(Closed) Last invite question, I promise – babies and toddlers?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Babies names on informal invites? (just for fun really)
    No way, leave 'em off - maybe mom and dad will find a sitter! : (15 votes)
    56 %
    Could go either way, since it's informal and your website says they can bring them : (7 votes)
    26 %
    You must include the kid's name, you evil baby hater! : (5 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I don’t think it looks rude, but if this is your way of telling them “no kids!”, I don’t think many people will get it.  Especially if you already gave them the OK.  If I had a baby, I would not expect the baby’s name to go on an invitation, whether the baby was invited or not. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I don’t think baby names are supposed to be on the invitation regardless. I’m not positive how it should be worded (I’m not having babies or kids at my wedding), but I’m pretty sure etiquette dictates that it’s supposed to read like this:

    “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family”

    ETA: You can’t be on the fence about this- you have to decide whether or not you are having kids at the wedding. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a huge headache.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1207 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    For those three people I would put and family. The only time a kid’s name is put on a formal invite is if it’s an older child living with his parents, and there are other kids also living at home.  And this is only used if you are allowing older children living at home with their parents to bring plus ones.  It’s kind of confusing, lol.  So for those three couples, I would just add and family and be done with it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you don’t want to invite them, leave their names off. I wouldn’t call it a “subtle” hint. In the world of correct form, if your name isn’t on the invitation you aren’t invited, and if you then show up anyway you are at best an “uninvited guest” and in unvarnished language a party-crasher.

    Proper form actually doesn’t allow either the phrase “and Family” or even “and Guest”.

    For a family with YOUNGER children you write:

    Mr and Mrs Phipps
    Sophie, Susan and Jacob

    For a family with OLDER children you send the older ones their own invitations (but as long as they are at the same address you can put them all in the same outer envelope).

    For “and Guests” you find out the guest’s name and address and send the invitation directly to him at his own address.

    You can check this out in “Protocol” which is the official protocol guide in the United States, or in “The Canadian Style” which is the closest Canada comes to an equivalent — or you can just look in Miss Manner’s Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour which says essentially the same thing.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    @aspasia475: Yep, aspasia is right on this one. “And family” is vague, you need the actual names of each invited person (no matter what their age).

    If you want the children to come, their names go on the invite.  If you don’t want them to come, their names don’t go on the invite, because they are not invited.  There’s no middle ground, “you can bring them if you want” on this, they are either invited or they aren’t.

    The good news is, it is not rude to have a child-free wedding (just be prepared for some guests to be unable to attend) nor is it rude for parents to opt to leave an invited child with a sitter.  Even if you do invite the kids, their parents might not bring them.  They would not be rude if the rsvped just for 2.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Honestly, I would go with “and Family”. Again: embrace the “and Family”! 

    You are really nice, btw… inviting cousins’ boyfriends, toddlers, etc.! I was ruthless πŸ˜‰

    Post # 10
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    yeah i agree with the “and family” i think it would be odd to see babies names on a invitation for a wedding

    The topic ‘Last invite question, I promise – babies and toddlers?’ is closed to new replies.

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