer). She's choosing not to attend the reception because of our choice not to serve kosher food. Good luck in your quest to find a rabbi. I'm sure you'll be able to find one that will officiate your wedding.
@Bunnygirl: I have 15 our of 75 Guests who eat Kosher ..... i have another 15 that eat Kosher style my venue wont lower the price per plate if I bring in my own caterer so im doing Kosher style with them and getting Kosher catered for the strict Kosher eaters.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 43 |
| This Time Round | 35 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| Future Mrs K | 28 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
My fiance and I just got engaged 3 weeks ago. We are Jewish, but neither of us keeps strictly Kosher. I am vegetarian, and while he won't eat things that aren't kosher, and doesn't mix milk and meat, he doesn't have seperate plates.
I don't want to have a kosher wedding. Neither of us keeps Kosher so why should we spend so much extra on kosher catering? I obviously wouldn't serve pork or shelfish, or anything blatantly treif. Also, that would mean we would have to have a parve wedding cake, which is never as delicious.Kosher catering in Toronto is not only expensive, but it seems like the food is never as good.
He disagrees and thinks we should get a kosher caterer.
I am not sure how to reslove this. Any suggestions?