Ladies trying longer than 10 cycles – How could you cope with all the BFNs?!?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

I stopped POAS about 6 cycles in for one thing, and looking at those boards. They were breaking my heart nd making me angry at other people’s joy, which I didn’t like feeling. I also changed my exectations a bit. I no longer expect a BFP, but AF. That way I’ll be super happy if she doesn’t show, but otherwise it hurts less. I cope by enjoying things I couldn’t do if I was pregnant. I got AF today, into cycle 11 now, so I’m going out drinking this wekend with friends and I had a Rockstar this morning. I get what you mean about not having a desire for sex- I’ve been having to really push myself these last few months because I just don’t feel like it. I’ve been temping for 8 months and have used OPK’s since the beginning, so I know it’s been timed right. I do have Endometriosis though, so I may never get a BFP and if I do it may take years:( I wish you luck in feeling better and a BFP.

Post # 3
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Same as  Aqualov:, the toughest part for me is seeing BFN. So my husband and I made a conscious effort to stop using pregnancy tests. We’ll keep up with the OPKs and temping, but we’ve put all the pregnancy tests in a box and decided not to open. If I’m over a week late in AF, then I’ll POAS. It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s not as devastating when you see a stark BFN. This past month I had an evap on an OSOM test that’s designed to NOT have any evaps, so you can imagine how disappointed I was. This TTC process is much harder than I thought, esp when I’m surrounded by friends and family who have had their child and/or onto their subsequent children. I wish I could provide some comforting words. Just know that you’re not alone on this journey. Despite how easy it seems for others, many couples have a hard time before getting their happy news. 

Find something you really enjoy and love. I found it in yoga and I’ve been practicing almost every day. It calms my mind and when I’m gearing up for an AF, I prepare myself mentally. That’s not to say when I do get my AF, I’m not sad or disappointed. But I no longer have sob-fest and cry uncontrollably. My husband hates seeing me like that and I can’t imagine how helpless he feels. We’re in it together and I just have to be patient. I’ve been off the pill for 18 months, and NTNP for 8 months, while actively TTC 10 months. That’s a long time and that’s 18 times disappointment, and I needed to take a step back and try to make this experience less “work” and more “exciting”. I hope this helps, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I understand where you are. Sending you positive thoughts! An abundance of it. 

Post # 4
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

I just noticed my atrocious spelling and grammar errors. I apologize. I hate that you can only edit for approximately a split second before it takes away that option.

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