(Closed) Last-minute jitters?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I got a bit freaked out. Right before and especially after we got married. It was just weird to me, it’s a huge commitment! What always helped me to calm down was thinking about my husband, and how awesome it would be to spend the rest of my life with him. That made it way less scary.

Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in the same boat!!!  When we went to get our marriage license, I was a little emotional.  @ my 1st fitting, I almost started crying.  I haven’t really been emotional until this month.  Its hitting me that I’m finally getting married to someone who I love and loves me. 

I’m happy I decided to take the wk off cause I have a feeling I will really emotional.

Post # 6
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My fiance and I have been engaged for a little over 5 years.  We’ve broken up umpteen times and gotten back together.  It’s been over big/real reasons and some very trivial.  

I’m 50 and was married once for 50 weeks (bad betrayal). My fiance is 43 and has never been married.  

We recently had a pretty good talk and finally admitted to one another that we’re both terrified.  Maybe that’s why we’ve never actually gotten married and have broken up so many times… fear.

But we keep getting back together.  I don’t think we’re ever going to be completely rid of one another and I’m not absolutely sure we’ll actually make it all the way to getting married either.

But it felt much better admitting our fears to each other.  It felt a little threatening (almost like “how dare he be afraid to marry me although I’m afraid to marry him”) but I’ve got a dress ordered, a back-up dress bought (both inexpensive, not wedding gowns), my ring sized, etc… 

Anyway, not sure what my point is here.  But you might try talking to your fiance about it… (although it may feel threatening and cause a fight even/especially if he’s equally nervous).

If you’ve had no doubts till now, then it’s probably just jitters.  And a reasonable time for you to remind yourself of all the reasons that you haven’t had doubts before now… 

If you have real tangible relationship-breaking reasons, well… reasons are more than doubts… But it doesn’t sound like it… especially since you sound like you’ve already diagnosed the answer and just want a bit of validation that you’re not alone…

You’re not alone… LOL!

 

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally understand this feeling. I have been having the same thing happen (hence that crazy celebrity crush thing from that other thread). What’s been helping me is realizing that this happens to many, many people, and talking to my fiance about it.

For you, what thoughts/doubts do you have that are making you nervous? Is it really anything that you can articulate, or just a general feeling of uneasiness because of the enormity of the commitment itself?

Post # 8
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have heard that it’s totally normal.  I wouldn’t worry unless there have been doubts all along.    I think it’s kind of like how singers get a case of stage fright just before a performance; it means that they care about the event and want it to go well.

Post # 9
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MapleBecky: Ooh, great analogy!

Post # 10
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just got married yesterday, haha. I know exctaly how you feel. I was nervous, jittery all the way up until I was at the end of the aisle with my husband. (Wow it’s says weird saying that, haha.) I’m sure everythig will be great, just breathe and relax.

Post # 11
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I feel the same way!  Im getting married the weekend after you. It feels odd giving this advice bc I need to follow it my self and cant seem to.  Just put all the wedding stress aside and remember why you got engaged, how you felt, the reasons you fell in love with him.  Congrats and enjoy your day!  Keep us updated.

Post # 12
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m definitely starting to feel that way.  But… I do know… being nervous is totally normal, and it’s not a bad thing!

I wasn’t nervous at ALL before my first wedding, not anxious or anything. And in my less than scientific study of the few hundred weddings I’ve coordinated, nerves are good.

Just focus on the basic things – eat, sleep, BREATHE!  It’ll all be over before you know it, so slow down and enjoy it as much as possible 🙂

Post # 13
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is normal to feel this. I honestly didn’t feel that way until the day of my wedding. I got really nervous and almost had a break down as waited to walk down the asile

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