Post # 1
So FI and I are readying the paperwork for our wedding (eeeee!:)) and of course he will have to present his divorce decree in the documentation we send over. We’ve joked a few times about me reading it, i.e FI says “I’ll just leave the house and go for a walk for a couple of hours and let you work your way through it with a bottle of wine”. 😛
It’s not a pleasant thing I am sure, but at the same time is it just satisfying curiousity or finding out potentially important things for the future?
Post # 3
Would not reading it be that big of a deal? Sometimes I go ahead and pass on things that have the possibility of getting stuck in my brain so I can ruminate on them later.
Post # 4
I don’t recall my husband having to provide anything like that. The state has record, so why would we? Also there’s nothing to read. I’m not even sure what it would contain.
Post # 5
I’m not in your situation, but I probably would. I’m not sure if it would be all that beneficial.
Post # 6
I think it would be important to read it so that you are 100% sure about the financial ramifications of his divorce, in case there’s parts of it that he has forgotten or that don’t come into play until later (like part of a pension or 401k goes to the ex etc) that just haven’t come up yet. I would want to see the numbers for myself.
Post # 7
I keep a copy of his settlement agreement at my desk and I remember the terms better than he. I have never asked to review the decree. I think he did send it to me, I just can’t remember but now I am curious and will of course review my emails.
Post # 8
My FI isn’t divorced, but I am, and I would think it was really strange if he wanted to read my divorce decree. If there is something you’re worried about financially, you guys should be considering a prenup instead.
Post # 9
Unless it was a massive dramatic divorce with fuzzy details then no. Mine is divorced (she cheated on him) and I trust him unconditionally. I think it would just be unnecessarily depressing to read, so I’m not going to bother. The only thing it would accomplish is making our day a little less cheerful.
Post # 10
@sailor_girl: +1. I was divorced b4 but DH has never been married. He was with me during my divorce process so he knows everything that’s going on. He doesn’t need to read that 500 page document. Maybe it depends where you’re getting married that you need it?? I don’t get it.
Post # 11
I have seen his divorce papers but have not read them. Just as MsJ2theZ said, I am not sure we need to present them to the state as the state should already be in possession. Make sure you understand finances. Thankfully my fiance doesn’t pay alimony, but pays child support. It’s good to know if the amounts are set or if they will change in the future.
Post # 12
for legal reasons and financial reasons, yes I would. I would want to know what he’s required to do and for how long and all those other dirty details. Once I marry that man, I am tied into that divorce decree with him so I would want to be fully aware of what the details are.
Post # 13
LOL – from the title, I thought you meant read it during your ceremony.
Post # 14
We are both divorced and both of us know what was written in our agreements. He knows what’s in mine because we have talked about it (which is absolutely nothing, it was as very clean split). I have read his mostly out of curiosity. He was required to give her a one time payout, which he did and then all of their possessions and the new owner were listed.
I think it’s at least a good idea to know somewhat of what was in the agreements just so you know how it affects both of you in the future, if at all.
In order to get our marriage license all we are required to show is proof of divorce, which in our province is just a certificate. Everything else doesn’t affect our marriage.
Post # 15
I would get a copy of it and have my/our attorney review it, but would I sit and wade through it myself? No. #1 they really aren’t that interesting and #2 if it was, I don’t see alot of good that can come from it without someone knowledgable (attorney) there to explain it to me.
Post # 16
I didn’t ask to read his. He sent it to me when they were having issues over property and he couldn’t find anything in the decree about that particular property. He asked me to read through to see if he missed it.
Actually, it didn’t provide any information that he hadn’t already told me about and really it was quite boring. I would politely decline reading it if he asked me again just out of pure boredom and I’ve got way better things to be doing.