Lack of RSVPs

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Elky:  I’m sorry for you:( Is it possible to contact some of these people and get their responses? 117 is still enough people to fill your space and have a great party!!! as far as the money, can you add items to the menu or decor to fill that gap? Don’t be sad! you’re marrying your man and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. Right?

Post # 4
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would make phone calls for those non responders! Even if you don’t have their cell numbers, some people still have landlines that you can look up in the White/Yellow pages!

Post # 6
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I understand how you feel. We had almost 40 of our 150 RSVP cards out there when our date passed. We had about 215 out of 305 RSVP yes. This was a bit of a shock as most people live in the area. It was DH’s family in this situation though. He was pretty upset and so were his parents that so many of their guests said no (or just didn’t respond). We were both a bit upset because we didn’t know why they said no and also because we were no longer going to meet the minimum. Luckily our venue let us upgrade a whole bunch of stuff. We were happy that we were able to upgrade food and drinks for those who were able to make it and received tons of compliments. In the end we had a great time. We certainly missed those who couldn’t make it but we had tons of family and friends surrounding us so we still had a great time.

You should contact those that haven’t replied. We had a surprising amount of people tell us they were coming even though they didn’t bother to RSVP. Also, to fill your hall more you could decrease the amount of people at each table. I strongly disagree with your FI about telling them an inflated number. I would much rather pay extra for something that didn’t get made than waste food. And maybe they will let you put that money towards some upgrades?

Post # 8
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Elky:  I am so sorry and I completely understand. If you follow the July RSVP thread you will see I invited 237 and was expecting 200, hoping for 180.

As of Friday we were missing 21 households andd 55 people. It got better–we are now (after our deadline) only missing 15 households and 34 people. It looks like we will have fewer than 150 people attend. That is painful because we signed with a revenue minimum which would be fine for 175+, but now we have to find a way to pad thousands of dollars. And it will be an empty space– I love my venue, but it is not where I would have put a wedding of 130 (the 20 children won’t be at the reception– they are in a separate space).

My fiance’s family is flying/driving from everywhere, my family hasn’t RSVPed yet.

All I can say is that it hurts now, but focus on who is there. As far as the venue, see if they can up your wedding package so the money doesn’t go to waste– maybe a better bar package, more appetizers, a late night bar? That is how we are getting our minimum.

Post # 9
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Elky:  I see…well Poo to that!  Hate the drs! My daughter has been waiting for 4 mos for an appt with a specialist. I really Hope you can get in to the DR office. It’s important you feel well. I get palpitations too and they suck!!! I’m sending good thoughts your way in hopes some of this crap will work itself out. Hugs 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would try and upgrade your appetizers, think about a dessert table, maybe upgrade the chicken to steak?  Are there premium decor items, such as chiavari chairs or upgraded linens?  If all else fails, I think you’re on the right track with seeking some sort of break from the venue.  I’m sure they’ve run into this situation before – hopefully they’re pretty reasonable about it.

As for the rest of it, there were really no surprises with regard to who would come and who wouldn’t come to our wedding, but it still hurt to get some of those “no” RSVPs.  Sorry that you’re hurting, OP.

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Elky:  I have been told that I am not allowed to follow up until mail comes today and I am sober (I was on my bachelorette when mail came on Saturday and am pretty peeved my godmother hans’t figured out whether or not she wants to bring her ex boyfriend, so she hasn’t RSVPed). We will follow up with everyone this week because I need final numbers next Wednesday.

Sorry :-(. This sucks.

Post # 13
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Elky:  oh honey…. Thats The way people Roll in Canada. I am going to give you the only advice that I have.  Some of your ” closets friends” wont come and wont care…. And some friends you considered adquintances will be there for you and be super happy for you. Family is the same…. Just enjoy with the people that do want to come. Because that is all that is important.

About the venue since you have to pay anyway: I suggest this ” negotiate” ask your caterer to replace plates with these:

. Candy Bar

. Dessert bar

. Cheese bar

. Pasta bar ( for people who stay late and want to party and drink)

For you venue to look the proper size:

. Bigger dance floor

. Rent a few lounge seats and set up a ” sitting room” area for those who dont dance and want to hang out with people from other tables.

 

 

Post # 15
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Post # 16
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Elky:  Do you have anyone else you can send a late invitation to? Or ask around? My SIL had lower then her guaranteed so the week before she was just calling people and saying “hey do you want to come to my wedding” since she was in the same boat… no real way to upgrade. She did get a few more people come.

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