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I've never heard of this being a faux pas.... I've designed lots of invitations and stationery for people with their monogram, and if you're planning to take your fiance's last name, I think it's perfectly fine to use his last inital. You could either do just the first letter of his last name, or a monogram with both of your first name initials and his last name initial combined. The preferred way to do this would be (if your names were Jane and Christopher Burke): JBC (maybe with the B a little larger in the center).
I would personally not use it on the invites, but use it on everything else like your napkins, programs, thank you cards, favors, etc...
Good Luck!
I've also heard that you should not use the monogram until after the ceremony. I think i read it at creativemontage.com on their policies and procedures sheet.
A work around or substitute is to use full last name or full first names, i think.
and since no one really knows about this any more, does it matter....? I'm going through this process also.
Meh, whatever. Etiquette, schmetiquette. There are times when etiquette serves a real purpose by preventing you from doing something rude, but this is not one of those times. It's an old-fashioned rule that gets broken all the time.
In my personal opinion I say go for it, whether it used to be a faux pas a century ago or not! It's really common to use your new last name initial in your monogram and I fully intend to put our monogram front & centre on our invites.
I embossed the first initial of our married last name on the envelopes of the invites...no one seemed to mind! I'm also putting that initial on my bouquet...I look at it as a celebration of what's about to be!
i don't think it's inappropriate in that it's rude or a major faux pas, but it does make sense not to use the full monogram on invitations or anything pre-ceremony, since you are not using his name yet. for instance have both your intials on the invites (first and last: AB-YZ, or just last B-Z). then on the post-ceremony items have the full monogram (AZY)...i.e. on favors, napkins, thank you notes.
I'm doing it (using FI's last name initial) on all my wedding print beginning with the invitations, just because our monogram is kind of a central "theme" to our wedding. I know its against ettiquette, but if you followed ettiquette ALL the time, you'd be a robot bride :)
If you love your new monogram, use it!
we have the same first initial "a" so i designed our monogram as two lower case a's with a script ampersand that connects them.
so i just say do whatever you like or what you think is most appealing to you!
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Hi girls! I'm starting to design (or buy) a monogram for all our stationery, but I'm confused by which initials to use. Would it be a faux pas to include my finace's last name initial in our monogram on our wedding invitation? When can I begin to use his last initial? Programs, thank you cards, etc?