Post # 1
I kept my last name. I’m wondering what kinds of small issues to expect in the future that may cause a couple of bumps on the road. I had one today.
I recieved a check made out to me, with my name written as “Roe Smith Doe.”
Hm….I want to deposit it in my own personal account rather than our joint, but it only has Roe Smith on it. No Doe….I have no Doe…
It came from my GMIL who is lovely but I feel like not taking her grandson’s last name will offend her. I’d rather just…avoid that conversation. Permanently, if I can.
I don’t correct people if they call me Roe Doe (usually,) but for things like checks…ugh. I don’t really know what to do. Talk to the bank? Put it in our joint account, even though Roe Smith Doe is not the name of anyone on that account either? Hmm.
Do you ladies have advice? Tell me about your hiccups with keeping your last name.
Post # 3
I haven’t had many hiccups – one time I was on a guest list for a charity event and they couldn’t find me until I had them check under DH’s name…. that’s the ‘worst’ thing I can think of 🙂
I do think people get confused how to send us mail – some people just put our first names – others just use his…. I really don’t care, at this point! 🙂 I’m just happy to get mail!
re: the check … I’d just try to deposit it into your personal account and see what happens… I’d think as long as it’s not some huge amount, you’ll be fine!
Post # 4
As far as the check, I’m pretty sure they’ll deposit it if you just bring a copy of your marriage license. My bank didn’t ask any questions, they just deposited it.
I haven’t full decided if I’m ever go to change my last name (a year later), but the worst I’ve dealt with is some seriously snarky comments from some of DH’s friends. Seriously. Manhood doesn’t equal having a girl with your last name. :/
Other than that, it’s been fine!
Post # 5
I haven’t really run into any issues. I get mail addressed to what would be my married name but that’s really it.
We did receive some checks that had DH’s last name on it. I think we just deposited them in the joint account. Do you have your accounts linked? So you can transfer between? We each have seperate checking accounts but I can go online and transfer money from my checking to our joing checking/savings, and visa versa.
Post # 6
@jo.lee: Ugh, yuck. Some guys have really weird opinions on that stuff.
Excuse me while I geek out here for a moment. BUT! There is a running joke on Doctor Who that When Amy Pond married Rory Williams, they became “The Ponds” to the Doctor. I’ve gone onto some pop culture/ spoilers sites and have found that some people really, really have a problem with that. Blah!
@oracle: I love getting personal mail! I do get extra excited when our names are correct! We recieved a STD to a wedding in December with my name written properly on the envelople. That cousin gets points.
Post # 7
I think I’ve decided to not change my name officially, and just use his name socially.
Post # 9
I know someone on the ‘Bee posted that they had an issue posting a check made out to both of them–the teller wouldn’t do it because they weren’t both on the account, or they didn’t share the same last name (can’t remember which). After a few frustrating moments in the bank, she just used the ATM outside to deposit it and all was fine. I thought that was hilarious.
Post # 10
I don’t know about America, but in Canada when you get married both your husband’s last name and your maiden names are valid legal names for the rest of your life. You don’t have to file any forms to make that true. So, even if you go by your maiden name, but documents/cheques get sent to you in your husband’s last name, it’s still a legal name that you can use so shouldn’t be a problem.
I’m finishing my PhD right now, but won’t receive the diploma until the convocation ceremony in June, which is after my wedding. Since I’m taking my fiancé’s last name, I’m debating which last name to get put on my degree, so I’ve been wondering about this issue from the opposite side.
Post # 11
I’ve never had any issue with not changing my name.
Post # 12
@jolee: This is what I’ve heard most ladies do, just bring a copy of the marriage license in.
I had a bunch of checks from the wedding written to Mr. and Mrs. Hislast so I just had DH deposit them to avoid any hassles. Depositing them through the ATM may work as well.
Post # 13
I ran into the check cashing thing because my aunt put my new last name on it and not my maiden name and the ‘city hall’ didn’t update the bank.
Here in the Netherlands, all legal stuff has the maiden and married name on it. Can’t change it unless I put my married name on my US passport and at that time I’ll get double my married name on all my dutch documents.
So, in the NL I’m Mevrouw X e/v Y and in the states I’m Mrs. X.
You’d think for a country that thinks they’re so progressive, a woman wouldn’t be chained to her maiden name for eternity. One day I’ll get over it. Maybe.