- 3 years ago
Hi Bees 🙂
I’m coming out of lurkdom because I finally think I can consider myself “waiting” (SO and I have been talking proposals/engagement for a few months now and I am SUPER excited and hopeful for the holidays) My problem is that I feel like a terrible person lately and need to vent a bit because I’m too ashamed to confess this to anyone I know.
In the past month, three of SO’s best friends’ wives have announced they’re expecting a baby, as well as two of my best friends. SO and I are in our early thirties and we are pretty much the last of our friends who aren’t married. I’m super happy for everyone, of course, but lately I find myself getting (irrationally?) worried that with all our friends in the baby stage that if/when we do get engaged, no one will be excited or care too much about it since it’s not as big of a deal as having a family, and all the wedding excitement will take a backseat to the baby excitement. I hate myself for feeling this way especially since I have always been the kind of person who is happy for everyone else and I don’t usually get jealous.
I have a wonderful man in my life, the best family and friends and yet here I am in this weird pity party because I’m the last in line. Everytime I snap out of it, and remind myself how lucky I am in general, another pregnancy announcement hits Facebook and I keep thinking no one will be able to be in our wedding because they’ll all have more important things to do.
Has anyone ever felt this way or am I just that awful? Any words of wisdom are much appreciated.