Large-ish Engagement Rings and Nonprofits

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think people associate your PERSONAL wealth with your fundraising needs 

Post # 4
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I really can’t comment to much as I’ve never worked in a non-profit organization but my impression is (and probably wrongly so I apologize in advance) thatwith so much stuff that needs to be done in the world they’d try to do their best to do whatever they can within their society/cause they are attached too.  Keep in mind that this is a ring your fiance gives you, so even if you would never spend that on yourself, unless you flat out told him no it is ultimately a gift.  I personally don’t think that your ring should be indicative of your need for raises/promotions but as you say, impressions are everything and it MAY (although not rightfully) get others to think that way.

You do say that your hands are pretty big and if thats the case you’re diamond won’t seem as large so you may very well get away with it.

If I were you, please keep in mind I am modest overall, I probably wouldn’t wear that big a stone especially in the environment you are in.  That is also part of the reason I myself didn’t want a big ring, for in my field I would seem “less professional.”

Post # 5
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think they go together. I would leave the ring at home in that scenario.

In fact, there were lots of articles recently about how a large (yes, a 2+ carat diamond is always large, one’s finger size cannot offset its priciness) is a disadvantage at work at for-profits for many reasons, especially but not limited to salary negotiations. A diamond that is larger than the norm at work is a career hindrance, it’s that simple.

My ring is not that large, I work in the for-profit sector, and there are still times when I feel it would be disadvantageous to wear it. It’s a high quality round brilliant and sparkles like crazy. That doesn’t look like the no-nonsense, professional image I want to project, say, during a big presentation. Men in particular would subconsciously judge me negatively on my sparkling hand (I may as well just throw a couple of “like”s and “OMG”s into my presentation vocabulary). We can try to pretend that what we wear doesn’t send multilayered social messages or that people will ignore them at work (not saying you are, but I see women trying to do that a lot in the real world regarding various aspects of their appearance), but neither is true. Just because something isn’t usually explicitly talked about doesn’t mean the consequences won’t occur.

Post # 6
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@QuirkySocialite:  There will ALWAYS be those people that judge you for this or that. Things that make no sense and things that absolutely do! Sure, some jerk might think you don’t need a COLA or raise or what not but most REASONABLE people would look at your ring, say “Hot Damn!” and then, realize that if you are a godo worker, you deserve the same as everyone else.

People will get over it. Get your damn ring.

Personally, I have this fight with myself from time to time because of some material items I have. I don’t want to be considered a show off or have people get the wrong idea of who I am but seriously, it’s MY life and I should do what makes ME happy.

YOU should do what makes you happy! Damn haters.

Post # 8
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Personally, with a ring that size I would definitely have your concerns about advancing my career.  It’s not right and it’s not fair, but you will be judged for it and it could have a negative impact.

Have you thought about maybe getting a smaller CZ stand in ring to wear at work?  I know it would suck to not wear your engagement ring, but if you’re very career driven, it might be worth it.

Post # 9
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@joya_aspera:  I think most people will get over it once they stop judging the person for the rock and see what they are actually bringing to the table. At least in my industry, I don’t see it as a showstopper to a career.

Post # 10
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@QuirkySocialite:  I have a 2+ ct solitaire and the reactions have run the gamet. My one cousin in MI asked to see my ring, saw it and went “hmmph.” Some people I’ve worked with have made comments about its size that embarrassed me and made me feel awkward. However, in the end, it is the ring FH picked out and I love it. Should I ever feel it is not appropriate in all instances, I will wear my wedding band alone. You can do the same.

I think you should get what you want! You’re only supposed to do this thing once so GO FOR IT!

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee

@QuirkySocialite:  I work for a non-profit doing fundraising.  I am getting engaged soon and the TCW of my ring will be almost 3 cts. and I am going to wear it all the time.  I have collegues ranging from entry level to director level that have a wide range of ring sizes and no one ever says anything about it nor has it affected their promotions, etc.  You did not buy it for yourslef, it was a gift from your fiance.  And who cares, what if you had saved up money to by a designer bag or something for yourself? that should not affect your job in any way and who cares what people think. That’s just my experience in the non-profit world! Good luck and early Congrats!

Post # 12
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t think it’s a good idea to wear a flashy, expensive ring to a job interview, but it’s generally not as bad after you’ve gotten the job. I do work with nonprofits a lot and I think it really depends on what type of nonprofit you’re talking about.

Dealing with a lot of poverty issues? Not a good idea to wear it. Breast cancer research or similar? Fine.

Post # 13
Member
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I work non-profit. Most of our rings are less than one carat. Frankly, we don’t get paid enough to comfortably be able to afford more than that.

If someone came in with a 2 carat rock, there would definitely be some things said. It’s not right and it’s not fair, but there’d definitely be some looks here.

Post # 14
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@QuirkySocialite:  I work in the non profit field and have a 2+carat ring. I think it really depends on what kind of non profit you work for. I’ve worked in all areas, and currently work for a women’s organization that does some outreach in underserved and highly mobile communities, but I don’t do direct service, I mainly interact with our donors and board members… Some of their rings completely eclipse mine– and I’m in the midwest right now. I wore the ring while interviewing and had no problem negotiating a hire salary than they were offering- they don’t know where my ring came from, it could have been an heirloom ring, but they did know that we had just moved from Beverly Hills…

I wasn’t engaged when I worked for a DV shelter in brooklyn… I definitely would not have worn it to the shelters because it would not have been appropriate– IMO.

Post # 15
Member
6744 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I work for a non profit and while my co-workers have had nothing to say about my ring, some of my clients (who are often more economically disadvantaged) have complimented me on it.  But my ring is certainly not 2 carats.  I do feel awkward about it sometimes.  But I spend 40 hrs a week at work.  Why bother even getting a ring if you are not going to wear it most of the time except while sleeping?

 

Post # 16
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

This is a bit of a pickle. I think Joya is onto something, but I think that personally I would get and wear the ring I love. People will always judge for a multitude of reasons. We have execs where I work that wear the same sparkly Pandora bracelets as I do, for example. Not exactly projecting a masculine image. Maybe I’m naive, but I think that if you generally dress professionally and show you’re a hard worker and valuable contributor, you will get that promotion.

We could all argue sexism in the workplace until we’re blue in the face. It really varies depending on situation. I’m young and attractive and pretty girly. So far it hasn’t negatively impacted me in the workplace that I know of. I’ve always been taken seriously, generally I’m well liked, and I have worked my way up in the five years I’m been at this office. I deal with a lot of “important” people who are much older than I am. I really haven’t had any problems. No, I have not worn a diamond engagement ring to work yet, but I don’t think I will suddenly be treated any differently.

Even if I were starting a new job I would wear my ring. If it’s a place that judges on stuff like that (to the point where I’d be denied a position there) I probably wouldn’t want to work there anyway.

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